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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23200786">The Final Curtain</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CutiePie4173/pseuds/CutiePie4173'>CutiePie4173</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Astronomy, Bad Boy Ben Solo, Ben Is Corrupting Rey, Ben Solo is Not Nice, Ben Solo is a Mess, Cliques, Cunnilingus, Cute, Developing Relationship, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, First Kiss, First Love, First Time, Hand Jobs, High School, Horny Teenagers, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Minor Reference to Assault, References to Shakespeare, Rey is Not a Palpatine, Secret Relationship, Senior year, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Teasing, Teen Angst, Teenagers, Vaginal Fingering, Virgin Rey (Star Wars), drama club</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 07:28:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>49,162</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23200786</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CutiePie4173/pseuds/CutiePie4173</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey Jackson has it all. Class president, straight-A student, adoptive family, good friends, and the leading role in the school play. When Ben Solo is cast as her leading man, she must find a way to work with her sworn enemy to make the show a success. But making friends with the school bully has its consequences.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kylo Ren &amp; Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron &amp; Finn, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey &amp; Ben Solo, Rey &amp; Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>85</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>280</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Ijustfellintothissendhelp</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Senior Year</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey’s mouth dropped as she stared at the cast list. She had gotten the lead. She knew she was a senior and she had acted in every production, but this was a shock to her system. Last week during auditions, she had flubbed her lines during the reading and was sure the director hated her. Mrs. Amidala was a spacey old woman who never stopped talking about the good old days. She had one of those voices that travelled up and down her vocal register as she over pronounced every word in the English language.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But now, Rey’s eyes were glued to her name on that piece of paper. <em>Rey Jackson</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She turned on her heel and looked down the hallway both ways before clenching her fists and bouncing on her toes. Her whispered a few <em>Yes</em>’s and even let herself “Eeee” before twirling and walking down the hallway, barely feeling her feet lit the linoleum.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">———</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The bell rang just as Rey sat down in her chair for her Astronomy class. She was incredibly grateful that Mr. Kenobi had decided to offer the class to seniors this year - Rey had audibly winced at the idea of doing Anatomy. The dissections alone made her cringe, but knowing she would be in class with the same kids who were in remedial chemistry the year before made her nearly cry. Instead, Mr. Kenobi offered Astronomy this year to his former Honors and AP Chemistry students and she could’ve kissed the man. Rey loved space and Mr. Kenobi was a great teacher - It was a match made in heaven.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A minute after the bell, as Mr. Kenobi was shutting the door, Finn slid inside and offered a large grin in apology before sitting next to Rey.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Really? We just had French together. We walked the same distance. How are you late?” Rey teased, offering a faux exasperated look.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Finn shrugged. “Poe texted and said he needed to borrow my Computer Science textbook.” Rey raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “What? He did!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey lifted her hands innocently. “Hey, whatever you and your boytoy-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He is not my boyfriend!” Finn huffed. He was still a bit sore that he and Poe were voted “Class Couple” in last year’s yearbook. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The two were nearby inseparable and had been since seventh grade when Finn moved in. Rey found it rather cute that the two of them got so defensive when people teases that they might be a couple. Poe was a proud bisexual, but Finn was still deep in denial. Even after Rey had found both a Playgirl and a Playboy under his bed during a sleepover.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mr. Kenobi raised his hands up to get the room’s attention. “Alright! Pass your homework to the front, and let’s start today’s lesson on-,” He clicked the remote to the projector and a slide show began. “Rovers and Satellites!” A small gif of an animated Curiosity Rover waved from the center of the screen.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey diligently took notes and scribbled down some questions as she thought of them. She was determined to get an A in this class. An A meant that Mr. Kenobi would write her a recommendation for college and maybe, just maybe, that would be the push she needed to get into MIT.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Psst, hey!” A voice whispered from the other side of her. Rey looked up and Rose was grinning at her. “Congrats on getting the lead role! You’re gonna be fantastic!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey was touched. “Aww, thanks, Rose!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jannah touched Rey’s sleeve from her seat behind Rose. “You totally deserve it, girl,” she whispered.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thanks! I’m seriously nervous, but I’m so excited!” Rey’s mind had already drifted to opening night, holding a bouquet and bowing before a standing ovation.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You should be! And you’re not worried about it?” Rose asked. Rey’s fantasy suddenly stopped.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I mean, I’m nervous… Why should I be worried?” Rey felt her stomach twist. That was the thing about Rey - her instincts were never wrong.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rose and Jannah shared a look before Jannah leaned in close to her. “You don’t know?” The silence between them felt heavy. “Ben Solo got the other lead.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And Rey’s fantasy cracked and shattered like glass. The three of them turned their heads to look at the tall, looming boy in the back of the class. He was tall and broad, like a mountain, with a large nose and ears. His thick, dark hair brushed the collar of his leather jacket and his big brown eyes were glued to the screen, his hand never slowing as he took down the notes. If he was anyone else, Rey might have called him handsome.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben Solo was… How to describe him? He was <em>the worst</em>. He was rich, privileged, and a complete and utter ass. He mouthed off to teachers, smoked pot behind the school, and was a general bully to everyone. When Finn first arrived, Ben held him up against a locker and had his cronies shake out his backpack all over the hallway. He stole money and cigarettes from his victims. The worst part was that he was a good student - He was always in the top 5 of the class. That allowed him to stay captain of the fencing team and the tennis team, and of course he always led them to championship wins.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And Rey couldn’t stand his pompous, domineering, tyrannical attitude. He always acted like he owned the place. He had joined drama club last year and actually had gotten in good with a lot of the male members of the club. But he and Rey were oil and water any time they were within spitting distance of each other. She hated him and he hated her, and that was it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">So why, oh why, did the universe decide she had to spend every afternoon with him?</span>
</p><p class="p1">------</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey, Poe, and Finn sat in the front row of the auditorium, sharing memes and dumb videos while they waited for rehearsals to start. They were among about twenty teens waiting in the first few rows. Rey looked back at the entrance to look at the clock, when Ben and Phaedra entered, much to her dismay.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Phaedra was one of Ben’s cronies and was rumored to be his girlfriend. But then, his right-hand man Huxley was also rumored to be his boyfriend. Everyone knew that Ben Solo was a player anyway - it wouldn’t be shocking that he was hooking up with both of them. Ben said something to Phaedra and the blonde flipped her hair over her shoulder and walked out as Ben made his way down the center aisle. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His eyes flicked over the crowd, deciding where to sit, when they met Rey’s. Her mouth squeezed into a thin line and his eyes narrowed. He held her gaze for a moment before he moved towards a seat on the opposite side of the theater a few rows back. She turned and huffed, refocusing her attention on her friends.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mrs. Amidala appeared onstage and clapped her hands loudly to get everyone’s attention. “Hello! Good afternoon, my actors and actresses. Welcome to the first rehearsal of the Winter Play!” There was applause and a few whoops from the back. “Yes, yes! I am looking forward to this cast - You were all splendid in auditions last week. Please, grab your scripts from Ms. Tico, our stage manager, and we can get started!” Rose waved politely from her seat on the edge of the stage and gestured to the large stack of printed scripts.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey grabbed one of the scripts with a wink to Rose, and sat on the stage as part of the forming circle of actors. She snagged her highlighter from her pocket and signed her name on the cover with a flourish. Now it was hers. She looked around the circle as she flipped to the first scene. A few other actors were already highlighting or underlining their scripts, with freshman awkwardly asking to borrow utensils.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben was sitting with one leg bent, idly skimming through the script. He was a giant next to the small freshman boy beside him. Poor little guy - Rey hoped he would be spared.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mrs. Amidala joined them, sitting with her legs bent to one side, script in her well-manicured hands. “Before we get started, the rehearsal schedule is on the back page of the script for any of you who are curious. Today we shall be doing a read through, and tomorrow we get started with scenes one and two. Be sure to be punctual, yes?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was a murmur of agreement before she continued. “Now, let’s go around and introduce ourselves. Name, pronouns, grade, and character should be sufficient.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And that was the beginning of the longest week of Rey’s life.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. A Deal Struck</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ben and Rey make a truce.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey puffed our her cheeks as she stuffed her binder into her backpack. Stupid Ben with his stupid face. Stupid theater. Stupid acting. She hated it - all of it. She just wanted to go home and stuff her face with leftover Mac and Cheese and watch The Bachelor.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rehearsals hadn’t been going well. Ben was late to rehearsals and was constantly talking to the other actors. They could barely look each other in the eye to recite their lines, let alone… <em>touch</em>. Their characters were supposed to be this friends-to-lovers bullshit. In the third scene, she was supposed to sob into his shoulder over the death of her father, but it definitely came off cold and distant. They had no chemistry at all. What the fuck was she gonna do?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Poe snapped her out of her thoughts by jingling his keys in front of her face. “Hey, kid, want a ride home?” She couldn’t help the smile as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and offered a goofy grin. She rolled her eyes and stood up, sighing in defeat. Rey slung her bag over her shoulder and started to walk towards the parking lot when the door to the Black Box opened. Ben stood there, staring at her with an intense expression.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Can I talk to you?” His gaze shifted to Poe and then back to her. “Alone?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It took Rey a moment to realize he was talking to her. She opened her mouth to protest, but noticed Ben’s expression. He didn’t look like he wanted to be argued with. She closed her mouth and sighed, walking towards the open door. “I’ll be out in a few minutes, meet you at your car.” Poe frowned deeply, but kept walking towards the parking lot.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben ushered Rey inside the small room. It was a black box theater as well as a dance studio. It wasn’t used often besides for the dance teams and yoga club. Right now it was completely empty besides the two of them, and something about that made Rey’s stomach tense.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What do you want, Ben?” Rey asked testily.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Truce. I’m not here to argue with you,” he explained, leaning against the small piano in the corner.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey found small bench and sat down, looking up at him. She kept her back straight and her gaze firm, unwilling to give him any sense of power. “Then what do you want?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He ran a hand through his hair. “Listen. You don’t like me, and I don’t like you. We don’t get along. That’s fine with me.” She rolled her eyes but nodded as he spoke. “But I’m not letting that get in the way of this show. I don’t know about you, but I worked my ass off during that audition. This is my last show since I have tennis during the spring show. I want to do this.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey was a bit surprised at his words. He sounded… almost sincere? “I worked hard too, you know.” She intended the words to bite, but they came out more blankly than she meant. Like stating a fact instead of making a point.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know,” he agreed, “and you were good. We were both good. That’s why we’re here. But I don’t need to tell you that.” He sighed and closed his eyes. “I want to make this work. I want us to put on a good show. And we need a truce in order to make that happen.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wanted them to get along? That didn’t sound like the Ben she knew. She had met Ben when they were in fourth grade after she had moved in with her adopted family. He was sweet back then, but turned into a jerk after the summer of sixth grade. Word was that it was because his parents divorced. But the guy in front of her wasn’t that snotty preteen anymore. He was being open - something she had never seen from him - and he made a good point.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a moment of silence, she nodded. “You’re right. We can’t let this bullshit between us ruin the show. We have to put it aside for the good of everyone else.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And our college applications,” he added with a raise of the eyebrows. So this was an arrogant act rather than a charitable one. Of course.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She stuck out a hand. “Fine. I agree. No more arguing, no mean looks, no weird vibes. Are we done here?” She didn’t mean to sound testy, but she really did have places to be. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He stared at the hand and wet his lips with his tongue. “Actually… We need to talk about one more thing.” He hand lowered as she looked at him suspiciously. “…The kissing.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck, she had hoped he wouldn’t bring that up. Their characters were supposed to kiss three or four times throughout the show. One of them was supposed to be “long and passionate” according to the script. She had kind of hoped they could cut those scenes out. She closed her eyes and picked up her phone to text Poe. She’d have to call her dad to pick her up - this conversation might be a bit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben shrugged. “What are we gonna do?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey pocketed her phone and shrugged back dramatically, mocking him. “I dunno!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben frowned and gritted his teeth. “Would you fucking stop that?! I’m trying to be nice to you!” He barked, baring his teeth at her. She shrunk back immediately, and his expression softened. “…I’m sorry I yelled, but I really am trying to work this out. Help me?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She sat back up, biting her lips as she looked down. He was right, that sarcasm was unnecessary.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why do you hate me, anyway?” Ben pulled out the piano bench and sat down, relaxing his posture to be more on her level. “I don’t think I ever did anything to you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey looked up to meet his gaze, the fire back in her eyes. “You bully everyone!” He quirked an eyebrow, but said nothing. “You stole Finn’s wallet!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I gave it back to him,” Ben replied wryly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“By throwing it in the toilet.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You called Poe a… faggot!” The word tasted like poison on her tongue.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He was hitting on me!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So you wrote that on the school message board?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Woah, that wasn’t me. I don’t know who did that, but it wasn’t fuckin’ me.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And what about all the kids who you knock their shit out of their hands and steal their stuff?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why does that matter to you?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey stood up and looked down at him. “Because I believe people should treat each other with respect!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben stood and matched her fire. “And I believe that respect is as respect does, and none of those shits respected me!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The silence was electric as they glared at each other, fire raging through their bones. Rey felt like she had been looking into those brown eyes for years by the time she lost their staring contest. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She flung her hands up in desperation and rested them on her head as she sat back down. She slowly inhaled and exhaled, like she did when she meditated, and met his eyes again. “This isn’t helping us get along.” Ben shook his head and sat back down. He was still angry - she could feel the seething energy radiating from him - but he was trying his best to cool down. She continued, “The only way for us to get along is for me to let go of some of your bullshit and for you to start leaving people alone.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“All of my bullshit,” he corrected. A small smirk cracked through his harsh exterior.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was the first time he had ever smiled at her. Ben had been a somber kid when they were elementary school. He always looked tired and sad, but he was sweet and smart so she never paid it much attention. When his parents got divorced, he just got angry and mean. Sure, she had seen him laugh and goof around, but that was different. This smile was quiet, friendly, and private. It looked good on him. Maybe that’s why he was such a jerk. How often was he happy?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay, deal. Clean slate. But only if you knock off the bullying shit. You and your friends,” she warned.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I can’t control what they do when I’m not there. But fine, I’ll lay off. I care more about this than messing with freshmen. Besides, we’re seniors. Who the fuck is gonna say anything?” He shrugged and let that smile grow a bit. He was actually trying to relate to her. Holy shit, he was actually <em>trying</em> for probably the first time in his life.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She stuck out a hand. “Deal?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He took her small hand in his large one firmly and shook it. “Deal.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They had never touched before. Not once. His palms were calloused. Her finger tips had blisters. The backs of his hands had small scars. Her nails were bitten and half-painted. She had never noticed anything about Ben besides his size before. He wasn’t so big and tough when she got up close. He was physically bigger than her, yes, but he was goofy looking and looked pretty boy-next-door when he stopped glowering for a minute. She released his hand after a moment, hiding it behind her back.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay, so, what’s the plan?” She asked, grabbing her book bag that had fallen to the floor during their conversation.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He slung his over one shoulder and stood up. “Well, I figure… Maybe we could run these scenes by ourselves. Like, we could meet during study halls or after rehearsal. We could run them at our own pace and like… talk about how to do them? I want you to be comfortable, and it’s impossible for us to talk with everyone staring at us.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She nodded and they began to walk out together. “No, I agree. And we could probably come up with some cool blocking if we just have time to, like, play with it.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben held the door to the Black Box for her. “Exactly. And when it comes to… the other stuff,” He coughed and lowered his voice a few decibels. “We can just work on it when it feels natural. We can get everything else down first. I’m fine with that.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She fought down a small blush that crept up. The thought of kissing Ben onstage for everyone to see had been a lot for her to think about. She had never kissed anyone onstage before. She nodded vigorously. “Perfect. And, hey, maybe we’ll get off book before everyone else!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As they exited the school and stepped out onto the sidewalk, the chill hit Rey immediately. They both muttered an expletive and wrapped up tighter in their jackets. Ben began to walk towards the parking lot, while Rey stayed back.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Aren’t you going to your car?” Ben asked, turning around to look at her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I… Don’t actually have one. I was going to call my dad to pick me up. It’s all good, I’ll be fine!” She assured. Another gust a wind hit them both and Rey felt it go right through her. She reached for the handle of the door back into the school, but it was locked. Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben held out his keys. “I could give you a ride.” Rey looked at him as he had three heads. “Listen, I know we’ve only been friends for like…” She watched him fake a calculation in his head. “Five minutes, but I’m not letting you stand out here in the cold.” She paused, unsure. “Come on! Or else you’re gonna get sick and I’m gonna have to kiss on some freshman understudy, and no body wants that.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey hurried her pace to meet up with him, and they walked briskly towards the parking lot. “Don’t you live on the south side of town? I live north from here.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben shrugged and unlocked his car. “Who cares? No one’s at home waiting for me.” Rey took in his words and realized how sad they sounded. Was there really no one looking out for him? Who did he live with anyway, Mom or Dad? At least she had two parents who doted on her, even if her birth parents had abandoned her. The more she spoke to Ben the more she started to understand why he acted like he did.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben’s car was nice. It wasn’t exactly the Rolls-Royce she had imagined, but it was a sleek, all-black Lexus hybrid. Red leather seats, faux star ceiling, top of the line sound system. Rey had worked at a mechanic’s last summer and she had seen these kinds of cars. Ben had customized his baby. Who the fuck were his parents? She climbed in the passenger’s seat and buckled in, looking around. It was very clean, unlike the junk-food strewn floors of Poe’s pickup truck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben started it up and buckled himself in, playing with the display a bit. “Where do you live?” She told him and watched him type it in before turning on some music faintly. He liked classic rock, too? Damn, maybe they actually did have things in common.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The ride was quiet at first, until Ben cleared his throat. “So… When do you want to start?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey snapped her head towards him. “Start?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The extra rehearsals, Rey,” he explained. Had he ever said her name before? This whole friendship thing was moving very quickly. But then, they only had about six weeks before the show went up, so they had better become friends fast. “What are you doing tomorrow?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit, tomorrow? He was really serious. “Uh… Nothing, as far as I can tell. Need to run a few errands,” she said, pulling out her phone calendar. Yeah, nothing was planned yet.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Great, I’ll pick you up tomorrow around four?” He posed, eyes never leaving the road. Pick her up? Like, hang out, outside of school? This kid had no shame, no inhibitions, and seemingly very little anxiety. Rey could not relate to that.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Pick me up? Where are we gonna run lines?” She asked, still looking at her phone. No matter how she sliced it, she was in Ben’s car talking about weekend plans to be <em>alone</em>. That was a weird-ass feeling and while she didn’t hate it, she wasn’t exactly comfortable either.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“My house. My basement is one of those nice furnished ones with a TV and pool table. No one should bother us down there,” he explained. He pulled up into her driveway and parked. He looked over to her with one forearm on the steering wheel. “Does four work for you?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She slowly nodded as she unbuckled her seatbelt. “Uh, yeah. Four is fine. Do you… want my number, so you can text me when you’re close?” The words were very weird in her mouth. She had accepted a ride from Ben. She had agreed to hang out with Ben. Now, she was giving her number to Ben. Was mercury in retrograde? Was this a dream? Life had stopped making sense the moment she shook his hand.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He pulled his phone from his jacket pocket, unlocked it, and handed it to her. She pulled up the contacts screen and entered her information, including her address. She paused as she looked at the “name” space. She usually would put a cute emoji or something, but she settled on her full name instead, nothing fun or silly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He took the phone back and pocketed it. “Cool, I’ll text you so you have my number. See you tomorrow.” His voice was even and serious, but he caught her gaze and that small smirk broke through again. So he liked her? They were actually friends? Rey pondered that smile as she got out and waved to him before hiking up to her front door.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What a weird afternoon.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Sexuality, Feminism, and James Bond</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Rey battles with attraction, Ben reveals his feminist nature, and a box of candy is brutally murdered.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Friday had rolled around again, and Rey was a bit shocked how easy it had been to get along with Ben. It wasn’t like either of them had told anyone what they were doing, so it wasn’t too stressful on their social lives. At first, it had just been that one afternoon in his basement and a study hall or two, but then it became pretty much any time they weren’t busy doing something else. It was easy to talk to him, sometimes even easier than it was to talk to Finn or Poe or Rose. Maybe because she knew that she had nothing to lose.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t you get it, Lyssa? God, a girl as smart as you should know this by now,” Ben recited, still eyeing the script in his hand as he finished the sentence.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Know what, exactly?” Rey put her hands on her hips, but broke character. “Hold on, lemme try something.” She cleared her throat and changed her pose to have her hand out towards him in exasperation.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, yeah, that’s good. So I can just-“ Ben glided toward her and wrapped an arm around her waist. With her hand in that position, she was cradling his jaw. It definitely came off smooth and choreographed, but that was the idea. He nodded and backed up to try it again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He glided, this time speaking. “That I love you, babygirl. Don’t you understand that? I love you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With his head tilted towards hers, she paused. Shit, and this was where they always stopped. She blushed and ducked her head, backing up from his arms. “Wanna go again?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben ran his tongue over his teeth and stared at her, annoyed. “Rey. What’s going on? Talk to me.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey shrugged. “What? What do you mean? You don’t want to run it again?” Her acting faltered when it came to lying.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben sat on the back of his couch. The basement was warm - a nice peachy color with tan leather furniture and cherry cabinets - and was pretty bare bones. Plenty of room for them to play with blocking. And they were always left alone. Ben’s mom worked for a non-profit which kept her out fairly late, so they were usually on their own.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Rey,” Ben continued. “It’s been a week. We’ve been rehearsing these scenes over and over again. I think I’ve been spending more time with you than anyone else this week. And that doesn’t include us texting all night,” he started, crossing his arms. He was right: the two of them had gotten quite close. Between shakespearian literature class, astronomy class, theater rehearsal, and occasionally sitting together during free period in the library, they had spent hours together. He had driven her home every night that week. And… They had spent more than witching hour texting. She bought him a coffee the day before.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So?” She feigned, not meeting his eyes and circling the couch to sit on the cushions. She felt his eyes on the back of her head.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben elegantly lifted his legs over the back of the couch to sit next to her. “So, we did all this so you would be comfortable kissing me. You haven’t even tried it and you won’t let me do it,” he said, exhaling and laying back against the cushions. “What’s going on? What haven’t you told me?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey felt the redness rising in her face. Shit, shit, shit. She was out of excuses.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She turned to him, a finger in his face. “You have to swear you won’t tell anyone.” He nodded, looking unconvinced she was about to say anything major. She sighed and looked at the floor. “I… I’ve never kissed anyone before.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben was quiet for a moment, then shifted to sit upright. “Woah, wait, really? You?” Rey nodded solemnly and tucked her chin so he couldn’t see her face. She felt so embarrassed that she could have cried. But that probably wouldn’t have helped. “No, no, I don’t mean it like <em>that</em>, like it’s fine, but you’re so-“ He stumbled. “You’re cute, Rey, I don’t get how you’ve never kissed anyone.” He paused again. “Unless maybe you don’t like kissing guys? Which is cool, if that’s the case.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey couldn’t suppress a laugh as she looked up. He was trying to figure out words. Ben wasn’t good with words. He had told her that’s why he had to look so menacing all the time. She shook her head, “No, no, I like guys. Dunno if it’s as much as other people or how I feel about girls, but I do like guys. I want to kiss them. I just haven’t.” She ran a hand through her hair. “I tried to kiss Poe once but I chickened out. It’s actually how we became friends. And I don’t really go to parties and no one’s ever shown interest in me, so I just never got around to it, I guess.” She looked up at the ceiling now, laying back on the pillows. Anywhere was better than looking at his face.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wait… Rey, you’ve never been on a date before?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The question alone made Rey want to hide under the couch. He was being sincere and nice too, not a hint of teasing in his voice. Teasing probably would have made it better, honestly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…No,” she squeaked.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He was quiet again. Suddenly, he got up from the couch and went to the closet. He grabbed his leather jacket and her fleece and threw it at her. She caught it and stared at him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She cocked her head. “What are you doing?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well,” he started, slipping his arms through the sleeves and adjusting his hair to not get caught in the collar. “I’m taking you on a date.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He said it like it was so obvious, but Rey’s head was still spinning. A <em>date</em>? With <em>Ben Solo</em>? She had agreed to be in the play with him, agreed to be his friend, even agreed to eventually kiss him, but a <em>date</em>? And it would be the first date she’s ever been on. With Ben fucking Solo.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hold on, I never agreed to that,” she protested. She stood up anyway and started to put her fleece on.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He paused and slowly sauntered over to her, face neutral, and grabbed one of her hands. He towered over her like she had seen him done to his victims and stared her down. His expression was still neutral and soft. “Rey. Do you want to go on a date with me?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey felt about twelve emotions hit her at the same time with those words. She was flattered and embarrassed, angry at the idea of this being out of pity, grateful he would do this, suspicious of his intentions, intrigued about what this would be like… And, if she were being completely honest with herself, kinda turned on. Wait, what the fuck? Maybe it was just the way he was staring down at her. Nothing to do with him, just… how he was acting.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She scrunched up her nose and met his stare. “…Fine.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His expression shifted to a wide grin and he backed off from her. “Good! You were going to anyway, I just figured I should ask.” He was a such a little shit. “Your chariot awaits.” He pocketed his wallet and keys and winked at her before ascending the stairs.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">———</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A drive-in was not what Rey had expected, but she appreciated it nonetheless. It was a fun and social thing, but they could be comfortable in their own space. He hadn’t let her pay for anything, not even the box of candy in her lap, which he assured her was still a modern gesture. “If you want, you can pay for the next date,” he said. While she was sure it was a joke, Rey kept pondering over those words.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The movie was actually pretty good. James Bond movies were instant classics, and it was actually pretty intense. Rey watched the timer tick down on the bomb onscreen, and she realized she was crushing her box of candy. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suddenly, she felt a weight on her right thigh. Ben had put his hand on her thigh. Not downward in a groping way, but upward. She shot him a confused look, and he rolled his eyes as he grabbed her hand and interlocked their fingers. He leaned over and stole a piece of candy from the box with his free hand and popped it in his mouth. “This is what a date is,” he said simply, before leaning back in his chair.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She had to admit - Holding his hand felt pretty nice.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They didn’t talk much for the rest of the movie. And Rey enjoyed the night for the most part. She felt her heart rate rise when his thumb gently brushed over the back of her hand during a death scene, and she had definitely caught him staring at her at one point. But he had been much nicer than the guys who had dated her friends, so that was a win.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It had started to sprinkle rain as they pulled out of the drive in. Ben drove her home and she unbuckled her seatbelt and got out, as she had done every other day. As she started to walk, she heard another car door behind her. Ben hurried and fell in step next to her, hands in his pockets. She didn’t ask, but paused when they got to her door.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh shit, this is where she was supposed to <em>kiss</em> him. It was a ‘goodnight’ kiss or whatever, like in the movies. Did she want to kiss him? She knew she was going to have to eventually. She tried to calm the blush in her face as she rocked a bit on her toes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He looked at her face a moment before nodding and smiling. “Get to bed, alright? I’ll text you when I get home.” And with that, he stepped off her porch.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She twisted her head to look at him. “Woah, woah, wait. Aren’t I supposed to kiss you now, like as a thank you? Isn’t that why we did this?” She took stock of her emotions. Wait, since when did she want to kiss him? Since when did she care? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He smiled and the sprinkling turned into rain. “No. We did this because- because it’s Friday night and I wanted to have some fun. And you never need to kiss a guy just because he bought you a fuckin’ movie ticket and some sour patch. Kiss me because you want to, Rey.” And with that, he turned on his heel and walked towards his car.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey watched from that spot on her porch until his headlights backed up and he drove down the street. Rey sighed and walked inside, taking off her shoes and finding her way into her room. Her head felt cloudy and her heart was racing very fast. What the fuck was happening? The school bully had taken her out on a date and now… Wait, did he just admit to wanting to kiss her?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She walked through the night a dozen times as she got ready for bed. Just as she was about to turn out the light, a text lit up her phone.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Goodnight, Rey.</em>
  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The Narc and The Brute</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mondays are never boring.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The weekend had passed more slowly than any others that Rey could remember in recent memory. Ben had been off at a party on Saturday night, and Sunday he was at a small local Tennis tournament. He had invited her to come watch, but she had made plans with Poe and Finn to do some community service hours at the nearby park.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She had never looked forward to Monday before.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey was sitting in her respectable first-row seat in her Shakespeare class, sipping on her coffee and flipping through her copy of <em>Cymbeline</em>. She had about a hundred sticky notes around the edges of her text and she was underlining the important ones. She really wished that she could just write in the margins like her books at home. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She peeked up at the doorway and saw a familiar dark shape walking through the doorway. Today, he had a red flannel under his jacket and skinny jeans, and his eyes were covered by a pair of dark aviators. He tilted his head down as he walked by her desk, subtly rapping his knuckles on her desk and winking at her. Had to keep up appearances, after all. She watched as he performed his handshakes and greetings with the other troublemakers at the back of the class.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mr. Jinn stood up from his desk in the corner and walked to the center of the room. “Good morning, class!” The class responded with a half-hearted <em>good morning</em>. Looks like she wasn’t the only one that needed her coffee. He made them repeat it until they gave him some kind of energetic response. “Alright, your homework was to read the first two scenes of act two. How did everyone do?” Everyone gave a positive noise in response. He cocked an eyebrow and smirked. “Then how about a lightning quiz?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ugh. Mr. Jinn’s lightning quizzes <em>sucked</em>. He chose kids at random and asked them questions. If anyone got one wrong, then everyone had to take a written quiz. And somehow, someone in the class always forgot to read the SparkNotes for that days reading.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Caleb, what does Iachmo steal from Imogen?”<br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The bracelet that Posthumus gave her.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good. Trillia, what game does Cloten lose?”<br/><br/>“He loses at a game of bowling. Badly.”<br/><br/>The class snickered at that. “Excellent. Ben, what does Iachmo do in order to prove Imogen’s adultery?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben took off his sunglasses and thought a moment. “Well… He hides in a trunk, goes through her stuff, steals the bracelet, and looks at her boobs.” He ended the sentence with a mocking grin. The class roared with laughter. Even Rey had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing. Ben shot her a smile that made her cheeks hot, and she turned back to the front of the room.<br/><br/>After the laughter died down, Mr. Jinn folded his arms and leaned against his desk. “Looks like one of you will be taking this quiz.” The class <em>oooh</em>’d as Mr. Jinn smacked the paper on Ben’s desk pointedly before returning to the front of the room.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The rest of class was pretty easy, and the hour passed by like it was nothing. They read the next scene in class with a few students acting it out. Rey was quick to leave, but found Ben was hot on her heels.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do you like that class?” The question was of genuine interest. She was a bit taken aback by him talking to her, but he played it off as if it were nothing, so she did too.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shakespeare? Of course,” she replied. She held up her copy full of sticky notes as if to make a point.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Really?” He questioned, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. “Not too dirty for you? All that talk of <em>penetrating</em> and <em>fingering</em> and-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She smacked him with her book playfully. “I’ll see you at rehearsal. Idiot.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He smiled but headed off down a different hallway. She watched, but frowned as kids moved aside to let him pass. He was still scary Ben. Still the school bully. Kids didn’t like <em>looking</em> at the kid, let alone talking to him. She passively wondered if people would think of her as brave. Maybe not.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">———</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey yawned as she watched her fellow actors on stage. It was one of the few scenes without her or Ben, and it needed work. It was a lot of underclassmen, so she wasn’t entirely surprised, but it was somewhat tedious. Thanks to Ben, she was mostly off-book now, and she swore by the end of this she would know not only her own lines, but everyone else’s.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She looked down at her phone.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>These guys couldn’t act if they tried.</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Be nice, Ben. They’re just babies.</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>It wouldn’t kill them to emote a little. Or project???<br/><br/></em>She stifled a small giggle. <em>Thank God we still have four more weeks.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Wanna come over tonight? Chinese food? We can even watch one of your dumb reality shows.</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She made a face. <em>Hey. Only I can call them dumb.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>I can’t wait to see if Eliza gets her just desserts. Dumb cunt.</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">God, Rey realized, she really was rubbing off on him. Wait… were they best friends? No, no, they had their groups of friends. He was just a… new friend. Just a sweet, considerate, good guy. Friend. Guy friend.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her face was still burning as she got called up to perform the next scene. She shook it off and threw her script off to the side of the stage carefully. The set construction for this scene hadn’t been done yet, so they were pretending. She stood on a chair, pretending it was the porch of her family farm.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What are you doing here?” She chided angrily. “I told you I never wanted to see you again.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben put his hands up in innocence. “Lyssa, I swear, you’ve got it all wrong-“<br/><br/>“I don’t want to hear another lying word out of your mouth, Henry David Richardson. You done wronged me,” she sniffled, turning her back to him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben walked towards her and frowned, escalating. “What do you want me to do? Get on my hands and knees and beg you for forgiveness? Beg the lord for forgiveness?” He did just that, leaning his torso back to yell at the sky. “Forgive me father, for I have sinned!”<br/><br/>“I want you to be a man, Henry! Be a man!” She stomped her foot and pretended to hold onto the railing that wasn’t there.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben paused and ran offstage to grab another chair, and without missing a beat, set it right next to hers. The rest of the ensemble laughed as he continued the scene. “You want a man? Here I am. I did lie to you - I never owned a farm in my life. I don’t have the money I promised you. I did get in a fight with your brother and split his lip. But you know what else I did?” Ben wrapped his arm around Rey’s waist. “I loved you, Lyssa. I love you more than any man ever loved a woman. And I’m not letting you go.”<br/><br/>Mrs. Amidala stood at the edge of the stage, peering over her script. “And then the kiss-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey blacked out for a moment, but then her lips were on Ben’s. She felt him tense in surprise but lean into it, holding her gently at the waist. Rey faintly heard the whoops and hollers over her own deafening heartbeat. Fuck, her brain was going ten thousand miles a minute. Did she just kiss Ben? Like, she pulled him in to kiss her? His lips were so soft, and much bigger than she expected. Holy shit, this was her first kiss. And it was somehow… perfect? He was so gentle and he smelled good and fuck it, he was attractive and-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The kiss ended suddenly. The kiss felt like it was a thousand years long, but it couldn’t have been more than three seconds. The expression on Ben’s face was photo-worthy. He looked happy, confused, concerned… Most of all, he looked like he wanted to kiss her again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey had a line. She had a line. What the fuck was the line? She cleared her throat. “That’s all I ever needed you to say, Henry. I-“<br/><br/>A freshman ran onstage with a pitchfork. “Lyssa! Henry! The MacGuffin’s barn is on fire!” The three of them ran offstage, Ben’s hand still tightly linked with her own.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mrs. Amidala clapped and was about to speak, but looked at her watch. “Oh! It’s nearly 5:30. Thank you all for another excellent rehearsal, and I will see you tomorrow. Remember, I expect all of you off-book for act one!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey emerged from her place offstage and hurried to her book-bag. Her lips were still tingling from the feeling of the kiss and her hand felt somehow empty and hollow without Ben’s in it. What the fuck was happening to her? She couldn’t look at anyone right now. Not Finn’s wounded puppy expression. Not Poe’s distasteful glare. Not Rose’s worried face. Hell, not even Ben’s confused look. She simply shoved everything in her backpack and ran out the side door.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A knot formed in her throat as she looked around desperately for somewhere to hide. Thoughts of getting home vanished as she ran into the band room. Dozens of chairs and music stands littered the open space. The back wall was filled with large cages filled with instruments. The tears started welling up and a light attracted her gaze. There was a small closet with a light on in the back corner. Hurrying into it, she sat down and curled up, crying.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Why the fuck did she do that? In front of everyone? She didn’t even mean to do it. She promised Ben that they would talk about this before they did it. They had agreed to work through it in private. And her first kiss, in front of everyone? In the moment it felt good, but looking back… How pathetic. And Finn and Poe looked so upset at her. No wonder, they had both been tormented by Ben for years. How could she do this? Everyone was going to hate her. She should drop out. She should hide in here forever-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">At that, she heard a small soft voice from inside the band room. “Rey? Rey, are you in here?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey tried to keep quiet, but sniffled and gasped for air as she continued to cry. Rose appeared in the doorway and immediately fell to her knees in front of Rey. “Rey! Oh, honey, you’re crying.” Rose petted her hair and put her hand on Rey’s knee. “What happened, hun? You were doing great and you just ran off. Everyone was worried about you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey sniffed and tried to brush off her tears. Fuck, she never cried, why was she doing it now? “Everyone’s going to hate me.”<br/><br/>Rose sighed and settled in next to Rey, pulling her into a hug and rubbing her back. “No one hates you, babe! Why would you say that?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I kissed the school bully, Rose. Poe and Finn hate me - I saw their faces. And-“ She sobbed again, burying her face in Rose’s shoulder. She and Rose had gotten close over the past two years and she had consoled the smaller girl a dozen times over stressful situations. It felt weird but oddly fitting that she was returning the favor.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Rey. No one hates you. The boys are being dumb and jealous and not thinking straight,” she assured, sitting up so Rey had to look at her. “You’re stressed out, Rey. You’ve been going non-stop recently. Student council meetings, mid-terms, community service. You haven’t let yourself relax at all. You need to breathe, Rey. We’re your friends. We’re here to help you.” Rey felt her tears slow down and Rose brushed them away with her thumbs. “If any of those guys give you trouble, I’ve got your back. But they love you, Rey. So do I.” She kissed Rey’s forehead sweetly, and Rey couldn’t help but laugh.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rose stood up and helped Rey to her feet. “You need to take a break. No studying, no working, no nothing during vacation, okay?” Rey nodded and sniffed. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rose had a point - everything was coming to a climax. Thankfully, it was Christmas break starting on Saturday. They had a mandatory rehearsal the Sunday before school started again, in two weeks, but until then she had nothing to do. Just a few more tests and essays, and she was free. One more student council meeting on Wednesday. Three more rehearsals, since Friday’s was cancelled. The show was the last weekend in January. She could do this.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She wiped her face again and went to the dressing room so Rose could help her fix her makeup and wash her face. Once she looked half-presentable again, she walked out into the lobby outside the auditorium.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Finn and Poe bounded up to her, concerned looks on their faces. “Are you okay?” They managed, in unison. Rey couldn’t help the smile whenever they said something at the same time. The group paused and laughed</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Poe put a hand on both her shoulders. “You okay, kid?” Rey nodded and her hugged her. Poe was like a big brother to her and his hugs were always warm and inviting. He had helped her through quite a few jams over their friendship. They had been in school together since Rey had moved in, but had become friends over a spin-the-bottle game at a birthday party in sixth. Every since, he was the right brain to her left brain, and she loved him for it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, we were worried, what happened?” Finn posed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey shrugged. “I guess… I’m under a lot of pressure, and it all kinda hit me.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Not surprising, since you had to kiss that ogre,” Finn huffed, ending his sentence with a laugh.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey froze up and her gaze shifted to Ben, leaning against the wall and looking at his phone.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rose cut her off before she could respond. “Hey, let's cool it, okay?” She quipped, clearly trying to keep the peace. “Rey’s got some stuff to deal with. And she’s <em>going home</em>, right?” Rose’s tone was clipped, as it always was when she was serious.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Uh, yeah, of course,” Rey lied, pulling out her phone so she didn’t have to look at them. “My dad’s picking me up. See you all tomorrow for first period free?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They all nodded and said their goodbyes, exchanging hugs and niceties, before the group exited and walked towards the parking lot. Then, it was just Ben and Rey, standing across the lobby from one another, not looking at each other at all.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a few moments of silence, Rey approached. “So… We still hanging out?” She offered a half-hearted smile.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben didn’t return it. Instead, his eyes were hard and his jaw was set as he looked at her. “I dunno, I thought your dad was picking you up.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey stepped back. “Ben, I didn’t mean it like that-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Didn’t mean it like what?” He interrupted, pocketing his phone and staring down at her. “What, am I not good enough for your fucking friends? Are you embarrassed to be hanging out with me or something?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey felt the tears prick at her eyes again as she shrunk down. “No, Ben, please-“<br/><br/>“Nah, Rey. That was fucking cold. You got what you needed from me, right? So I don’t have to be a weight for you to carry around anymore,” he spat acidly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey felt the tears spill over and her face grow red. “Shut the FUCK up, Ben!” Ben didn’t respond, but stayed angry. “I’m under enough pressure and I don’t need to be yelled at and you’re one of my best friends and I don’t want to worry about losing you too and I’m sorry that I lied and that I kissed you and-“ She started to sob again. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She stopped as she felt Ben’s arms around her and his hand rest on the back of her head, gently pressing her face into his t-shirt. He held her firmly, not too tight, and shushed her quietly. Throwing off all facades, she wrapped her arms around his waist and let herself cry for a moment or two. Fuck, this was cathartic. He just let her cry, all wrapped up in his jacket and his arms and his cologne. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As she quieted, he tilted her head up. “Hey. I’m sorry I got aggressive. I should have just talked to you. I’m not good at feelings - you know that. I didn’t realize… I didn’t want to make you cry. Twice.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her lips grew into a small smile as she wiped her eyes. “You didn’t make me cry the first time.”<br/><br/>“Good,” he chuckled, “I didn’t think I was <em>that</em> bad a kisser.” They both laughed and he smoothed her hair with his hand.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey sniffed and frowned again. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell my friends I was spending time with you. I wasn’t sure if we were telling everyone that we were friends,” she explained, putting a hand on his chest. Being this close to him was really comforting somehow. “I know your friends might not like it, like mine didn’t.”<br/><br/>He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter to me what they think. I like spending time with you. Even if you are a grade-A, ass-kissing, goody-two-shoes narc,” he teased.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And I like you too, even if you are a brute,” she replied, playing punching him in the chest. “So, can we actually talk to each other now, instead of texting during class?”<br/><br/>He nodded. “If you don’t think I’ll scare everyone off.” He let her go and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jacket.<br/><br/>She took his arm and linked it with hers as they walked towards the door outside. “If you don’t think I’ll ruin your reputation.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. What Are We Doing?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ben doesn't believe in this "emotional restraint" thing.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey, y'all. Thank you all so much for the kudos and the comments! It means the world to me. I hope this story brings a little brightness to your day!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Aw, fuck Eliza!” Ben yelled, throwing a piece of popcorn at the screen. “Bitch doesn’t deserve him!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey lost it and fell back onto the couch, wiping tears from her eyes. Watching Ben Solo get heated over The Bachelor was the funniest thing she had ever seen. She even purposely “forgot” to watch it on Friday so they could watch it together. The combination of his large physique and ominous presence mixed with the shallowness of the television show made for better entertainment than anything the show runners could have come up with.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He shot a look over to Rey, trying to contain her giggles, and flashed a large grin. “Bitch better not get a rose next week or I’m gonna fucking riot.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey sat up, wiping her eyes and trying to stifle her laughter. “You are just full of surprises, Ben Solo.” She inhaled deeply and composed herself. “So, are we rehearsing, doing homework, what? Because I have a shit ton of work to do this week.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben shrugged. “Well, let’s run through a scene and then we can work on our astronomy presentations. I’ll drive you home around ten.” It was rarely a question over what they would do when it came to him. Rey wasn’t sure how she felt about that, but she liked that he took charge.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She stood up. “Okay, but off-book. No cheating.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He narrowed his eyes and smirked. “You’re on, little lady.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They took their spots, standing on the floor behind his couch. They had defined the couch as “the audience” and had fallen into a routine over the invisible boundaries. Rey had to admit, Ben was a good actor. They had run this scene a dozen times now, mostly in the privacy of his basement. At this point, they had the blocking down to an intricate dance - the aggression, the teasing, the emotion, all ever-present. They had decided to play a lot with the levels of their bodies - kneeling, standing, sitting on set pieces - and tended to move around each other in circles. Their characters were constantly chasing each other, so it only seemed appropriate.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Understand what, exactly?” Rey recited, feeling as if this were as natural as anything. She barely even had to remember her blocking for this scene now - it was second nature.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben slid into her arms, holding her. “That I love you, babygirl. Don’t you understand that? I love you.” His head dipped and suddenly he was much too close. God, his lips were so goddamn close to hers. A few inches, no more than that. Rey could barely feel the ground under her feet when he held her like this. His big brown eyes traced over her features. “…Can I…?”<br/><br/>She blushed red hot, but she nodded. Better get used to this since the leash already snapped.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It wasn’t like the first time. She felt her heart in her throat and could barely focus on anything but him, but time didn’t warp. His kiss was gentle but firm against her lips, just like his hands on her waist. She felt his lips move just a touch against her own and it was like striking a fire inside of her. He didn’t stop kissing her; in fact, he held her tighter against his frame. She could barely register her own actions as her hands tangled in his hair. Fuck, kissing him was like nothing else in the world. She only vaguely noticed when her back gently met the wall and his hand moved to cup the nape of her neck. HIs lips were moving slowly but rhythmically against hers and it felt oh, so goddamn good and natural and fuck, this was kinda hot-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His tongue brushed against her lips and she snapped out of it. Wait a minute. She pulled away from his lips and found herself still so tantalizingly close. They had moved to be against the wall, with his form crushing into her in an indescribably delicious way. She looked him over frantically, her hazel eyes like deer in the headlights, and she felt her heart hammer against her ribcage. “Ben… What are we doing?”<br/><br/>His lips parted but no sound escaped them, his eyes searching her again. “I… Don’t… Know…” He took a step back from her and cocked his head slightly, searching over her form. Like a lightbulb had lit over his head, his posture relaxed and a small, easy smile graced his lips. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey felt her body shake like a leaf as she rushed over to the couch, grabbing her coat. “I… I should go, Ben,” she started, unwilling to look at him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben leapt over the couch and grabbed onto her coat, lifting it over her head and out of reach. “No, you don’t, we’re not done here.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey shook her head and jumped to grab it back from him. “Ben, I really think I should go home. We shouldn’t have done that!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You can’t run away forever!” Ben argued, blocking her path to the stairs.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey furrowed her eyebrows. “I’m not running away from anything!” She attempted to push past him, but there wasn’t much hope as she was half his size.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben physically used his body to block her way, placing one hand on either railing and stooping down to her level. “You’re running away from the fact that you want to kiss me.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey stopped struggling and paused. “I am not. I-I do not. I don’t…”<br/><br/>He looked into her eyes in a way he had never done before. Like he was about to lay some universal truth on her. There was an emotion in his eyes she couldn’t quite place, but it was there, deep in him. “Rey, it’s okay to want to kiss me. It’s okay to like kissing in general.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey shook her head. “I’m not that kind of girl. Good girls don’t go around kissing people.”<br/><br/>“So you’d deny yourself your own sexual exploration, on a very surface level, might I add, just to uphold some status that you didn’t even give yourself?” Ben argued, face stony. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey was shocked. She knew Ben was smart, but… She had never heard him say anything particularly intelligent before. That was a lot of precise words. This felt like manipulation, almost, but she was so taken aback that she couldn’t help but continue to listen.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He caught her surprised look. “I’m a believer of self-exploration, and I have an interest in sex as a tool for knowing who we are. Physical touch isn’t something dirty, Rey.” He paused to gather his thoughts as he looked down at his feet, but looked up again as he found the words. “You don’t have to kiss me again if you don’t want to. But I’m not going to let you lie to me or yourself.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey stepped back from him and he relaxed his stance, moving to stand beside her. She could run up the stairs right now and pretend none of this ever happened. But… He had a good point. She really liked kissing him. She was scared of something she couldn’t quite place. Perhaps it was the unknown. Or that she didn’t know how she felt about Ben. Or that she wouldn’t know when to stop. She was absolutely awful about knowing her own limits in every other part of her life. She turned and looked up at him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…I’d like to stay, if that’s okay.”</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">His serious expression melted away to a smile and he bowed his head a bit to look at her. “I would want nothing else.” She felt an uncharacteristic warmness coming from him before he walked back towards the couch and flopped down on it. “C’mere and show me your presentation.”</span><br/><br/>Rey couldn’t help the way her lips turned up as she flopped down next to him and grabbed her laptop. She found her presentation on the desktop and tilted her laptop so he could see it. Before she could even start speaking, he carefully grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to sit directly beside him, her body touching his. He snatched her laptop and put in in his own lap and kept his arm around her back so she was cuddling into his chest.</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ben!” She protested as she squirmed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Get over it. Now gimme your presentation.” He made the slideshow fullscreen and didn’t say anything else.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In spite of herself, Rey settled down to rest her head where his shoulder met his chest. He was warm and comfortable and he smelled like leather and petrichor</span>
  <span class="s2">. As she started to speak, she felt his head gently rest on top of her own. She hated the way her heart felt like a flower opening as he did that. Stupid Ben.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Lapdogs and Leashes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ben isn't the only manipulator in school.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey carefully applied her mascara in the tiny mirror in Ben’s car. She snuck a peek over to him. Half-awake and barely moving, he sipped at his coffee and scrolled through his phone, looking blasé and bored as ever. He was being nice by waiting for her to finish her makeup before walking in together.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">On the drive home the night before, the two made a plan for letting everyone know about their new alliance. If they tried being too subtle, everyone would assume there was something to hide and use it against them. By walking in, together, with coffee and talking to each other, everyone would see them together but have no reason to suspect anything. Seniors made new friends all the time - Being the top of the food chain on campus meant that there were very few social restrictions.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ready?” She asked, book bag over her shoulder and coffee in hand.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Pocketing his phone, he looked over her face. “Hold on, you missed something.” He moved up close to her, brushing away something on her cheek. Then, with a quick glance through his windshield to make sure the coast was clear, he kissed her lips as chastely as ever.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She pulled away, her face crimson. “Ben!” She shoved him playfully and they both got out of the car.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He sipped at his coffee and shrugged. “What? Gives you a nice natural blush, I think.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That was the other thing. Last night, Ben had kissed her outside of her house. It wasn’t the crushing intensity he had had in his basement, but it was a sweeter sort of kiss. She hadn’t argued with it. No, she had rather enjoyed it, despite the face she had made at him as he pulled away. But he simply laughed and shrugged it off, like he always did. Rey wasn’t quite sure what any of it meant, but now wasn’t the time to ponder it. Ben was a friend. Who she kissed sometimes. And… that had to be fine.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The two walked in together with Ben holding the door for her. Immediately, the crowd parted as he walked in. Rey felt like a president or a celebrity with her body guard. Sipping at her coffee and keeping her eyes mostly at her phone, she noticed the wide eyes of the freshmen and the whispering words of her classmates. She tried vehemently not to care. The school president and resident bully exchange a few words of pleasantries as they walked down towards the cafeteria, where he playfully squeezed her shoulder before finding his own pack of friends.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Rey spotted her usual gang at a table in the corner. Most of them were gawking at her, but she ignored it and grabbed a chair. “Morning, guys! What’s up?”</span><br/><br/>Sputtering, Finn gestured to the cafeteria door and then to her. “Uh, you?!?”</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, what the fuck was that, Rey?” Poe snapped, eyes wide. “Since when do you talk to Ben Solo?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She had to play this cool. She shrugged. “You know. With the play and everything, we’ve gotten to know each other. He offered me a ride to school and I said yes.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What’s the big deal? Rey-“ Rising from his seat, Poe’s voice started to get louder.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Finn grabbed his shoulder and forced him to sit back down. Finn hated making a scene if he could help it. “Rey!” He quieted his voice. “Rey, what the hell? Ben Solo is the enemy, remember?” Poe nodded as Finn continued. “He’s been picking on us since middle school! And now you’re - what? - getting coffee with the guy?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Pangs of guilt struck Rey in the gut. She had seen this argument coming, but it hurt somehow more in real life than it had in her head. She had promised Ben she would really try to make this work. He mattered to her too and she refused to pick sides on this one. “Yes.” The word made the group quiet and visibly deflate. She continued, “Me and Ben are friends now. I know, shocking, but it’s true. He’s promised not to fuck with any of you any more. If he does, we’re not friends.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Poe cocked an eyebrow. “That sounds more like a deal with a devil rather than a friendship.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">God, he had no idea. “Maybe it’s a friendship with a devil. Either way, the play gets done, you all are safe, I have a new friend. I really don’t see a downside to this,” Rey said cooly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tired of holding her tongue, Rose finally spoke up. “Listen, we just don’t want you getting mixed up in his world, okay?” Rey hadn’t considered that. People could think that she was doing drugs, drinking booze, and being a menace now that Ben Solo had a grip on her. “He’s bad news, Rey. And you’re one of the good kids.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There it was. Good. Good girl, good kid, good student. That was never a choice she had actually made for herself. Ben was right, people <em>were</em> telling her who she was. She wasn’t upset about it per say, but she couldn’t help but hear his voice in her head.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>You’d deny yourself exploration just to uphold a status?</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was nothing wrong with being good. But there was nothing wrong with being friends with Ben either. Ben wasn’t even a bad kid as far as she could tell. He was a fine kid. She hadn’t seen him even smoke a cigarette when she was around. Actually, now that she really thought about it, had she personally ever seen him smoke or drink? Or steal from anyone? She had seen him bully kids, like shoving them into lockers, calling them names, or throwing their stuff all over the ground. But was he really worse than any run-of-the-mill schoolyard bully?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She had to stay even-tempered. “Rose… Guys. I’m still me. I’m not changing anything about myself because of him. I’m still same ol’ Rey, goody-two-shoes for life. Scouts honor.” She watched their faces range from relief to suspicion, but there were nods all around. “Besides, he’s not that bad anymore. I think he worked a lot of shit out of his system.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">———</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The sound of skull meeting locker is an unmistakable noise. Everyone knows exactly what the sound is, and everyone knows to back up. At that moment, Ben’s face was inches from some poor freshman’s, teeth bared and the smaller boy’s t-shirt threatening to rip. Behind Ben, Hux was gracefully dumping out the kid’s backpack, and Phaedra was crushing the kid’s e-cig under her heel.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The <em>fuck</em> did you say to her, freshman?” Ben bellowed, fist threatening to knock his lights out.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I-I-I just asked her to move so I could get to my locker-“ He squeaked. Poor kid’s balls hadn’t even dropped yet.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You NEVER ask a senior to move, dipshit. Time to learn your place, little maggot!” Ben roared, rearing back his arm. Cringing against the locker, the freshman winced, praying to whatever God he believed in.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ben. Solo. STOP.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The voice was younger than any of the onlookers expected. Stepping out from the crowd that had gathered to watch, Rey cocked her hip and looked at the trio with pursed lips and expectant eyes. Ben lowered the boy to the ground, but didn’t let him go yet.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As Rey moved closer, Ben let him go and took a step back from the lockers. Rey’s eyes were only on the kid. Smoothing out his shirt, she gestured. “Get your shit and get to class, okay?” Her tone was firm, but caring. As the kid started to protest about his broken e-cig, Rey held up a hand. “You should be grateful. Possession of one of these on campus is a week’s suspension and a mark on your permanent record. Zero tolerance policy. Now, get going, next period is starting soon.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As the younger boy gathered his books and papers into his backpack, Rey turned to Ben. “Send your backup away. This is between you and me.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The look in Ben’s eyes was hard, but surprisingly grateful. He nodded over both shoulders and Phaedra and Huxley walked away, shooting deathly glances over their shoulders. And now there they were, hero versus villain, having a stand off in the hallway. Rey didn’t want to be doing this, but Ben had broken a promise and she would have to be strict. Otherwise, his influence over the school would rise and hers would shrink. She had to make an example of him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The crowd was still gathered, awaiting with baited breath for this conversation. Turning on his heel, Ben snarled at the crowd, “Get the fuck outta here! Nothing to see here!” As if he had flipped a switch, the crowd dispersed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey nodded towards a nearby stairwell. At the bottom was a door leading outside - a place they could talk freely. He didn’t say anything to her, but the two marched towards the fresh air like it was a punishment. When they got out there, before Rey could say anything, Ben continued to walk, gesturing to a nearby shed perched by the edge of the woods that surrounded their school. Wary, she followed, only to find a small bench with a two dozen burnt-out cigarettes around it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The janitors come out here after school to smoke. I use it as a place to think,” he stated, sitting down and looking straight ahead. He was refusing to look at her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Exasperated, she sighed and sat down, her head in her hands. “Ben… What the fuck, Ben? We just decided to tell everyone that we’re friends and you pull this shit?” She wasn’t usually one to swear, but Ben had a way of getting under her skin.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He called me weak,” Ben replied, voice still even and robotic.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Who, the freshman?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, not the damn freshman. Huxley.” Ben stood up and punched the back of the shed hard, the reverberations causing the bench to shake. “He called me weak and powerless and called me your lap dog!” He punched it again, hissing at the pain.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey’s eyes shifted back and forth as she attempted to understand. “You didn’t want to hit that kid. You thought you had to.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben looked down at her through the tendrils of hair falling over his face. “You aren’t the only one with a reputation to hold on to, you know.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit, he was right. Again. She hated that he was right so often. Ben couldn’t just suddenly go straight after being seen with her. Correctly, it would look like he was doing it for her. And beyond being called her lapdog, it could be seen as a romantic gesture. The thought of that made Rey’s stomach twist, but she refocused. There would have to be a reason for him to go straight. And it would have to be a more gradual change, too make it look like he was actually trying.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ben,” she tried, standing up to meet him at his height. His eyes were cast downward, staring daggers into the dirt. “Ben,” she repeated. After getting no response, she ducked under his outstretched arm, still touching the shed, and put her hand on his jaw. He looked up and she felt her heart do that flower thing again when he looked at her. His arm lowered and his shoulders relaxed as he stared at her. “Ben, I have an idea.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">———</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben walked through the doors to the library, looking boiling mad with just a touch of defeat in him. He threw his backpack under the table where Phaedra and Huxley were sitting, pouring over their laptops. He leaned down with his fists on the table and looked straight ahead, not connecting his gaze with either of them.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m fucking dead.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They both raised their heads in interest. “What?” Huxley asked, closing his laptop.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The little twat snitched on me to Mr. Windu. He says if I step one more toe out of line, I’m expelled,” he reported, eyes still forward.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Phaedra gasped and put her hand over one of his fists. “What the fuck? Are you serious?” Her eyes were wide and her red-stained lips were parted in shock. Ben simply nodded.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“For a vice principal, that guy really has a power trip,” Huxley said. “Fuck, dude, I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben finally glanced at both of them. “It’s fine, I guess. Tennis just won’t have a team captain this year,” he shrugged sadly, letting out a sigh as he pulled over a chair to sit down.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Woah, woah, woah,” Huxley shoved his books to the side and turned to square up with Ben. “You cannot leave the team. We’re on a six-year streak and I’m gonna lose my scholarship if we don’t make it to state finals.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Phaedra nodded vigrously. “Yeah, no way. Like, if you get expelled, I’ll have to walk at graduation with <em>Snaggletooth</em>.” Snaggletooth was their nickname for Osi Sobeck, a bottom of the food chain kid with the worst teeth in school. Ben was the only one separating her name from his when looking alphabetically, and there was a school rumor that that was the reason she was friends with him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay, if we’re gonna make this work, we gotta make some changes. The way I see it, we can fuck <em>with</em> kids - like pulling pranks and mouthing off and shit - but we can’t <em>fuck ‘em up</em>. Like, no more beating kids up or taking their stuff or whatever,” he explained, eyes shooting back and forth between them. “At least, I can’t.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Huxley nodded, “No, man, us too. If he’s on the hunt for you, we’re probably next.” The already pale teen looked almost green at the thought.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The blonde nodded vigorously. “Yeah. And if I get in trouble, we can’t have parties at my place anymore. Fuck that little cretin.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The trio agreed to the new terms, and Phaedra began laying out her plans for her New Year’s party. Phaedra was the stupid kind of rich, the kind that made Ben look poor. She threw elaborate parties, and the second-best, following her Halloween Ball that was so boozed up that no attendee could remember it happening, was her New Year’s party.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey had made herself hidden behind the shelves in the library, pretending to busy herself in a large textbook. She craned her head towards the shelf, listening to the conversation going on on the other side. She smiled devilishly to herself as she hid down lower behind the textbook. Thank God Ben was as good an actor offstage. They had just killed about six birds with one stone, and Ben had made it happen. That flower feeling hadn’t quite faded from her chest, and she felt it creep up to her lips to make her smile.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She caught a glance of him through the bookshelf. He looked up at her, for just a moment, and winked. Damn it, Ben.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. There's No Kissing in Baseball</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ben shows Rey she's not the only one with restraint and intelligence in this friendship.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben was staring at her. <em>Again</em>. She was beginning to find it rather annoying, actually. Since the two of them had been more… out, about their friendship, Rey had decided it was a good time for him to meet her parents. He had sheepishly said hello, opting to leave his leather jacket and sunglasses in the car and trade it for a suede winter coat with sherpa lining. He even took out his ear piercings. When Rey tried to stop him, he assured her that if he walked in looking like that, he wouldn’t be welcomed back. It was funny how many things he said never occurred to Rey.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But now he was staring at her instead of his phone, which was on the bed in front of him. Rey couldn’t quite believe that her parents had let her have him in her room - but Ben had pointed out, in hushed tones, that this was one of her secret good-girl powers: her parents never thought she could do something bad. That had sent a thrill through her that she had never felt before. Maybe… She liked having some things that were just hers. Secrets. Like the things she <em>could</em> do with Ben. Not that she ever would, but she <em>could</em>. And that felt like a superpower.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ben, what are you looking at?” She posed, peering up from her laptop.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He shifted to lie on his back instead of his side, his hands behind his head. “You.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She closed her laptop and moved it away slightly. “And why would that be?” He was the most frustrating kind of annoying. Never answering more than he was specifically asked.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Inhaling and exhaling slow, he pondered his words. “Because I want to kiss you.” He shifted to sit up, knees bent, with his arms wrapped around them loosely.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey shrugged. “So, why don’t you?” They had been exchanging pecks and chaste kisses for days now in the rare private moments they had. They had decided to spend the evening together after tonight’s rehearsal, since it was the last one before break. He wouldn’t have an excuse to steal her away tomorrow.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He moved their phones and her laptop onto her beside table and knelt in front of her. “That’s not what I meant,” he purred, dipping his head to kiss at her neck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit, shit, shit, this was new. Rey’s hands shot up to grasp at his shoulders as he laid a soft trail of kisses up her neck at a snail’s pace. Cheeks burning white-hot at the new feeling rising in her stomach, she let out a small sound as he wrapped his arms around her. Fuck, why did this feel so different? She inhaled shakily as his tongue graced her skin, tasting her quickened pulse. She had never felt his tongue before, besides that one millisecond on Monday. She didn’t have time to swallow the soft whimper as he nipped at that spot. Fuck, his teeth… She never used to <em>think</em> about these things, but now his mouth seemed like the goddamn universe to her…</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The knot in her stomach tightened and she pushed him back. As she looked at his cocked eyebrow, she bit her lower lip and avoided his face. Okay, so she was afraid. After thoroughly searching her face, Ben laid back on her bed, propped up on the pillows, and beckoned for her to come closer. She did, face still hot and avoiding his eyes, settling into his chest like it was second nature.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He stroked the hair back from her face tenderly. “What are you afraid of?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nuzzling deeper into the scent of his shirt, she managed to squeak, “Nothing.”<br/>
<br/>
“I hate it when you lie to me.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That sent a strange pang through her stomach. She didn’t like the idea of Ben hating any part of her, even the bad parts. She didn’t like the idea of Ben <em>hating</em>. She pursed her lips and pouted, thinking, pressing her face deep into his chest.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The fact was that she knew, objectively, exactly what she was afraid of. She wasn’t quite ready to admit it to herself, however. After that first kiss, they had laid down the rules of this friendship. And that’s all it was - <em>friendship</em>. But she had never wanted to kiss any of her other friends quite as much as she wanted to kiss Ben. And none of them made her head spin like he did. None of them looked at her the way he did.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Deciding to take the easiest answer of all of them, she popped her head off his chest. “I guess… I don’t want to have sex with you.” Right now, she added mentally, but she didn’t need his ego boosted.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His bark of laughter echoed off the wall and his tried to quiet himself. “Rey, I wasn’t trying to have sex with you.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She cringed into herself. Of course, he wasn’t. That would imply… A lot of things that clearly weren’t true. He was just kissing her because he liked kissing in general. A knot formed deep in her stomach at that thought. The thought that she wasn’t special to him the same way he was special to her. No, no, he’s not special! She swallowed back the lump in her throat and didn’t say anything. She knew saying no to sex was always allowed, but the way he did it made it feel like a rejection.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He continued, “Rey, you and I…”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Will only be friends, I know, she thought.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Aren’t ready for that, yet, don’t you think?” His expression was an amused one, reaching out to stroke her hair lightly. “You haven’t even had my tongue in your mouth.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A different sort of tension wound up in her at those words. Fuck, she rarely ever felt tension like this unless it was deep, deep into the night and her hormones were racking her brain. Never over the way someone talked, and certainly not a real-life human who was currently laying down in her bed. She consciously took measured breaths and shifted, still listening while trying to quell the spark he was lighting.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“There’s a couple of steps in between where we are and fucking. Quite a few, I think. Don’t you think we should be getting you used to <em>those</em> before we take on such a task?” He posed, twirling a few strands of hair around his forefinger.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was very little she could do about the need in her eyes as she looked up from his chest and asked, “Like what?” She was playing a dangerous game here, but he had awoken a few bad-girl tendencies in her, and one of them was pressing the limits once in a while.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He quirked an eyebrow, but smirked. “Oh, you don’t know? I guess I keep forgetting how much of a <em>virgin</em> you are,” he teased. She didn’t let herself react - she knew this was just to see if he could get a rise out of her. No, no, she needed to surpass his expectations here. When she didn’t even make a facial expression, he continued, “Well… Let me show you. You trust me?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In that exact moment, Rey probably would have jumped off a cliff if he had asked her to, but she nodded. “Yeah… Why?”<br/>
<br/>
“I swear to God, if any of this freaks you out, I’ll stop and never do it again,” he promised, before shifting down on the bed to lie directly beside her with his arm underneath her.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Rey tried her best not to squirm as she realized this was the first time they had ever laid next to each other. Like, not propped up, not on a couch, just real face-to-face… intimacy. It took every ounce of her strength to stay still and not squeeze her thighs together for some relief. Ben was just so large and strong and intoxicating when he got this close. Did he even know what he did to her?</span><br/>
<br/>
“See, it’s like baseball. That’s how most people put it.” That was an odd metaphor for all this, but she’d listen to him say absolutely anything if he kept holding her like this. “First base is French Kissing… Kissing with tongue,” he explained, eyes narrowing as he tried to gauge her knowledge on anything. His free hand traveled to her jaw and his thumb softly brushed over her cheek.</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you, I know what French kissing is,” she quipped, eyes still wide and rapt with attention.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good. That’s step one, which I was trying to show you earlier. If you liked doing that with me, we could move on to second base.” His voice had dropped to a very low, whisper-like purr. The deep tone of his voice would normally make her brain go quiet, but when he was like this… It was like they were the only two left in the world.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dropping his forehead to press against her own, he let his lips graze over hers as he continued to explain. “Second base is… this.” His free hand moved down to ghost over her throat, her collarbone, her chest, and lightly, with the deftest of movements, squeezed at her breast. It was just once, a tease, before he rested it on her ribs just below. “They call it ‘feeling up’, but that term feels… impersonal.” He had a way of stretching out just the right silences.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hypnotized by the sound of his voice, Rey was frozen in her position as he hand danced along her flesh. As the gasp left her lips, she immediately regretted it. That smug, self-satisfied look on Ben’s face was enough to make her hate everything about herself. She should tell him to stop. That would be the smart, good-girl thing to do. But then… They hadn’t <em>really</em> done anything.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Attempting to hide his smirk, he continued. His lips were so close to Rey’s, she had a difficult time deciding whether to focus on them or his hand as it continued downward. “And if you liked doing that…” His hand ghosted down her side, her hip, and rested between her legs, on her inner thigh. “I’d finger you.” His thumb stroked the curve where her thigh met her most private place, just twice, before moving down an inch and squeezing her leg. “That’s third base.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey was so wound up, she wasn’t sure what she would do if he were to kiss her. While every thought had a pang of fear, there was also a certain tone of excitement and impatience. Now he was venturing into new territory. Now she should really stop him. But… their clothes were on. And there wasn’t even lustful intent here, just educational. And he had stopped rubbing her thigh, so the part where it was sinful was over, technically. Even if half of her wanted to scream at him to continue.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey couldn’t stay quiet for one more second. “And what about fourth base?” She blurted out. He tone was needier than she had meant it to be.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He smirked, running his tongue slowly over the edge of his teeth. The fire in his eyes was a smolder as his hand moved from her thigh to her hip to her ass in a smooth motion. Suddenly, he pulled her hips to meet his own and ground his hips onto her. “This,” he breathed, eyes closing and letting out a low, breathy growl against her lips. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His forbidden hips ground against hers, over and over, not quite kissing her, and her hips met his own. Fuck, now her body was making decisions without her. Abruptly, he turned them so he was on top of her, forearm beside her head as he still gripped her hip. If everything else he had done was lighting a match, then seeing Ben Solo - wild hair and bared teeth, above her as he ground his hips down - was the firework exploding.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey couldn’t stop herself as she reached up to gasp at his hair and pull him down to kiss her. Their hips were still moving against one another desperately, and her lips were melted into his own, when he pulled away to kneel over her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She <em>despised</em> that fucking triumphant smirk. “I turn you on.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was a statement, not a question, and the heat slowly started to cool. “You do not!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, I do…” His eyes traced her with hunger and need, from the top of her head to where his hips met her own. “Fuuuuck, you are so hot when you’re turned on.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I am not- Wait.” She sat up, supporting herself with her hands. The fire had been doused to embers by his arrogance, but a triumph of her own was blooming in her chest. “You just called me hot.” His smirk faltered and his eyes widened a hair. “…I turn YOU on.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He ran a hand through his hair and shrugged, just the smallest movement of his shoulders. “Guess you do.” He smirk twisted into a grin as he reached a hand out to cup the back of her neck. “Now, since you are now aware of all the steps we would need to actually fuck, on top of actually being away from prying eyes, can I fucking kiss you like I want to?” She hated sincere Ben as much as she hated sexy Ben - they both made her insides fumble. One between her legs and one deep in her chest. “And… yes, I think you’re hot and you turn me on. So let me kiss you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">How could she say anything but yes?</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Bruise Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Christmas gifts aren't always wrapped up in a box.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey yawned and curled up against her pillow, eyes slowly beginning to close. Today had been such a nice day. Opening Christmas presents with her parents, church service, a little party in the afternoon… She had even gotten to cut out some time for a long bubble bath and face mask. She had a tingling warmth in her skin that only baths seemed to give her. And it was nearly midnight… She needed to rest…</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Bzzzzt. Buzzzt.</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey groaned and opened her eyes again. Who the fuck was texting her? She had just seen Finn, Poe, and Rose that afternoon for the party. They had done their annual “bad santa” exchange, where they all bought the worst gift they could find and exchanged them at random. She had been stuck with a poop emoji hat that Rose had found - which was fair, since she had given Poe the ugliest porcelain clown doll she could find at the thrift store.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Bzzzzt. Bzzzzt.</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey groaned and picked up her phone. Exaggerating her groggy voice, she answered, “Hello?”<br/><br/>“Don’t tell me you’re already asleep.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The sound of Ben’s voice jolted her awake. He had never called her before, and his voice carried slightly differently over the phone. She sat up, running a hand through her hair. “Ben? W-what’s up?” She cursed the small stutter in her voice. Jesus, he wasn’t even in front of her and she was anxious about it. What the fuck was happening to her?<br/><br/>He laughed over the phone. “Sorry to wake you, princess.” And now he was using pet names. Damn Ben, why not just light a match and melt her some more? “Look outside.”<br/><br/>Rey slowly got out of bed, hissing at the cold floor on her bare feet. She went to her window and squinted down at the street. There, under the street light, standing in four inches of iced-over snow, was a familiar silhouette.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll meet you at your back door.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The phone beeped as he hung up and she watched the silhouette move and gracefully launch itself over her fence, into her backyard. She rushed downstairs, carefully to keep her movements quiet. Her parents had gotten a bit wine-drunk at dinner and had gone to bed around ten, leaving her to her own self-care night. As she hit the bottom of the stairs, she saw his pale face through the window of her back door. Opening the door as quietly as possible, he slipped in like a shadow and raised a finger to his lips.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ben, what-” she started, but he shushed her and quieted her lips with his own. The kiss was quick and playful. She stared, head cocked, as he undid his boots and hung up his coat. He had a box under one arm, wrapped up with brown paper. Before she could look too long at it, he gestured up towards her room silently. She had a feeling he would go up there whether she agreed to it or not.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She rushed him up the stairs and into her room, quietly closing and locking the door behind them. If anyone woke up and tried to come it, taking the time to unlock the door would give him time to hide. As she did it, he smirked arrogantly and sat down on her bed, looking at the surroundings.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She marched toward him, mouth opening to chide him for visiting so late, when he stuck the package out towards her unceremoniously. “Merry Christmas.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The package was simple, wrapped in brown paper and twine. Rey stared at it for a moment before taking it in her hands. “I don’t have anything for you. I didn’t know I’d be seeing you today.”<br/><br/>Ben looked at the floor. Was he… embarrassed? “That’s not what you’re supposed to say when you get a gift.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey winced. “Right! I’m sorry… Thank you, so much,” she said, moving to sit beside him with the present in her lap. “You didn’t have to get me anything… But you did. Thank you.” She smiled widely at him and leaned over the gift to wrap her arms around him. It was rare that they just hugged like this. It was awkward to hug over a package, but she liked the warmth he gave off and she liked his arms around her, even if it was just a moment.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well? Open it,” he goaded, gesturing.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So bossy,” she teased, undoing the twine and carefully unwrapping the package. Inside was a plain white box, sealed with tape. What the fuck did he get her? After undoing the tape, Rey gasped quietly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was a tan knit cardigan. She held it up and grinned at it. It would hang down to her thighs, just like she liked them to. And… fuck, it was so soft. Unable to resist, she snuggled her face down into the material. It was so cozy she couldn’t have fallen asleep on the thing.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You like it?” He posed awkwardly, clearly unsure. Ben Solo, unsure of himself. Tonight just kept getting stranger.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I love it! Oh, this is so perfect,” she assured, slipping it on over her PJs.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Really?” He asked, perking up. “Good. I saw you were always keeping your thick coat on in class, and I figured you could use something to keep warm.”<br/><br/>So he watched her in class? The Friday before break was the first time they had ever sat next to each other. It was in Shakespeare and he hadn’t even said anything to her about it. He simply sat in the chair next to hers and handed her her water bottle. She had forgotten it in Astronomy. He didn’t say much else to her, but smiled gently for most of class to himself. She felt oddly at ease with him that close to her, like a weight she hadn’t been aware of had lifted off of her.<br/><br/>“Thank you, Ben. It’s perfect,” she said, knocking the box onto the floor and taking his face in her hands. His skin was still cold from being outside. How long had he been out there? Tossing her own thought aside, she kissed his cold lips until they warmed up against hers. She felt him smile against her mouth, and her heart seemed to melt in her chest. Damn, what WAS it with this guy?<br/><br/>He suddenly grabbed her by the waist and laid back with her on top of him. Face crimson, she nuzzled deep into his chest and let her legs fall on either side of him. He was getting warm again, and his sweater was so comfortable to lay on… It didn’t help when he started stroking her hair. Between the warmth of her bath and the soft texture of his sweater… and the way his cologne made her feel safe… and his hand on her back… </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her eyes started to close and she let herself rest completely on him. It was about an hour past when she would usually go to bed. Maybe… she could just rest… a minute…</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">———</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey stirred at the feel of a hand brushing through her hair. She groaned, nuzzling deeper into her mattress. Just a few more minutes… She was so sleepy… Wait, that was not a mattress. Or a pillow. She groggily sniffed and rubbed at her eyes with one hand. What was happening?<br/><br/>“G’morning, sleepyhead.”<br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Alarm bells rang off in Rey’s head as she looked up. Ben Solo’s large nose and soft brown eyes caught her gaze first, and then the wild mane of dark hair flowing out onto her pillows under his head. The hand that was ruffling her hair moved to rest behind his head as he smiled playfully at her. Holy shit, had she fallen asleep? How long had she been out? The soft white light coming through her window was creeping onto the floor. Morning already?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She rolled off of him and rubbed at her face. Fuck, fuck, fuck, not good. “Ben!” She hissed, trying to keep quiet. “It’s morning!”<br/><br/>He rolled to the side and pulled her close by the waist, as if he was shifting only to sleep some more. “Yes. You fell asleep on me, and after the first hour of reading on my phone, I figured out you weren’t moving. May as well get some shut-eye myself.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey smacked his chest and he made a small noise of discontent. “You weren’t supposed to stay all night! My parents could come get me any minute!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eyebrows still furrowed from the smack, he held her tighter. “Your mom went grocery shopping and your dad’s hopping in the shower any minute. They just talked about it about… fifteen minutes ago? I heard a car pull out of your driveway right before you woke up,” he explained. “I just sneak out after the water turns on. No one will catch me.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Why was it that every time Ben Solo had an intelligent moment Rey was surprised? Maybe she hadn’t quite let go of her mental image of him yet. He was right though - she didn’t hear her mother’s humming or any movement in the house. It couldn’t have been later than eight or eight-thirty. She relaxed, in spite of herself. As long as she didn’t get in trouble - that was the important part.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Now, kiss me. And when your dad gets in the shower, I’ll leave,” he promised.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Maybe it was that her brain was still foggy from sleep, or that she had him literally beside her in her own bed, but she listened. He kissed differently when he was sleepy. His lips were lazy and soft against her own, while his tongue was still skilled and experienced against her timid and naive one. She had finally begun to embrace the truth of the situation - She <em>loved</em> kissing Ben Solo. She would probably do not much else if she was given the chance. Was this what it was like kissing people in general? Or was this just him?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he pulled away from her lips, he had that gleam in his eye. Rey had learned to be both terrified and excited by that look. It meant Ben had a very, very bad idea that he knew she would like very, very much.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know what you can get me for Christmas,” he stated.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Did he want to “steal second base”? Wait, why was she so ready for that? She shook the admittedly delicious thought from her brain. She cocked her head a bit. “What?”<br/><br/>He moved a hand up to pull the neck of his sweater down to reveal part of his chest. Why did seeing that one small section of his pale skin make her stomach twist? Why did she suddenly want to see more of him? Fuck, what had he done to her mind? She couldn’t tear her eyes away from it, even as he spoke again. “Give me a hickey.”<br/><br/>At first, she couldn’t quite get her mouth to form words. “Uh, gah, a what?” She wasn’t quite sure she heard him correctly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“A hickey,” he repeated, still pulling his shirt down. “Please tell me you know what that is.”<br/><br/>She did. However, she obviously had never given on, received one, or even seen one before. Well, except on Poe after he had left for a weekend to go to a music festival. “You want me to give you…” she repeated, trying to get the words to connect. Why did he want that?<br/><br/>“Yes, you heard me. And do it quick before I have to go,” he egged on.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey leaned in to his chest, but a thought occurred to her. Ben Solo was not the type to be vulnerable so often. The thought of touching or kissing <em>him</em> wherever she wanted was not something that had come up yet. He was actually offering her some control… And a smiled spread across her lips as she realized exactly how she would use her newfound power.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey’s hands were shaky as she rested one on his ribs and the other between his jaw and the pillow. She would drag this out if fate would let her. Her lips brushed his cheek before pressing more firmly, slowly, slowly, kissing down his jaw and his neck. He started to protest, but she bit him out of instinct to tell him to shut up. She wasn’t quite sure where the boldness had come from, but the hiss and soft, breathy groan she got in response was a thrill to her system. So that’s why Ben does what he does. She was started to understand the high of getting a reaction from someone else because of something she physically did to them. The more she kissed and licked and even bit at his neck, the more he squirmed and gripped at her waist. He struggled to keep his breath even and even swore a handful of times as she dipped lower and lower. She heard her father enter the bathroom as she licked along his collarbone. Damn it - she had begun to fantasize about getting Ben’s shirt off. Ah, well. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Now she was at his chest, above the soft sprinkling of hair that peeked out over the stretched rim of his sweater. It was firm, but smelled ridiculously good. So… a hickey was a bruise. How the fuck was she supposed to <em>bruise</em> him with her mouth? A bruise was just damaging the blood vessels… So she bit down on his skin and sucked hard on the flesh. She even moved her tongue and lips to try and irritate the blood vessels even more. She wanted it to <em>last</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was like an electric shock to his system. His mouth felt open on a gasp and his hand let the collar of the sweater go, just to cup the back of her head and pull it closer to his chest. She didn’t much care - she simply pulled the sweater back down and continued. For once, just this once, Ben would be the one hypnotized and craving <em>her</em>. “Fuck, Rey…” he groaned, crushing her body against his. Her name was curse in and of itself and that heat deep within her core started up again. She wanted him to sound like that all the time.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The high-pitched sound of high-pressure water. Dad was in the shower, and Ben had to go. She pulled back and smiled at her work. A dark red mark in the shape of her mouth stained his porcelain chest and his eyes were lidded and dreamy. He looked content, but also like he wanted to attack her. She might have let him if they didn’t have more important things to do. Thank God they had a schedule to keep - she was still unsure she would have the willpower to resist him if he asked.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He shook off the haze of her and leaned in to kiss her lips, still sore from sucking and biting so hard, and pressed his forehead into hers. “Rey… I…” He looked as if he was searching for words, but stopped. “You always surprise me.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She fought the tinge in her face as they snuck downstairs and into the mudroom. He got dressed again and pulled her into one last soft kiss and a quiet goodbye before he slipped out the backdoor and over the fence.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey grinned and leaned against the railing of the stairs. She had broken just about every rule in her own moral rulebook and she had loved every second of it. A boy had slept in her bed and she had left her mark on him. No, not a boy. Rey Jackson had left her mark on Ben Solo, and there was nothing either of them could do to turn away from that fact now.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As she caught her reflection in the mirror in the hallway, she paused. She pulled down the collar of her pajama shirt, revealing the curves of her cleavage, and she pondered. Perhaps her own chest could use some color.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. New Year</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Taking a step into Ben's world is a step that Rey can't take back.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey furrowed her brow at the racks of clothes. Shit, she was terrible at clothes shopping, even worse when her only requirement was to look “good”. Her rifled through the racks of glittery, too-short dresses and polyester jackets and sighed. Shit, shit, shit. She should just cancel on him. Nothing is going to look good anyway, and if she likes it if means he won’t, and why does she even care what he thinks-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey physically deflated. This is why she didn’t go to parties.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben had called her a few days ago and invited her to attend Phaedra’s New Year’s Eve party with him as his guest. She was shocked at first and was sure he was pranking her, but he assured her that he had run it by Phaedra and she had okayed her invitation. Phaedra’s parties always had an ‘open door policy’ meaning that anyone in their grade <em>could</em> attend, but her snark comments and ‘forgetful’ lack of invitations made it clear the guest list was more exclusive than that. No one had ever been thrown out or turned away at the door… But that was because half the grade didn’t bother showing up.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey had heard rumors about Phaedra’s parties before. They were hotspots of drugs, sex, alcohol, and bad decisions. Poe had actually attended a few of them when they were all underclassmen. He was always good at social things like that. After a few too many hangovers and a ride in the back of a police car home, he had gracefully declined all future invitations. At the request of his parents. Rey wasn’t even sure she wanted to go after every story and rumor that had made it’s way out of these parties, but Ben was relentless.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">So, here she was, trying to figure out what in heaven’s name she was supposed to wear to a New Year’s party. The ads all suggested shiny fabrics and glitter. While she wasn’t against those things, they didn’t exactly match anything in her closet. She could always do black like the classy ladies on television. Was that too close to Ben’s aesthetic?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She wandered the aisles of the department store, trying to find something, anything, that could pass for what a popular girl would wear to this. If she was going to be Ben’s date, she had to look the part. No, she wasn’t his date. <em>His guest.</em> But everything was too revealing or too boring…</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That one. Rey’s eyes zeroed in on a mannequin towards the back of the misses’ section. The dress was a deep blue with a glittery gauze-like material over the navy satin. It would hit just above her knees, and in the right shoes, she could show off some leg without being obscene. It was strapless, but she figured she could pair it with a cropped bomber jacket and she’d be fine. She wasn’t exactly an expert on fashion, but she had seen a similar look enough times in clickbait articles.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey inhaled deeply. Fine. She would go to the party.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">———</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey had just put the finishing touches on her makeup as she heard her phone buzz.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>You ready to go?</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She took a quick look in the mirror. A touch more highlight and some mascara and she would be fine. And maybe just another minute to shake out the nerves that she felt deep in her core.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Just a minute, be right out.</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She carefully applied the last of her makeup and did a small spin in her mirror. Well, it was as good as it was going to get. She hadn’t worn much makeup in the past, but the nice girl at the makeup supply told her that highlighter was necessary for a New Year’s party, and the young man at the cheap shoe place found a pair of peep-toe heels that matched the dress. Rey had spent the last two hours wrangling every hair into place and getting herself looking as good as she had ever looked.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a quick kiss goodbye to her parents and a promise to be home by one, she nervously marched out the door. She could see Ben look up and smile at her, before getting out of the car to meet her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, well, well, Ms. Jackson,” he teased, eyeing her up and down, examining every portion of her outfit. “Don’t you look the part. Damn, you really dressed up for this.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rey immediately felt her throat close. Oh shit, was it too much? Was a dress to formal for this kind of party? Fuck, she knew she should have asked Ben what she should wear. But, she loved surprising him…</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He moved close to her and tilted her chin up to kiss her. “You have that face again. Where you think you fucked up.” Goddamn, she was spending too much time with him. He had started to notice her habits and expressions better than some of her closest friends. “You’re gonna make Phaedra jealous… That’s kinda hot, actually.” He kissed her again and opened the car door for her. Regardless of his crude words, Ben really did have a gentleman in him. Deep, in him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben climbed into the driver’s side and started the car. For the first time that night, Rey finally got to really look him over. He had changed up his look for this. He had swapped out the leather jacket for a dark blazer over a well-fitting white t-shirt and dark jeans. His normally heavy-duty boots were replaced with bright-red sneakers. Rey recognized them as the kind “sneakerheads” would go crazy for, and had heard him brag about them earlier that year to his friends in class. At least one of them looked trendy.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As they pulled up, Ben cut the ignition but didn’t get out of the car. He simply turned to look at her, eyes tracing from her long, smooth legs to her chest to her face, running his tongue along the edge of his teeth. Hungry, that was the word for it. And while Rey felt an urge to blush and look away from him, something in her was prideful. He <em>liked</em> the way she looked.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ben leaned in to kiss her, unbothered by the possibility that someone could see them, and roughly placed his hand on her thigh. As she reached up to cup his jaw and taste his tongue, the hand squeezed, groping her bare thigh. Fuck, why did she suddenly not want to go inside anymore? Maybe it was the way his thumb was carefully stroking her skin, dipping under the hem of her dress, so close to where he shouldn’t touch… He nipped at her lower lip and she whimpered as he pulled away, removing his distracting hand from her thigh.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Let’s go,” he stated, getting out of the car. Even though her head was still spinning, Rey managed to get out and fall into step next to him. She could still feel the warmth of his hand on her bare thigh as they walked.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When they reached the door, Ben turned to look at her. “Okay. You’ve never been to one of these, right?” Rey shook her head. “In that case, do not leave my side for at least the first hour. Don’t drink anything unless I say its okay. Don’t take anything anyone gives you, even if its food. Don’t talk to anyone unless I do and do NOT dance with anyone until I tell you to. Got it?”<br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Normally, Rey would have put up a fuss. She wasn’t completely helpless, even if she wasn’t wise in the ways of high school social gatherings. She knew what roofies were and how to say no to people. She even had learned some self defense at summer camp. But the way Ben was looking at her, serious as a graveyard, she stopped herself. Maybe… Maybe these parties were more trouble than she thought.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m going to protect you, Rey. Physically, mentally, socially… I’m not going to let you get into trouble. I’ll introduce you to a few people you can trust here - they know not to fuck with me or any guest I bring. There might be times when I need to take care of a few things by myself. You don’t have to be nervous - I’ll make sure one of them is around to watch over you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Damn, and there was the protector thing that Rey had begun to love. He was so controlling and commandeering, and while Rey had hated that before their friendship, she had begun to understand why. He was the leader of a wolf pack and he needed to be strict with them in order to navigate these parties. And… he was letting her into his world. She was resolved not to embarrass him as much as she was able to. And, on another note, maybe this would be a unique opportunity to see what leadership looked like outside of her Future Leaders of America club meetings. And if Ben was the alpha wolf… Deep down, she wanted to see him bare his claws.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He leaned down and kissed her again, chaste and quick. It felt… almost loving. “You’re gonna do great, kid. Just follow my lead.” And he opened the door.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Outside, the music had been so muffled, down to just a <em>bumpbumpbump</em>. Now that the door was open, Rey’s senses went into overdrive. The music was incredibly loud, blasting some dance remix of a song she half-knew from the radio. Inside was dark, save for a few spinning lights set up on flat surfaces and the gleam of smartphones. It smelled of sweat and perfume, alcohol and weed, cigarettes and cologne. And there were so many people. The front hallway was littered with about a dozen, and every room they passed seemed to have at least thirty more. They were standing in groups, smoking in corners, passed out on couches… Rey clutched onto Ben’s sleeve as he navigated through the house.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He leaned down to her ear. “Remember, don’t talk to anyone unless I say so.” She felt his lips press a kiss to her skin, right beneath her earlobe, before he straightened up and continued walking.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They made their way into a large, comfortable-looking living room when Ben stopped moving. “Hey assholes!” He yelled above the music, waving over at a group of people on the couch. Rey recognized Huxley and Phaedra, as well as a few other guys from the tennis team. Another girl with sandy brown hair and intense eye-makeup was with them. Rey didn’t recognize her - she must have gone to another school.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As she got up, she felt Ben stiffen, but his overall mood stayed upbeat. He greeted each of them in turn with a head nod. “Hey Hux, Phae, Vic, Trev…” he paused, “Lucy.” He wrapped his arm around Rey to push her closer to the group. “I’ve brought a guest.” Phaedra cocked her head and Huxley looked particularly unimpressed.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">“I didn’t think you were actually serious about bringing the narc,” Hux said dryly, looking her over as if she was a dog in a dog show rather than a person.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Ben shrugged. “Hey, she’s cool. And half the people here voted for her, so I figured she should come take a walk on our side of things.”</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">“I didn’t even vote,” Hux replied cooly. Ben shot him a deathly stare and he backed down before continuing, “So, Rey, how are you handling it? I know it can be a lot.”</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, Ben,” the mysterious girl drawled over the straw in her drink. “I thought you said she was your friend. Friends don’t put friends in dangerous situations. How scandalous.”</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Ben appeared relaxed, but Rey felt his nails digging into the back of her bomber jacket. “She’ll be fine, Lucy.”</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">The girl took careful, slow steps towards Rey until she was a proper distance. She was beautiful with long, sandy hair and bright green eyes which she accented with dark eyeliner and rich eyeshadow. Under a thin mesh metallic hoodie, Rey spotted a dark bandeau. It was barely even a shirt. Her skirt was the same dark color and hit at her mid-thigh, showing off her tall, gothic boots. </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">“I’m Lucy. I go to the Achievement Townhome Academy, the all-girls school. You must be Ben’s new… friend.” Rey had heard of AT before. It was a difficult school to get into and was one of the top religious academies in the nation. It took strength not to wince at the way she said friend, almost like she wanted to say ‘pet’. After everything she had done to fit in, she still was treated like an outsider. Rey wanted nothing more than to run and hide when Lucy smiled with dagger-filled eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Phaedra wrapped her arm around Lucy. “Hey. Let’s go get Rey and Ben some drinks, hm?” Before anyone could say anything else, the two statuesque girls swayed off to the kitchen. Ben and the boys exchanged handshakes and shoulder taps before Trevor signaled for them to go outside, waving an e-cig in the air.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">After the left, Rey felt her feet hit the ground again. The tension in this room was electric, almost like a constant negotiation of needs and wants and political power. Now that she had a moment to look, every interaction between people looked friendly on the outside, but seemed to have a deeper, more intense meaning underneath it. Rey’s head was swimming with worry, but was interrupted by Ben’s hand on her shoulder.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">“You good, kid?” Ben asked sincerely, dipping his head to meet her eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">“Who was she?” Rey asked bluntly, the words more tumbling out rather than thoughtfully being spoken.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Ben sighed deeply and closed his eyes a moment. Oh, no. Rey had never seen that expression on Ben’s face before. “She’s… Lucy’s my ex-girlfriend. It’s a long story and it’s been a long time since I’ve seen her. I’ll tell you more when we’re not here. But what you have to know about Lucy is-”</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">“Shots!” Phaedra and Lucy appeared at Ben’s side, each holding two shots. </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Ben eyed them suspiciously, and took the one from Lucy. He nodded at Rey and she took the one from Phaedra, holding it uncomfortably. “Hey, you said you wanted to fit in. Deep breath and swallow it as quick as possible. Don’t choke.”</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">The group counted to three in quick succession before downing the clear liquid. Rey’s head was spinning with questions as she drank down the burning elixir. God, it hurt so much. Don’t cough, don’t choke, don’t cough. Her face spasmed into a sour expression before shaking it off. It was sweet and fruity and she would have probably enjoyed it if it hadn’t tasted like poison going down her throat.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Phaedra let out a whoop of excitement and smiled brightly at Rey. While Phaedra had always run in opposite circles from Rey, she had nothing against the blonde girl. Sure, she was rich, skinny, and a social butterfly, but jealousy was no reason to hold a grudge against anyone. If Ben liked Phaedra, Rey reasoned that it was worth it to try being friends with her, even if it just meant giving her a little trust.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Lucy smirked and handed Rey her shot glass. “Hey… You won’t mind if I steal Ben for a moment, do you? It’s been ages since we last saw each other. I’ll have him back to you in no time.”</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">The words were laced with poisonous intent and Rey felt a knife go through her heart and into her stomach. To her shock, Ben nodded. “It’ll only be a few minutes, okay? Phae can take care of you. I’ll be back in a minute.” And with that, Lucy led Ben to another room by his hand, his gaze holding onto Rey’s as long as he could see her. Feeling defeated, Rey followed Phaedra back into the kitchen where the blonde promptly sat on the counter.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">She poured another shot into her glass and offered one to Rey. “Babe, I know that look. You need another one, trust me.” Following through on her promise to trust Phaedra, Rey knocked back the second shot. Rey had always been good about not drinking alcohol - she had had one beer at her sweet sixteen and a few glasses of wine at graduation parties and weddings for her cousins. Never liquor. It didn’t feel as awful the second time, but Rey realized that it was likely due to the slight numbness in her mouth.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">“Alright, girl, spill it. What’s with the face?” Phae asked pointedly, gesturing for Rey to sit on the kitchen island across from her.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Rey obeyed the silent command and immediately let her head fall forward into her hands. “I don’t trust that girl.”</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">“Not surprising, since she broke his heart two years ago.” Rey’s head snapped back up to look at her, but she continued, “I don’t like her either. But she has a lot of social clout at AT, so I invite her. It’s like… It’s like that Game of Thrones show? You know it?”</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Rey nodded dumbly. She had watched every season with her friends last summer.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">“Well, these parties are like that. It’s like, whoever has the most allies and the most power ‘wins’ or whatever. It doesn’t come with money or shoes or real power, I guess,” Phae mused, taking a sip of vodka from the bottle, “But like… Powerful people now are likely going to be powerful later. Daddy says that you have to prepare your future as soon as you can. That’s what we’re all doing here.”</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Rey was unsure if it was the alcohol or the bomb that had been dropped that made her head spin. This is why Ben did the things he did. He beat up freshman to be the alpha, he drank beer to show strength, he talked back to teachers for social clout. He hung out with Huxley and Phaedra because they were as hungry for success and social power as he was. So… Why the hell did he hang out with her? Sure, she had <em>some</em> power in the school, but the title was mostly just for show. Rey helped plan school dances and was in the principals office for good reasons rather than bad - That wasn’t exactly helpful to him in his quest for power.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">“I voted for you,” Phae said quietly, staring into her drink.</span>
</p><p class="p4"><span class="s1">Recovering from the unexpected twist in her mental image of Phae, Rey cocked her head. “What? Why?”</span><br/><br/>Phaedra slowly set her drink down and looked her square in the eye. “Because you supported the GSA and approved funding for their charity auction last year.” Rey answered with an astonished look. How did she even know about that? “…You seem trustworthy, can you keep a secret?” Rey nodded, staying quiet. It was probably the booze, but Phaedra opening up to her felt like a good step to their eventual friendship. “I’m bringing my girlfriend to prom this year. I haven’t told anyone, not even my parents.”</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Suddenly, everything she knew about Phaedra Scyre made perfect sense. Rey offered an encouraging smile. “Hey… I’m proud of you.”</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Phae smiled back before looking at her phone. “Oh shit! It’s almost midnight! Come on, let’s grab a drink before the ball drops.” She hastily poured two cocktails and handed one to Rey before dragging her into the crowded living room. The room was packed with people, all crowding around to see the projection of Times Square on the wall. The clock was slowly ticking down and had just hit one minute when Phae had squeezed the pair into the room.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Phae took a moment to introduce Rey to a few of her friends and the group of girls toasted to a new friendship. All of Rey’s anxieties had left her as she looked around at this new group of people who seemed incredibly nice and friendly. But where was Ben? She looked around, trying to peer over the crowd as the countdown started.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Ten…</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Nine…</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Rey finally spotted him across the room, crushed between Lucy and Hux, a solo cup in his hand and a grin plastered across his face. Rey giggled to herself, he was probably smashed.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Eight…</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Seven…</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">The girls around her pulled Rey in for a selfie, which she grinned happily for. When she pulled back, she saw Ben standing on a couch to get a better view. To Rey’s dismay, Lucy climbed up beside him.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Six…</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Five…</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Rey watched as Lucy cheered her own drink with Ben’s, who looked as if he had relaxed a fair amount. She threw an arm around his shoulders and said something that made Ben laugh.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Four…</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Three…</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Two…</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Lucy threw back her drink, throwing the empty cup onto the floor, and placed her now free hand on Ben’s face. He looked out of it and his face fell when she touched him, his eyes still glued to the projection. Rey felt her heart in her throat.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>One…</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Rey could hardly hold onto her glass as she watched them kiss. Frozen, she watched Lucy’s painted lips move against Ben’s own as she nearly pinned him to the wall. Rey faintly heard Phaedra’s <em>ohshit</em> before Rey tore out of the room, throwing her plastic cup on the floor. Phae followed her out, hot on her trail as she left the house, slamming the door behind her.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Without saying anything else, Phae grasped Rey by the shoulders. “I’ll call you an uber.”</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Rey felt the tears burning at her eyes and the lump in her throat double in size. She could only nod as she watched Phae pulled out her phone and ordered a car after getting Rey’s address. In this moment of emotion, Rey was grateful that the blonde didn’t try to talk to her about it. She didn’t want to talk - she didn’t quite think she could manage it.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">As the car pulled up, surprisingly fast for being out in the suburbs, the front door opened. Ben Solo stepped from inside, a concerned look on his brow. “Rey, where the hell have you been? I-”</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Rey’s voice was not her own as her eyes glistened with tears and her poisoned throat yelled out, “GO TO HELL, BEN SOLO! I never want to see your fucking face ever again, you ASSHOLE!” Her voice broke as she screamed, breaking down in the driveway. Ben was silent as Phaedra helped her into the car and shut the car door. </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Rey was still shaking violently as the car pulled away. Of course this happened. It would never matter how much she cared for him. He needed someone as hungry for power as he was. And she would never be like them. Never.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Opening Number</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The show must go on.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rey scrolled through the endless stream of videos on her timeline, only pausing to swipe away another message from Ben. She hadn’t read the last thirty and she wouldn’t start now. Thankfully, they had been slowing down. The night of New Years, she had gotten close to ten messages in a row. And then one every day. Now, every other day. She couldn’t even bear to read them, though she had been tempted many times. No, she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing she had seen them at all. He was just another spam call as far as she was concerned.</p><p>Rey thought back to that morning with an audible wince. Did she really have to be so harsh? Regret boiled in her stomach, but her will was strong. Their Super Sunday rehearsal had been… harder to get through than she initially thought. It was much easier to ignore Ben Solo when he wasn’t ten feet away from her.</p><p>The whispers were obvious from the minute she stepped through the door. It seemed that almost everyone had heard about what had happened. Ben Solo, resident bad boy, had invited the class president to a party and then ditched her to make out with his ex-girlfriend. Some rumors had even started that they had gone home together. Adamantly, Rey insisted that she didn’t care. Yes, being friends with Ben had been fun, but he had made it clear how little he actually cared about her. Once they went back to school, everything would return to normal. He’d be picking on freshman and she’d be the one making sure he ended up in the principal’s office. Alignment to the universe would be repaired and things could continue as usual.</p><p>For everyone else, anyway. Rey had spend a good part of the last week crying her eyes out. She could barely manage one meal a day, and only at her mother’s insistence. No, not even the texts or calls from her friends shook her out of it. Against her usual active nature, she had spent the better part of three days holed up in her comforter, eyes glazed over as she watched CSI. Again.</p><p>And when she had marched into rehearsal, she was determined to save face and keep Ben Solo as far away as humanly possible. Mrs. Amidala was surprisingly understanding when Rey told her that she was uncomfortable kissing anyone today. The teen had prepared some bullshit about a sore throat and not wanting to get him sick, but her director simply shrugged and nodded before letting Rey go. Rey didn’t even sit with her friends, instead curling up in a corner of the auditorium awaiting her scenes and flicking through her social media. No one talked to her unless they had to.</p><p>Looking at Ben was a million times harder than she thought it would be. She had to - these rehearsals were too important to skip or give less than her best - but she could swear her heart actually ached when she looked at him. He kept his distance and no matter how good of an actor he was, his affection and playfulness had gone cold. Personally, Rey was impressed with herself that she had gone the whole eight hours without bashing his skull in or screaming at him. And… more personally, he had looked awful. His eyes were dark and he slouched, and his clothes didn’t match. And his gaze was so sad and desperate… She couldn’t look too long. It hurt too much.</p><p>No, no, no. Ben deserved this. He had betrayed her trust and made her think that maybe he had felt something for her. Her had given him so much! So many firsts of hers belongs to that conniving, thoughtless brute. No more, no more at all. She had decided that she could kiss him for the show, but she couldn’t talk to him anymore. His Christmas gift hung up in the very back of her closet, unworn. He could spend the rest of the school year staring at the back of her head for all she cared. Some deep part of her wanted him to watch as she went on with her life. Without him. He could be sad and tired and lose sleep all he wanted. She wouldn’t ever let him see her cry ever again.</p><p>Rey tossed her phone down onto her bed and laid back, staring at the ceiling. What did this mean for her? Ben had become such a big part of her self-exploration. Was she a good girl? Was she bad? Somewhere in-between? Could she even bear to think of anyone else but Ben the same way? There had been crushes before. There had been men, and perhaps even a few women, who Rey had found herself fantasizing over. After this… Maybe she would face facts. Not everyone needed love or relationships or sex. If this is what happened when she opened up about those parts of herself… Maybe she didn’t need anyone to see those parts of her. Maybe she’d be like all those strong women she read about. No husbands, no children, just her important, life-changing work. And people would read about her and have her quotes on their t-shirts and she could stare back at everyone from the cover of Time magazine.</p><p>Rey slowly lifted a hand to her lips, letting them brush against her fingertips. Damn it, damn it, damn it. What was she being punished for? It was like she had bitten into the apple and now a higher power was sending her world crashing down around her as punishment. No, no, she was a good girl. Even though sinning felt so good and fulfilling in a way she couldn’t describe… She had to be a saint now. That would help her achieve her goals. Real, wholesome, good goals. She had to be hungry for it, and that meant no distractions. Fuck Ben Solo.</p><p>———</p><p>“To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,<br/>In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock,<br/>Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,<br/>From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!”</p><p>Rey recited every word in a terse, clipped tone, watching every single syllable. There was something about how it sounded in a group that made warm-ups an otherworldly experience. That was something that had been awkward at first - doing warmups as a freshman - but had become part of the theater culture by now. Dressed in her simple, easy 20th century frock and her stage makeup, hair curled and tied up in a ribbon… There was a certain transformation to the whole experience.</p><p>She had been nearly giddy all day. Her secret psych had given her a lovely gift bag filled with sweets and encouraging messages. Someone must have told them about her tea habit, as there was a small but expensive-looking selection, alongside some small candies and a new water bottle. Everyone had been so nice to her all day - wishing her the best and expressing their excitement over opening night. It felt good to have a little positive attention for once.</p><p>“Trinidad!<br/>And the state of Mississippi<br/>and the town of Honolulu<br/>and the lake of Titicaca.<br/>The Popocatepetl is not in Canada,<br/>rather in Mexico, Mexico, Mexico!<br/>Canada, Málaga, Rimini, Brindisi<br/>Canada, Málaga, Rimini, Brindisi<br/>Yes, Tibet, Tibet, Tibet!”</p><p>But then there was Ben. Always Ben. She hadn’t heard him say a word all day, in any of their classes. He hadn’t raised his hand, hadn’t responded to anyone speaking to him… She had watched a freshman bump into him, and Ben had just stared. He looked alright now, saying the carefully twisting words in unison with the rest of the cast. His face looked fine and his features defined by the stage makeup. He was in a rather smart suit to start off the show, and he looked fairly good. But his eyes… They looked set. As if he had decided something. Rey had never seen him look so focused on anything in their time as friends. It frightened her.</p><p>“What a to-do to die today, at a quarter to two or two;<br/>a distinctly difficult thing to say, but harder it is to do.<br/>To beat a tattoo, at quarter to two<br/>With a rat-tat-tat- tat-tat-tat- tat-tat-tattoo<br/>and the dragon will come when he hears the drum<br/>at a quarter to two or two today, at a quarter to two or two.”</p><p>Mrs. Amidala clapped her hands once, the sound echoing throughout the silent black box. No one spoke, no one moved. Her voice was quiet, serious, but encouraging: “Stay focused. Find your magic. And break a leg. We have fifteen minutes.”The cast began to filter out of the black box into the hallways surrounding the back of the theater. Rey had finished her preparations already and planned on doing something to relax her nerves, but a word stopped her in her tracks.</p><p>“Rey.”She absently saw a few other actors glance in her direction, but no one stopped as they filtered out. Turning on her heel, she saw Ben, only a few feet behind her. His dark eyes were set on her, lacking his usual confident stance.</p><p>He repeated himself. “Rey.”</p><p>She felt a lump grow in her throat and all the work they had done to relax her jaw had vanished. Stupid Ben, always ruining everything. She was nervous enough without him talking to her. What right did he have-</p><p>“I’m sorry.”Her mouth shut and the energy disappeared from her chest. She attempted to respond, to cry, to say something, but nothing came out of her. He took a step toward her and she couldn’t even think enough to retreat. All thoughts were on the downward curve of his lips and the tears threatening in his eyes and the slight quake in his shoulders.</p><p>“I know you don’t believe me, and it doesn’t matter, and you should hate me but… But I wanted you to know that I’m sorry. I didn’t want to kiss Lucy, and I don’t talk to her anymore. I don’t know why she did what she did, but I left you at that party. I put you in that situation, and I’m sorry. I don’t deserve your forgiveness but I thought you should know that I…” The flood of words suddenly stopped. He wiped at his eyes with the back of one of his hands. He shook his head slightly. “I’m sorry. You were my best friend and I fucked up.”Rey reached out a hand to touch him, but he swallowed hard and stepped back.</p><p>“Break a leg, Rey. You’re gonna be great,” he added tersely before walking past her, leaving Rey alone in the black box.</p><p>His eyes… Why did he have to look at her like that? She felt like someone was clutching onto her heart when he looked at her like that. Why did he have to care about her? Why couldn’t he just be the dickhead that he was around everyone else?</p><p>As she turned to leave, she caught her own eyes in one of the mirrors that lined the black box. Shit… Rey had fucked up. Sure, Ben had abandoned her at the party, but Rey was the one that wasn’t honest. With Ben, with herself, with anyone. Ben had tried to apologize and explain, but Rey had blocked him out. He had been basically assaulted by his ex-girlfriend, and Rey had decided to act like a child instead of talking to him about it. And she had been lying to everyone else - first about their friendship and now about whether she was upset.Rey took a deep breath and swallowed the lump in her throat. Fuck… She liked Ben Solo. She missed Ben Solo. And she owed Ben Solo an apology.</p><p>———</p><p> </p><p>“What are you doing here? I told you I never wanted to see you again.”</p><p>Rey stood on the porch of the faux farm house, clutching the railing in her hands. No matter how careful they were about dress rehearsals, it never did feel quite like the real thing. Nothing ever felt the way that hundreds of eyes felt. The soft rustling of programs, the occasional cough or cry from a small child. The lights always felt brighter on opening night.</p><p>“Lyssa, I swear, you’ve got it all wrong-”</p><p>Ben approached the porch carefully, hands up in defense. His suit had disappeared - his con-man character had changed into a flannel and overalls, attempting to blend in as a farmer. But his cover had been blown in the previous scene.“I don’t want to hear another lying word out of your mouth, Henry David Richardson. You done wronged me!”</p><p>The longer the scene went on, the worse the words sounded coming out of Rey’s mouth. Why did Lyssa have to be so similar to herself? Damn it, why couldn’t Lyssa just hear him out? Henry was a big jerk to everyone and lied a lot, but he really did have good intentions. Kind of.</p><p>“What do you want me to do? Get on my hands and knees and beg you for forgiveness? Beg the lord for forgiveness?” The words felt harsher falling from his lips than usual, with a new curt inflection. Shit, Ben was still upset, even now that the first act was ending. He had been doing brilliantly too. Ben dropped to his knees. “Forgive me father, for I have sinned!” The line, usually said comedically for a laugh, felt sarcastic and cruel. No one laughed.Rey slammed her fist down on the railing. “I want you to be a man, Henry! Be a man!” Shit, here was the risk.</p><p>Ben climbed up onto the porch beside her, getting in very close to her. “You want a man? Here I am. I did lie to you - I never owned a farm in my life. I don’t have the money I promised you. I did get in a fight with your brother and split his lip. But you know what else I did?” His voice raised with every word, raising the tension higher and higher. Rey swore she felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up as he nearly yelled at her. “I loved you, Lyssa! I loved you more than any man ever loved a woman. And I’m not letting you go.”</p><p>Ben didn’t make a move to kiss Rey. He just stood there, looking upset and almost defeated. Like he had realized that yelling the loudest didn’t mean he had won her love. Shit, Mrs. Amidala would be pissed about this, but…</p><p>Rey threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. Fuck, this felt so right. After weeks of not kissing Ben, Rey nearly forgot about the production as a whole and melted into him. He seemed shocked, unmoving as her mouth pressed against his own. Fucking idiot freshman was late with his cue… For once, Rey didn’t care about the cue. Or whether her parents were watching. Or that she was enjoying this too much. The only thing on her mind was the feeling of his hand on the small of her back.</p><p>“Lyssa! Henry! The MacGuffin’s barn is on fire!”</p><p>The freshman appeared onstage, about twenty seconds late. Ben took Rey’s hand in his own and they ran offstage, the curtain lowering behind them.</p><p>The pair huddled against the curtain, listening to the applause and the quiet, harsh tones of the assistant stage managers on their walkie-talkies. As they heard the clapping die down and the familiar rustle that accompanied intermission begin, they let out a collective breath. The rest of the cast backstage was beginning to move and set up for act two, with a few actors helping the running crew move set pieces.</p><p>Ben let his hand slip from hers and he looked down at her, eyes soft. “Why did you-“Rey cut him off, wrapping her arms around him in a tight embrace, pressing her face into his chest, knocking the hat off of her head. Ben jolted a bit at her hug, but hugged back, holding the back of her head with one hand. His hand shook against the curls and he held her tighter, his breath shuddering.</p><p>“So.. So you’re not mad at me?” He managed, loosening his hold on her just enough to look at her face.</p><p>“No… No, not at all,” she reassured, looking up at him. They had a quiet moment before she shook her head, blinking back tears. “Damn it, Ben. Don’t make me cry my makeup off!” She laughed breathily and stepped back, rubbing a tear away with a finger.</p><p>“Not my fault you’re sensitive, Princess,” he shot back playfully, wiping his own face with a hand.</p><p>“I’m really sorry,” she started softly, looking at him. “I’ve been childish and stubborn and unfair to you and… And I miss you. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had and it was really stupid for me to let some stupid girl get in the way of that. I should have talked to you.”</p><p>Ben nodded, his smile soft and sad. “I shouldn’t have left you at that party. Maybe if I wasn’t so obsessed with what everybody thought, I wouldn’t have gotten into that mess. I should have just asked you to be my date.”</p><p>A familiar thrill jumped into Rey’s stomach at his words, making her smile grow a bit more. Damn it, don’t look stupid now. She cleared her throat. “Can we just… Go back to how we were before New Years? Watching stupid TV, doing homework, getting coffee?” Even if no one had interrupted them, it was probably best to leave out the amount of… coaching Ben had done.</p><p>“You still want to? Even though the play is gonna be over in a few days?” Another new expression on Ben: Hope. They had agreed to do this for the sake of the production and the rest of the theater company, but none of that mattered whatsoever anymore.</p><p>“Of course, I do.” Every single sentence that went through Rey’s head was either cheesy, or way too close to an admission of attraction. As much as she owed him that, now was not the time for that conversation.</p><p>“Rey, I-“ Ben started, eyes a bit too sincere for where they were standing. The stage manager hissed that Act 2 was starting before disappearing back behind the curtain. Ben coughed and looked down. Was he… blushing? “Nevermind. Break a leg, love.” He pressed his lips to her forehead briefly before disappearing to the other side of the stage.</p><p>The smaller teen fought the blush fiercely from her face as he went over her lines and blocking for the next scene. Damn it, Ben… Ben and his stupid face, Ben and his perfect face…Wait, what did he just say?</p><p>———</p><p>Something about finals bows was always exhilarating. The thunderous applause, the break in character, the feeling of her heart in her throat… And holding Ben’s hand wasn’t too bad either. The curtain closed in front of them, and the cast burst into chatter and excited whoops. After a show, it was always like they weren’t in high school. For just a moment, everyone got along. High-fives and hugs and the occasional tackle - it was nice to imagine that the social ladder didn’t exist.</p><p>Without much warning, Ben picked Rey up in a crushing hug, subtly kissing her temple. It was strange to be this tall for once, at his level. He was so much physically bigger than her - it never hit her until they were so close. She gratefully hugged him back, pressing her face into his neck, smelling only sweat and makeup and cologne and him. A little sanctuary from all the noise and motion around her. He set her down and pressed his hand to her cheek, just staring.</p><p>Reality seemed to hit them both at the same time. Shit, this was high school and social ladders did exist and they had just hugged. In front of other people. They both quickly turned away, red-faced, looking to other people. Thankfully, no one gave them a look or said a word about it.</p><p>Rey found herself shuffled to one side, being swarmed by a few freshman who she had looked over during the production. Rose slung an arm over her shoulders and the two posed for a snap, only noticing Poe and Finn dabbing obnoxiously in the background. Her friends were idiots, but God she loved every single one of them.</p><p>Poe kissed her cheek dramatically, an arm around her waist. “You were fantastic, Rey! I’m proud of you, kid.” Rey wiped the kiss from her cheek, grinning at him. “No, seriously, you did great.”</p><p>“Yeah! Really top notch, Rey!” Finn agreed, grinning. Finn’s old age makeup somehow made his usually goofy grin even better.</p><p>“Thanks, guys. Think we can do it for three more shows?” Rey joked, pulling Rose in for a hug. It was their second to last show together. In the spring, it would be the musical and then… And then they would graduate. The thought choked Rey up a bit, knowing their days were numbered. Rey’s eyes looked over the thinning crowd of actors, looking over at Ben. He looked so happy, joking around with some of the other actors, spinning some kind of story.</p><p>Their days were numbered.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey y'all. Sorry I pseudo-disappeared from AO3 for a while... I just didn't have much inspo for this story. But I'm determined to finish it! Anyway, more sexy stuff next time. I've never written such slow burn like this... But I'm having a great time.</p><p>Comment/kudos to give me some motivation!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. To Be Or Not To Be?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rey wants Ben. How does she want him? She doesn't know yet.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">Rey peered up from her spot on the couch at Ben, who was intently reading his Shakespeare text. They had moved on to Hamlet this month, and the way his lips moved with the text, eyes ticking back and forth between the text and the translation notes, was hypnotizing. The show had been over for nearly a week, and yet… Things didn’t feel the same.</p><p class="p1">The pair had been hanging out nearly every day, doing homework and ordering takeout. Once, Ben had even cooked for them. But he had kept his distance. No more late-night texts, no pet-names, not even sitting beside her. What was he worried about? Maybe he didn’t like her like she had thought. He had probably moved on, deemed them just friends, and wanted her companionship. Usually, she wouldn’t have said anything at all, content to be in his presence. They were graduating soon, after all. <br/><br/>But the way he looked today. He had changed something, but she couldn’t place it. The wayhe was leaning so casually against the arm of the other couch, long legs stretched out along the cushions, clad in dark denim. How he rested his head on his hand, brushing back his hair to show off the subtle piercings in his ear. The way his henley was undone to show just a sliver of his chest. Rey couldn’t stay quiet anymore.<br/><br/>She closed her laptop. “Ben?” She nearly winced - she shouldn’t do this. Every fiber in her knew she shouldn’t do this. And yet…<br/><br/>“Hm?” Ben looked over from his book, closing it on his finger to keep his page. And there were the eyes, those big brown eyes that made her melt. Fuck, she was really doing this.<br/><br/>“I… Is everything okay?” She blurted out, internally cringing at the abruptness of the question.<br/><br/>He quirked an eyebrow, but there was something in the way his thumb traced over the corner of his book that made Rey look deeper. “Yeah, of course. Are you okay?”<br/><br/>“Just…” Rey sighed. She had already started this mess, might as well hold her nose and continue on through it. “You haven’t been affectionate and I was wondering if I had made you mad or something.” She refused to look at him, staring down at the floor in front of him.<br/><br/>She heard him shift, and suddenly she was staring at his feet. “You… want me to be ‘affectionate’?” He asked softly, sitting up now. She could feel his eyes on her, watching. He was doing that annoying analyzing thing again, trying to figure out what she was thinking.<br/><br/>No point in lying about it. “Yes. I kinda miss it.”</p><p class="p1">Suddenly, those feet began moving towards her, until he was standing in front of her couch. He knelt, to be at eye level, and suddenly she was powerless. Ben, kneeling in front of her, eyes set on her own, lips looking so soft - it was all lethal. Since when did she let a man do this to her? Since when could a look from him send her over the moon? She would not blush in front of him. That was a victory that she wasn’t willing to give him… yet.</p><p class="p1">Ben looked at her a long time. Finally, he reached out a hand to rest on her jaw, cradling the side of her face. It was the most affection she had gotten out of him in a week, and it sent shivers down her spine. “Rey… what do you really want to say?”<br/><br/>A word sparked in Rey’s mind, but she quickly shook it off. No, no, no, no need to jump ahead to what it might be like to spend her life with Ben Solo. To their three kids and house in the suburbs and some big pit bull she was sure Ben would bring home from the shelter- What the fuck was she doing? Maybe if this is how insane he drove her, she should be honest.<br/><br/>“…Maybe I do like you. <em>Like</em> like you, I mean.” Well, that wasn’t exactly the profession of affection she had hoped to come up with, but the way his face lit up made everything worth it. “Don’t get a big head about it!” She defended, eyes dropping. To think she had thought that she could survive life, let alone high school, without Ben Solo. The feeling of the weight dropping off of her chest as she told him was like finding out the SATs were cancelled.<br/><br/>“You can be as mean as you want to me. I still like you too,” he replied softly, stroking her cheek with his thumb. Rey’s eyes shot back up to meet his in surprise. Had she heard- Her thoughts were cut off with blissful nothingness as he kissed her lips with a warmth that lied somewhere between the fiery sexual deviancy and the cool exterior he gave off. It was affectionate, reassuring… It was Ben.<br/><br/>He tried to pull away, perhaps to say something, but it had been weeks since they had kissed like this. The thick dark locks of his hair felt so soft between her fingers as she pulled him closer. A startled sound left his throat, but his hand fell to her hip and his fingertips pressed into her as they kissed, almost like a magnetic touch. She moved forward, sitting on the edge of the couch in front of him, unable to help herself from being pressed close to him. The addiction she had developed to Ben Solo was in full on relapse.</p><p class="p1">Roughly, his other hand spread her knees apart so he could be between them, crushing her body to his. There was something so strangely natural about this. Like her body just knew what to do. The way their mouths moved, nearly in sync, the way she ran her hands through his hair, how his hands grasped tight to her hips and thighs… It was like the human body was made for this. Everything else was just… something to fill time.</p><p class="p1">He pulled away suddenly, still clutching her to him, forehead brushing against her own. He looked at her, almost as if he was checking something, getting permission. The glazed look in his eye, the way his parted lips panted ever so softly, the way his hands flexed against her body - She wasn’t sure there was any way she could say no to him. Rey had never been this close to losing control of a situation before, and that danger alone was somehow terrifying and irresistible. She hoped to God that Ben had self control.<br/><br/>Ben suddenly pulled away and stood up, pulling her hand so she would rise up beside him. Neither of them said a word as Ben pulled her into another searing kiss, subtly backing them up until he was the one sitting and she had ended up straddling his lap. Her mind began to race: Shit, was this the right thing to do? They hadn’t even really talked about what had happened and they just admitted their feelings and she wasn’t on birth control and fuuuuck…</p><p class="p1">Ben’s lips had drifted from her own to her cheek, her jaw, her neck. HIs hands ghosted from her waist to grab firmly onto her ass as he mouth danced across her throat. She couldn’t put together any cohesive thoughts. Not when she could feel his tongue gliding up her neck and his teeth sinking into the flesh just below her ear. She let out a soft moan, pressing her body against his. Her hips rocked into him, and he groaned as she moved her hips against him. Something was very hard between his legs… Rey’s face flushed. So <em>that’s</em> what that felt like.<br/><br/>Rey pulled away, face scarlet at both the sound that had somehow escaped her mouth and the clothed hardness pressing between her legs. Ben caught her look and shrugged, the trademark smirk gracing his lips. His eyes flicked over her in his lap before his hands left her ass, moving to his own shoulders and removing the shirt over his head.<br/><br/>Holy shit, Ben Solo was shirtless and in front of her and looked like that and she was on top of him. Rey’s blush somehow got worse as her eyes involuntarily traced over every curve of muscle. Years of intense tennis and fencing had left him muscular and lean. Ben Solo was no angsty boy playing bully; Ben Solo was a man. And watching him strip that fabric from him so casually as he sat beneath her was the most erotic thing Rey had ever witnessed.</p><p class="p1">Any and all words escaped from her throat when he looked at her to gauge her reaction. Clearly, something about her expression was stroking his ego and she didn’t miss the way he flexed for her, trying to appear so subtle. “You like what you see?” His arrogance made Rey stumble back into herself, eyes flicking off him in an attempt to gather thoughts into a witty comeback.</p><p class="p1">He didn’t let her. “Rey.” Damn, that tone. It was the same tone he had used when they were lying in her bed as he was explaining sex. Her throat felt dry. “I want to see you.”<br/><br/>Oh, fuck, this conversation. It was happening now. Her mind raced with conflicting thoughts: Part of her wanted to rip her clothes off and have his lips on her. She wasn’t sure when that part of her had taken root, but it was definitely there. In the same breath, she was nervous. And scared. What if he didn’t like what he saw? Her breasts were fairly average. Or what if they went too far? She wasn’t ready to have sex with him either. Sure, part of her had been really considering it this past week, but an idea and an action were very different-</p><p class="p1">“You don’t have to.” The words snapped her from her anxious thoughts. His voice had shifted back to his softer, more sincere side.</p><p class="p1">“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just… I really liked how you look, Rey. I think about you all the time. I fantasize about this,” Ben mused, reaching a hand up to press her forehead against his own. “I like you, Rey. All of you. That won’t change if you take your shirt off or not.”<br/><br/>And there was the flower bloom. Why did he have to… do that? Make her feel so good and cared for? The idea dawned on her that his respect for her space this week may have contributed to her new cravings for him. He seemed so content to stop right here and just hold her against his naked chest for the rest of time.</p><p class="p1">But that wasn’t enough for her. She took a breath and tore her sweater from her torso, trying to look as confident as he did. She avoided his eyes, but she could still hear the soft gasp and the softer groan as he looked at her. That hardness that was pressing against her seemed to be getting worse somehow, and instinctually her hips moved against him. They both gasped and her body pressed against his, lips so close she could feel his breath.<br/><br/>“Can I touch you?”<br/><br/>Rey’s blush reignited at his words, but she nodded. Ben didn’t start there, however. Pulling her close, he kissed her so softly and carefully, as if she might break. His tongue moved slower and more thoughtfully than before, the heat between them like red-hot coals. Somehow, this felt more sinful than the fiery passion he had displayed before. His hands found her own, clutching her wrists, and brought them to rest on his chest as he continued to kiss her. For a moment, her fingers flexed in anxiety and hesitation, but she reveled in the feeling of his skin under her hands. It was so soft, just a light dusting of hair over his chest. She couldn’t help herself - her palms slid down and rested on his abdomen, causing him to groan against her mouth.</p><p class="p1">The feeling of his hand on her breast wasn’t as jolting as she thought it would be. It felt more like a light massage, his hand very gently kneading at her bra-covered flesh. Thank God she wore something cute today, a baby blue t-shirt bra, instead of her usual uglier flesh toned ones. Perhaps she had started to prepare for their encounters.</p><p class="p1">One hand left his body to tangle in his hair, her mouth moving in tandem with his own. The coals had begun to catch fire again, and it was hard to ignore the free hand that had found its way back to her ass, pressing her hips firmly against his own. Fuck, this felt so different when it wasn’t her rutting against her hand at 2am in her bedroom. The hand on her breast was getting more confident, using more pressure, and she didn’t even attempt to hide the soft moan that escaped her throat. Ben took that as a positive sign and simply slipped his hand into her bra, taking her breast in his hand.<br/><br/>Her hips jerked. Fuck, <em>that</em> felt different. Really different. Rey had to stop herself from squirming at the sensation of her nipple brushing against his palm. Her stubbornness wanted to shield him from the fact that her nipples were sensitive, but this new dark part wanted him to know. Wanted him to use it against her. His mouth left hers to kiss down her jaw to her neck, leaving soft licks and bites in his wake.<br/><br/>Rey had begun to fall into a blissful state, somewhere between mindless pleasure and greedy deviancy. Her body began to get used to his own - his hands touching her, his lips on her skin, his hips slowly grinding into hers in the most excruciating form of pleasure. She barely noticed through her haze that his lips were kissing lower and lower, mouth past her collarbone and down her sternum. Instinctually, her back arched a bit, watching him. His hand moved from her breast to pull her bra down a touch. Rey tensed. Fuck, fuck, fuck, he could see her bare breast. Ben didn’t look long before taking the rosy peak into his mouth, suckling softly.</p><p class="p1">Rey nearly jumped out of her skin. Holy shit, his tongue! The sight of him with his mouth on her breast alone nearly tore her apart, but the feeling of his tongue… The way he alternated between softly sucking and lavishing her breast with attention with his tongue - it was so much. Fuck it, she didn’t have much to lose in this moment. Her hand held the back on his head, egging him on, while her hips moved relentlessly against the hard column in his jeans. He groaned against her, vibrations against her skin, and gripped her ass harder.<br/><br/>A small wave of pleasure washed over her, and she moaned unashamedly. “Ben… Fuck…” His hand left her ass and groped her other breast, still lavishing her with his tongue, before his hands fell to brush down her stomach and trace a teasing line across her hips, fingers starting to undo the button on her pants.</p><p class="p1">“Ben?”<br/><br/>The voice shook them both from their haze. It was coming from upstairs, beyond the closed door.</p><p class="p1">“Ben? Can you help me unload the groceries?” The voice was distinctly an older woman, but not a voice Rey recognized.</p><p class="p1">His head leaned back and his winced. “Fuck, no,” he breathed, the last syllable stretching out. He looked Rey over one last time before calling back. “Yeah, ma! Be up in a second!”<br/><br/>He righted her bra to cover her again and they both sheepishly looked at each other, Rey grabbing her sweater from the couch. Before she could put it back on, Ben pulled her into a hug, holding her against his chest. It felt comforting, reassuring that the interruption hadn’t undone anything between them. She couldn’t help but indulge herself a little, nuzzling into his neck and breathing in the scent of him. <br/><br/>“Be right back, okay?” He muttered quietly, pressing a kiss to her temple. She shifted herself off of him begrudgingly. His arms had become such a safe place and the idea of him leaving made her feel somehow more alone. He slipped his shirt back over his head and caught her face. “Don’t be sad.” He offered a playful smile before pecking her on the lips and heading upstairs, disappearing.<br/><br/>The smaller teen redressed and grabbed her phone, curling up in the warm spot where Ben had been sitting. She lost herself in social media, trying to make the throb between her legs disappear. After reading an article or two on a trashy website, Rey heard the distinctive <em>clomp</em> of Ben descending the stairs. She began to sit up, but he simply shifted her so he could lie behind her on the couch, arm firmly around her waist.<br/><br/>“You okay?” He asked, pressing another kiss to her cheek. She nodded, and the two took a moment to just cuddle into each other, enjoying the warmth. Besides that one night where they had fallen asleep together, they hadn’t actually cuddled like this before. That would have to change - this felt somehow just as fulfilling as their exploits a few minutes before.<br/><br/>“Ben… What does this mean?” Rey posed softly, draping her arm over his own.<br/><br/>He was quiet for a moment. “What do you want it to mean?”<br/><br/>“Well… Does this mean we’re a couple or friends or what?” She nervously squeezed his hand, glad that she didn’t have to look at him.<br/><br/>He sighed, pulling her even closer to him. “Do you want to be a couple?”<br/><br/>Her insides turned. She was excited and terrified at the idea. “I… Don’t know. Maybe?”<br/><br/>“Being a couple is a lot of work, Rey,” he said.<br/><br/>“I know,” she answered. Well, she didn’t know. Not from experience. “But… Shouldn’t we be? If we like each other?”</p><p class="p1">“I’ve liked you for a long time without dating you,” he responded, nuzzling into her hair. She blushed again, pressing her face into the cloth of the couch. She knew that, deep down. But him saying it… It was like a flower garden in her chest. Stupid Ben. …Her Ben. His tone shifted, his voice a bit more somber. “I think… I think I’m still a little fucked up from my last one. And that’s not on you, that’s on me.”<br/><br/>Rey turned in his arms to face him. His expression was serious and his eyes seemed to be a few miles away. She reached up to stroke her thumb over his cheek. “No, it’s not. What happened wasn’t okay.” They had never really talked about the New Years Party, or what had happened after she left. “Are you… okay? I don’t want to pry, but what happened?”<br/><br/>Ben didn’t meet her eyes. “She didn’t leave me alone for the rest of the night. She kissed me and wouldn’t stop until I shoved her away and chased after you. She kept trying to get me to take her home… My friends said I should, but I ducked out like an hour after you left.”<br/><br/>Her throat thickened. “Did… did you want to?”<br/><br/>His eyes finally raised to meet hers. “All I wanted was to be with you. When you didn’t pick up the phone or answer me, I went home. Which was stupid - I was drunk. But I went home and I didn’t stop thinking about you until I apologized.”<br/><br/>Rey’s head spun. Ben had been so upset he had ducked out of a party? And Lucy had been harassing him? But… He had left because he was worried about her. And she ignored him. “Don’t you ever drive drunk ever again,” she warned, gravely serious. He opened his mouth to respond, but she pressed her finger to his lips. “And I won’t ever leave you like that again. I’m sorry that happened to you. You don’t deserve that.”</p><p class="p1">She nuzzled up into his neck and he held her close. It was so unfair. No one ever talked about this shit happening to guys. Girls were trained from such young ages to be bitches and feel justified when men made unwanted advances. Rey was told to snap a guys wrist if she was ever touched without permission. But Ben… Ben had been trapped. He looked so big and scary to everyone, but he was scared in that moment. No one had stopped to help him. And through it all, he had been worried about her.<br/><br/>Rey pulled back to press her lips to his own. “Hey. I’m okay just being what we are. You’re my best friend, and if you need more time before you want to date, I get it. Just… don’t hurt me.” The words left her mouth before she could think. She had never really given her affections to anyone before, and the idea was terrifying. But Ben had trusted her with his feelings - something she was sure that Big Bully Ben Solo had never done before - and she wanted to return the favor.<br/><br/>His warm smile dissipated into seriousness. “Rey Jackson, I swear I will never hurt you. I’ll never let anyone else hurt you either.”<br/><br/>A few months ago, that would have felt like a threat. She would have argued or let out an acid reply. Now, Rey was beginning to understand. Ben was a protective type and swearing allegiance was a bloodpact. He really meant what he said - he cared about her and would be her champion if she ever needed him. Rey had spent so long being the good girl and dealing with all the relentless bullying and teasing that went along with that. Having Ben to look out for her and be in her corner felt so freeing. Maybe they were in a relationship. A different kind, without the same labels, but it still felt reassuring. <br/><br/>That word popped into her head again. He had called her “love”. Rey had never felt romantic love for anyone before, but this was probably the closest she had ever come to it. No, it was just some silly schoolgirl crush. If it was - why did it feel like much more than that?<br/><br/>A smile crept over Ben’s face, growing enough that she could see his teeth. He ranks tongue over his lips, almost nervously. God, could he read her mind?<br/><br/>“Can I say something really, really lame?” He asked.<br/><br/>Rey quirked an eyebrow, but nodded. “Sure?”<br/><br/>Ben closed his eyes and exhaled, the smile somehow growing. “Listen, I’m not used to this… gushy feelings thing. I’ve never done this before. Anyone I’ve dated has basically been in it to make out and just go to parties or whatever, but… You feel different. And I know we just said we’re not dating or a couple or whatever. But I was wondering… And I know, this is really lame and if you say no, I get it.” Rey raised her eyebrows, enjoying his clumsy rambling. “Do you… Do you want to be my Valentine?” He visibly winced at the word.<br/><br/>Valentine’s Day was only two weeks away, and the school clubs had been putting up posters and starting to spread the word about various fundraisers and activities. Rey herself had been organizing a candy-gram and a Photo Booth. She had never thought she would hear those words come out of Ben Solo.<br/><br/>She laughed, all the tension that had been built up between them over the past few hours leaving her body. He cringed, clearly wanting to disappear into the couch.<br/><br/>When the laughter died down, she kissed his nose. “Of course, I’ll be your Valentine.”<br/><br/>His body relaxed from his cringing position and he playfully scooped her up to lay on top of him. He kissed her lips, her cheeks, her nose, her forehead. “I’ve always wanted to ask someone that.”<br/><br/>Rey raised her eyebrows and grinned cheekily. “Oh, Ben Solo has a romantic streak, hm?” She giggled, only made worse when Ben ticked her ribs in revenge.<br/><br/>“You tell anyone, and I will kill you,” he threatened, pulling her down to kiss her.</p><p class="p1">It was the kind of kiss that made her toes curl and that warmth bloom in her chest. That warmth spread lower, to her stomach, to that spot between her legs. His lips were so plush and soft and moved so expertly against her own. His hands did no wandering, just holding the small of her back tenderly. Rey had never considered what it would be like to straddle Ben Solo, with his broad chest under her hands and his hips deliciously flush with her own. God, now she was the dirty one between them. When had that happened?<br/><br/>When one of his hands cupped the back of her neck as he kissed her, so slowly and deeply, her mind couldn’t help but wander. He could start stripping her right then and there, grinding that hardness into her. He could make her beg for it. And then he’d strip himself, and she would finally have something solid to back her fantasies-<br/><br/>He parted from her lips, curiously examining her flushed face. “Sweetheart?” He purred, voice honey-sweet. His eyes narrowed, suspicious. “What are you thinking about?”<br/><br/>Rey’s face brightened. “N-nothing,” she replied.<br/><br/>“Nothing,” he echoed skeptically. “Of course.” He smirked and rested his hands on her hips as she sat up on him, valiantly attempting to wipe the redness from her face. His thumbs slipped under her sweater and stroked the flesh just above her hip bones. He gripped onto her and moved his hips upward smoothly, causing her to whimper. He chuckled darkly. “I best get you home.” He shifted to sit up a bit more, still holding her hips tightly against his own. He rolled his hips again, locking his eyes on her own. She gasped and let out a strangled sound. “Best not keep you here and let you get too tempted.”<br/><br/>Stupid Ben and his stupid hips and his perfect mouth and his sweet voice… She wasn’t sure when it had happened, but sincere Ben and sexy Ben had become one and the same. And now just a look at him made her heart light and her stomach twist. God, what an asshole. A handsome, beautiful, wonderful asshole.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you all for the feedback! You have no idea the joy I feel when I see a comment.</p><p>I've never written this much for a single project. My goal is to hit 50k words before the end of the year. Please, let me know what you think!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Space and Swords</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rey and Ben haven't seen each other in a while. Ben begins to play some dangerous games, and Rey begins to realize she's messing around with the school bully.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">The next few weeks passed by like a blur. And Rey was grateful that for once, life seemed to have returned to normal. Well, normal in a sense. Auditions for the musical had come and gone (with Rey taking a smaller role, but one she was excited about) and Ben beginning pre-season training for the tandem Tennis and Fencing seasons. This meant that while they spent less time together, they were seldom short on conversation when they managed to spend time together.</p><p class="p1">Which is why Rey was surprised when Ben Solo arrived early to their first period Astronomy class and sat right beside her. The class schedule was a bit jumbled today thanks to the all-school presentation later on in the afternoon, so the two found themselves alone for the first time in nearly a week.<br/>
<br/>
“Morning, kiss-ass,” he teased, peering around before pressing a kiss to her forehead. He settled into the chair next to her, immediately taking out his phone and checking his notifications before resting it on the table.</p><p class="p1">Rey blinked in surprise. “Well, good morning to you too.” She was shocked by his choice of seating - so much so that she had forgotten to throw an insult back at him. “You’re sitting in Finn’s seat.”<br/>
<br/>
Ben snorted and took a sip from his coffee. “Yeah, well, he can deal with it.”<br/>
<br/>
“Don’t you think everyone’s gonna… I don’t know, be suspicious?” Rey asked, taking her notebook from her bag.</p><p class="p1">“As opposed to the rumors that I’m fucking you in exchange for better grades?” Ben retorted dryly. Rey paled at the idea. “Don’t worry, I’ve been dealing with it. There’s not much more anyone can say about us that hasn’t been said. Besides - I missed you.”<br/>
<br/>
The thought of Ben missing her nearly wiped any thought of scolding him for “dealing” with the rumors. Nearly. “You’ve been beating up freshmen again?” Rey grumbled.</p><p class="p1">“Is that what you think?” He replied, faux offense in his tone. “Me? No. Never.” He flashed a genuine smile. “Listen, I missed you. Can’t you just… overlook my bad behavior? Just once?”</p><p class="p1">She rolled her eyes and kissed his lips gently. “You’re such a dick.” In punishment, she nabbed his coffee from his fingers and took a long sip before handing it back to him. Blech, he liked it so much sweeter than she did.<br/>
<br/>
“And you love me for it,” he shot back, winking. She blushed, but a group of students rushed in the door before she could respond.</p><p class="p1">After a few minutes, Mr. Kenobi walked in, Finn managing to rush in and catch the door right behind him. Finn grinned innocently at his teacher’s deadpan glare, quickly rushing to his normal seat - only to find it taken.</p><p class="p1">“Uh…” Finn stammered, eyes taking in the large, dark form of Kylo’s signature leather-clad form. “Ben? You’re in my seat.”<br/>
<br/>
Ben didn’t even look up from his phone. “There aren’t assigned seats in this class.”<br/>
<br/>
Finn desperately looked over to Rey, who simply shrugged. It wasn’t like Ben would get up if she asked him to. “But I always sit here! C’mon, Ben, move.”<br/>
<br/>
The taller boy’s eyes finally looked to him. “Don’t have to.”</p><p class="p1">“You can sit with me, Finn!” Rose piped up, awkwardly waving across the aisle. “Bebe is absent today.” She sheepishly gestured to the empty seat next to her.</p><p class="p1">“Yeah, Finn, sit in the fun aisle,” Jannah piped up, winking at him. “Rey can sit with the ogre if she wants to.”<br/>
<br/>
Finn sighed and walked over to sit with Rose, who looked a bit too excited to have him sit with her. In a way, she was doing Rose and Jannah a favor. Both of them had told her dozens of times how cute they thought Finn was. Finn had had a crush on Rey back in the day, at least according to the rumor mill, but he had moved on to bigger, and Poe-shaped, things. He winced, aware that he would have to navigate this strange new social interaction of girls who liked him. Rey shot him an amused grin and saluted before turning to Mr. Kenobi.</p><p class="p1">“Good morning!” He bellowed, sleeves rolled up and Expo marker in hand.</p><p class="p1">“Morning,” the class replied, still waking up.</p><p class="p1">“We have a shorter class period because of the assembly this afternoon, so I am going to get homework out of the way first and then I think we’ll spend this class in partner work,” he explained, writing ‘PLANET PROJECT’ in large letters on the board. “Some of you may have heard about this project, or maybe you remember this from middle school. Each of you will be pairing up to do a presentation for the seventh grade science students, science fair style. Each pair will be assigned a celestial body,” he continued, writing each of the planets - as well as the sun, the asteroid belt, and the international space station - on the board underneath.<br/>
<br/>
This immediately started a buzz in the class. Everyone did remember this project. It meant an entire day off school giving presentations to the younger kids, as well as a free lunch. Senioritis had already begun to spread after Christmas break, and hearing that they would get an entire day off was music to their ears.</p><p class="p1">A hand shot up at the back of the class. “Are we choosing our partners or are you?”<br/>
<br/>
Mr. Kenobi paused. “Uh…” He looked at the clock by the door. “Damn, class is short today. I’m just gonna go by tables.” A mix of cheers and groans sprinkled the room. Rey didn’t quite miss the smirk on Ben’s face. Mr. Kenobi started calling tables at random, writing their names next to their chosen topic.</p><p class="p1">Rey elbowed Ben. “What the hell, Ben?”<br/>
<br/>
Ben feigned innocence. “What?”<br/>
<br/>
“You did this on purpose!” She shout-whispered.</p><p class="p1">“Me?” He asked. “Why, that would mean that I read over the syllabus, knew today was the start of the Planet Project, and figured that Mr. Kenobi would choose the easiest pairing systembecause the schedule was shortened. And that would be manipulative, Rey.” He smirked. “By the way, Mars.”<br/>
<br/>
“Huh?” Rey’s head spun with everything he just said.<br/>
<br/>
“Rey Jackson and Ben Solo,” Mr. Kenobi repeated, waving his hand at the board.<br/>
<br/>
“Mars,” they both replied. Rey looked down at her desk. How the hell…?<br/>
<br/>
Rey huffed at him, angry that he manipulated this. He shrugged and smiled. “You like rovers.”<br/>
<br/>
The bell rang not long after the projects were finished being assigned. They had three weeks to complete a posterboard and an activity for the younger kids. Rey had stormed out of class, thankful she had her Poetry class - a class without Ben Solo.<br/>
<br/>
Unfortunately, Ben had caught up to her and stopped her, pulling her into a side hallway. Even after everything they had been through, they were still paranoid that someone would catch on to their relationship. “Why are you mad at me?”<br/>
<br/>
“You totally manipulated me!” Rey snapped.<br/>
<br/>
Ben looked down. “Okay, so?” He looked a bit guilty, but not much.<br/>
<br/>
She shoved his shoulder. “Maybe I wanted to work with Finn.”<br/>
<br/>
“And maybe I wanted a good grade,” he shot back. Rey furrowed his eyebrows. He coughed and continued, “Listen, we’re the two smartest people in that class. I’m good at research, you’re good at people. If we work together, we can finish this project in like two days. You’re really going to tell me that Finn was actually going to do half the work?"<br/>
<br/>
Shit, Ben had a point. Rey was juggling the musical, a handful of APs, senior prom planning, and anxiously awaiting her college acceptance letters. Finn was one of her closest friends, but he did tend to wait until the last minute and put most of the work on her. It wasn’t intentional, but she was a detailed person who liked to have it all done at least a few days ahead of time. Ben and Rey had been fighting for top grades since freshman year - this project would be easy with Ben as her partner.<br/>
<br/>
“I also… really missed spending time with you. Without play rehearsals and with all my training days, I haven’t gotten to see you. I just figured it would be nice to hang out again,” he admitted.<br/>
<br/>
They hadn’t spent time together in a while. He had taken her out to dinner for Valentine’s Day - a few towns over to avoid anyone they knew - and given her a bouquet of roses that were still sitting on her desk at him. He had never actually gotten to celebrate it before, so he had told her he would embrace the “cheesy rom-com bullshit” (his words) for one day. It had been rather magical, with a soft snowfall when they walked into the restaurant. And then a disaster when the snow turned to sleet and slurry on their way out, leaving them to pull into an empty parking lot and wait for the weather to calm down. It hadn’t been all bad though - and she had the hickeys hiding under her scarf to prove it.</p><p class="p1">But after that, everything just got crazy. That had been a week ago, and they barely spoke beyond texting since. He had to tried to convince her to let him sneak in, but she had decided against it - her parents had been suspicious ever since she went on a date and returned past curfew. She missed him too, and staring at him during the few classes they had together was torture.</p><p class="p1">She moved up close to him and punched him slightly in the chest. “Don’t you ever pull that shit again without telling me,” she warned. A smile broke out across her face and he wrapped his arms around her waist. “I missed you. Sit together during the assembly?”<br/>
<br/>
He nodded and pressed his mouth to hers, tempting her to skip class like she knew he would. The sound of footsteps broke their kiss. “See you later, princess,” he teased, subtly grabbing her ass before walking away. Rey watched him disappear into a crowd of underclassmen, the sea parting before him. What would she do with that boy?<br/>
<br/>
———</p><p class="p1">Rey fingered the soft wool of her cardigan nervously, eyes trained on the people in front of her. The soft sounds of metal hitting metal, and then silence. She had never been in this room at the school before - it was about the size of two classrooms, with mats on the floors and a small set of bleachers on one side. Rey watched, hypnotized by the thin metal blades and sharp, quick movements. The fencing studio at her school was off in a pretty secluded wing of the school, right beside the boys locker room. It was a strange feeling: discovering a space she had no clue existed. Even stranger was seeing Ben without seeing his face.<br/>
<br/>
Rey had decided to sit and watch Ben’s fencing practice after school, as he had promised to drive her home. And she had to admit - although these guys were the worst of the worst when it comes to bullies and jerks, they really were good. Ben and Hux were the team captains, with six other members, and there seemed to be some slight variations in their blades and styles of fighting.</p><p class="p1">She had met Victor and Trevor at the New Years Party, but she knew the rest of them in passing: Apollo, Carson, Kumar, Utah. They varied in looks, skin-tones, hair styles. However, there was something about them. They were all mature in looks, not a scrawny one amongst them, and stood at least a head taller than her. All of their eyes had this sharp, mischievous glint as they donned their masks. Something twisted in Rey’s stomach as she watched them masterfully spar with one another - there was something alluring about the danger.</p><p class="p1">Secretly, Rey had fantasized about knights and pirates and great adventures when she was young. Too many fairytales and mythology books had filled her head with what could be. The disappointment she felt when she found out that swords and great knights were relics of the past had crushed her, but her attentions had turned upwards - Now she wanted to sail between <em>planets</em> instead of seas.</p><p class="p1">Ben stepped up onto the mat with a challenging smirk, saber in one hand and mask in other. Sweat gleamed off his forehead, his hair clung to his forehead, and his face was flushed from the intense exercise. Heat rushed to Rey’s face as he winked at her and dawned his mask. He became faceless and identical to his partner, who she assumed was Victor, and then assumed a specific position. Rey watched, in awe and fascination, as they attacked one another. Swift strikes, the blades flashing in the overhead light, before stopping suddenly and restarting. She wasn’t quite sure what was happening, or why they kept stopping, but eventually the masks came off again. Victor had won… Apparently. The two playfully shoved at each other, spitting off taunting remarks.</p><p class="p1">The group began to pack up their gear into nearly identical bags, occasionally throwing gloves and water bottles back to their owners. Ben finished quickly, sauntering over to her and taking a swig from his water bottle. It all seemed to happen in slow motion, with Rey’s eyes tracing a drop of water that fell from the corner of his lips. All she could hear was her heartbeat over the soft rock music coming through the stereo in the corner. His hand reaches up and ran his knuckles over his chin, wiping the water from his skin. He quirked an eyebrow at her and his lips turned up in a smirk.</p><p class="p1">“Hey princess,” he drawled, running a hand through his matted hair. She didn’t reply so much as stare, hypnotized by the way the white uniform highlighted his body. It was so different than his usual garb, somehow making his features look darker and his body seem taller. He smirked. “What? Gotta a thing for a man in uniform?”<br/>
<br/>
Rey scoffed. “Just not used to seeing you like this,” she replied, her eyes finally coming back into focus. “I’ve never seen you… I didn’t know you could fight like that.”</p><p class="p1">Ben smirked. “Fighting freshman is too easy, all strength and intimidation. Fencing… It relies a bit more on finesse,” he purred, reaching out to brush his knuckle against her chin. The heat rose in her face as his eyes took in her expression. “Wait here. Fifteen minutes.”</p><p class="p1">He turned on his heel and left the room, off in the direction of the locker room. Rey forced the redness out of her face, digging her phone from her pocket and scrolling. Stupid Ben. Hating herself, she pulled up his profile on one of a half dozen social media apps she had on her phone. He didn’t use it very much, but Phaedra did, which meant there were hundreds of photos he was tagged in. They were exceedingly normal - posing with his tennis team, candids of road trips, mirror shots of pregaming before parties. She had to stop and smile at one that his mother posted of the two of them. Rey had never really thought about Ben’s life before - he had a family and did things with people. And somehow Rey found herself wanting to be a part of it.</p><p class="p1">Ben stepped back into the room causing Rey to shove her phone back into the pocket of her cardigan. His hair was tied up in a tight top knot, a few thin wet locks escaping and falling around his face. She had never seen his hair up before and she could count all of his piercings. He seemed to prefer silver ones, though the lowest one was a small, dark circular stone. He looked nice this way - it was much easier to see his masculine features. He nodded his head towards a side exit and she quickly fell into step beside him. The moment the door closed behind them, Rey felt an arm wrap around her waist and his lips press to her temple.</p><p class="p1">“Thank you for waiting, love,” he murmured. Rey’s stomach twisted at his words, unable to shove down the smile that graced her lips. It wasn’t like he actually <em>said</em> the word like that, but it still sounded so sweet on his lips. She knew she shouldn’t read too much into it. Ben wasn’t the touchy-feely type, as he continued to say, but that didn’t stop the warmth in her chest spreading to her neck and ears.</p><p class="p1">Rey curled up in the passenger seat of his car as they sped down towards her house. Ben’s hand squeezed her thigh affectionately, eyes trained on the road. His hand felt so large against her leg, his thumb sweeping a soft arc into her outer thigh absentmindedly. His nails were trimmed down to a short, uniform length and his veins and tendons raised under the skin. So different than her own, slightly tanned knuckles. Her hand slowly rested on his own causing his lips to turn upwards in a smirk. Damn, he looked so much better when he smiled.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">———</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">Rey rubbed her eyes as she stared at her laptop screen. Her Shakespeare essay mocked her with its blinking cursor on the doc. It wasn’t due for two weeks, but Rey hadn’t even finished her first draft. Her eyes flicked over to the sliver of desktop she had peeking out. The sticky note listing all of the tasks she had yet to complete was stretched halfway down the screen. Her heart raised into her throat as she stared. Hamlet essay for Shakespeare, Mars project for Astronomy, test on 18th century Europe, calling about her internship for her senior project, memorizing the first act for the musical…</p><p class="p1">“I can’t do this.”</p><p class="p1">Rey hadn’t meant to say it out loud. She was sitting at her desk in her room, leaving Ben splayed out on her bed. They had been doing homework for the past two hours, sharing only a few words as they both dove into their work. She had knocked out a few easier tasks, like her math worksheet. She dropped her head into her hands, palms pressing into her eyes.</p><p class="p1">“Hm?” Ben’s head popped up from his notebook.</p><p class="p1">“I can’t do this. It’s too much,” she mumbled, voice cracking on the last syllable. The bed creaked as she felt her palm start to wet with tears. She heard him mutter an expletive and her chair turn to face him, her face still covered. The weight of his arms settled around her back and his shoulder gently collided into the back of her hands, cradling her against his torso. Softly shushing her and pressing his mouth to her hair, he held her. A strangled sob wracked her chest, arms dropping as she pressed her tear filled eyes into his shoulder. He let her cry into him for a moment before she inhaled deeply and raised her head back up.</p><p class="p1">“Sorry,” she sniffed, wiping her eyes.</p><p class="p1">He was crouched in front of her, a look of deep concern on his face. “Rey, you have so much on your plate. It’s okay to be stressed out.” She nodded, not quite able to respond yet. A hand moved from her back to her face, wiping a stray tear streak from her cheek.</p><p class="p1">He was quiet for a minute, letting her calm down, before standing up and closing her laptop. She protested, reaching out to grab it, but he caught her hands and pulled her up to stand. “You need to relax.” He stressed every syllable, eyes serious. He pulled her over to the bed and started clearly his stuff, piling it on the floor. “Lay down.”</p><p class="p1">Rey hesitated, but slowly crawled onto her bed, her back hitting the sheets. She swallowed, still trying to cool her face down from her crying, and the way he was staring at her as he stood beside the bed wasn’t helping. His eyes raked over her and ran his tongue over the edge of his teeth. “As inviting as this position is… Flip over.”</p><p class="p1">Rey’s eyebrows furrowed as her stomach hit the mattress, squeaking when he shifted his weight onto the bed beside her. He straddled her waist and pressed his thumbs into her shoulders, causing her to melt underneath him. Rey couldn’t stop the soft, breathy groan from escaping her lips or the way her muscles began to relax.</p><p class="p1">“You don’t know this about me, Rey, but when I was a kid I had a muscular disorder,” he explained, his thumbs finding the hidden knots just under her shoulder blades. “I was on steroids and in physical therapy for years. Part of my treatment was a massage to stimulate blood flow.” His hands moved down her torso, the edge of his thumbs pressing on either side of her spine. “I still get them before and after the tennis season.” She groaned again as he pressed a bit harder, cracking some of the vertebrae in her back. “Damn, you’re so tense.”</p><p class="p1">Rey felt like crying again. No one, not even her parents, had ever invested so much time in her like this. Ben was nowhere near done with his work, but he dutifully rubbed and massaged and softly stroked every part of her back. He even picked up each of her arms separately and rubbed the tension from her fingers and wrists. He kissed the back of them before letting her rest again, moving to kiss the back of her neck. His hands ventured lower, caressing her lower back.</p><p class="p1">She squirmed as his hands met her ass, squeezing and massaging briefly before heading lower to her thighs. “You have to stay still, princess,” he ordered. She could hear the god-awful smirk in his voice as his hands descended to her calves and ankles, even pressing his thumbs into the arches of her feet.</p><p class="p1">By the time he had finished, Rey felt heavy against the blankets. Her breathing had slowed, her face returned to a normal color, and the shuddering hiccoughs had quieted. He smiled as he laid next to her, wrapping an arm around her waist. “Better?”</p><p class="p1">She nodded and turned to curled into his chest, pressing her face into his neck. “Thank you.”</p><p class="p1">He stroked her dove-soft hair lazily, twirling it between his fingers. “You really need to learn how to relax, babe. Don’t you meditate or masturbate or whatever?” He teased, kissing her nose.</p><p class="p1">Rey’s face flushed a bit, scrunching her nose. “I meditate a few times a week. Doesn’t always help though.”</p><p class="p1">Ben pressed his lips against hers gently, resting his hand on her hips. Somehow, his lazy kisses were her favorite, so soft and loving. She tried to move a hand up to his hair, but his hand caught her wrist. “And the other thing?”</p><p class="p1">Like he had flipped a switch, Rey pressed her thighs together. Between the sharpness of his dark eyes and the gentle firmness of his hand around her wrist, the air around them seemed to still. Her heartbeat pounded in her ears as he moved to loom over her, pressing her held wrist into the sheets beside her head. Damn it, why did he have to be so <em>big</em>? Her hazel eyes flicked to his lips, her mind twisting with thoughts. She realized he was waiting for an answer.<br/>
<br/>
“Ben,” she whined, turning her face to one side.</p><p class="p1">“What?” he mocked, pressing kisses to her exposed neck. “I just want to know if you touch yourself. Do you think about me?” She felt his lips curl up as he nipped at her throat.</p><p class="p1">“Ben!” she whined louder, pushing up against his hand and trying to get out from under his weight. He playfully pressed her wrist back down, and she grit her teeth, wrapping her leg around his and pushing upwards, flipping them over. He barked out a laugh as the two started to wrestle, attempting to pin the other underneath. Ben was strong, but Rey was small and flexible. The two scrambled for a bit, laughing and untangling and retangling limbs.</p><p class="p1">Suddenly, Ben grabbed Rey’s waist and kissed her, his tongue slipping past hers. She froze, one leg wrapped around his waist, effectively trapping his thigh against her hips. Melting into him felt so easy now as she pushed away the thoughts of the last time he had kissed her in this bed.</p><p class="p1">He pulled away from her, lips still wet from her kiss. “So, do you? Think about me?”</p><p class="p1">Rey rolled her eyes and rested her head back on the blankets in a huff, eyes closed. “I dunno, do you think about me?” She snapped.</p><p class="p1">“Yes,” he replied simply. Her eyes shot open again. She wanted to wipe that smirk off his face, but she didn’t have much time to think as he kissed her neck. “So?”</p><p class="p1">She was quiet, eyes down. “I, uh… I do <em>things</em>. And… sometimes.” She had never talked about masturbation before kissing Ben Solo - why was he like this? “Do we really have to discuss this?”</p><p class="p1">Smile falling to a serious expression, his voice fell to a purr. He leaned in closer, his lips grazing her ear as his fingers drifted through her hair and slowly traced her throat. “No, I suppose not. I could show you a better way to relax.”</p><p class="p1">Relaxation was the last thing on her mind when his hips met her own, pressing delicious pressure against her core. Why did he have to know her weaknesses? It wasn’t fair, the things he could do to her with just his clothed body. He wasn’t even touching her anywhere he shouldn’t - his hands were on her waist, thumbs grazing her hip bones as his hips lazily ground against hers. They drifted beneath her shirt, teasing the skin above the waist of her jeans. Rey squirmed again, desperate for the friction against her center.</p><p class="p1">He clicked his tongue as she moved, feigning a scold. “My, my… So impatient and needy.”</p><p class="p1">What was even happening? They had barely been able to speak to each other for the past few weeks, and now they were tangled up in bed with his teeth biting down on her lower lip and his thumbs starting to pull her jeans lower, just to run his thumbnail over the hypersensitive skin. She gasped and caught his gaze, tensing up at the touch. The words didn’t come, but her eyes went wide as her face flushed again.</p><p class="p1">He froze, not venturing further but also not retreating. “Rey? Are you okay?”</p><p class="p1">“I just… Uh…” She struggled to articulate her words.</p><p class="p1">Ben kept his gaze locked on her own. “I can stop if you want me to.”</p><p class="p1">There he went again, being sweet and caring about her. Why did he have to do that? When Ben looked at her that way and reassured her of her safety, it made her feel so safe. Safe enough to press boundaries. Her thighs tense and pressed together again.</p><p class="p1">Ben moved one hand to the back of her neck and pressed her forehead to his own. “I want to make you feel good, Rey. If anything doesn’t feel good or you want me to stop, you can tell me, okay?” He attempted to cover his eagerness with his sincere words, but it seeped through as his thumb continued to rub soothing circles into her skin. She only nodded, pressing her lips to his own as permission.</p><p class="p1">Ben took a moment to kiss her thoroughly, relaxing her with the rhythm of his tongue and lips. For once, he kept his teeth to himself. His hand, meanwhile, quickly busied itself with the button of her jeans. Ben mumbled a frustrated expletive against her lips as he struggled to undo it with one hand, but quickly succeeded. His palm slid against her stomach as his fingers brushed past the lace of her panties and rested on her inner thigh. His hand felt strong and determined as he hesitated. Rey realized - he really thought she would push him away. She nearly did at the foreign sensation of his hand so close to her sex, but the graze of his hand had sent tiny sparks through her. She could wait… See if this really did help her relax…</p><p class="p1">After a moments pause, Ben’s large hand rested between her legs, cupping her warm sex in his hand. Dragging the flats of his fingers across the growing wetness, he moaned softly against her. Her hips jerked as his middle finger stuttered across her clit. Fuck, what was this? Was it normal to feel this sensitive? To… need him, suddenly? He repeated the action a few times, putting more pressure against her sensitive bud until she was squirming again. His finger tried to find it beneath the soft fabric, but he quickly found that task easier said than done.</p><p class="p1">Rey parted her lips from his as his nails slowly dragged along the edge of her thigh. “B-Ben…” she moaned, her eyes slipping shut.</p><p class="p1">She felt the tip of his tongue trace up her neck, as if he could taste her quickening pulse. Ben’s fingers traced over the upper edge of her panties, asking a silent permission, before slipping his fingers down and resting the pad of his middle finger on her clit. Rey whimpered, jerking her head to one side.</p><p class="p1">“Relax, baby,” he purred, starting to rub slow, rhythmic circles against her. Her hand met his chest and she clutched onto his shirt, dipping her head to hide in his shoulder. Quickly, he adjusted so he could look down at her. “No, no. I want to see your face when I do this.”</p><p class="p1">Two fingers brushed along her slit, collecting her slick and spreading it over her slit. She gasped, struggling to speak. He smirked, circling her clit a few more times until she whimpered again. “Rey… You’re so cute,” he drawled, slipping his middle finger inside her.</p><p class="p1">It was a shot of adrenaline through her blood, but something foreign all together. Even alone, she had never fingered herself before. Sure, she had fantasized about her hands and what it would be like. She had seen countless videos before, but she had never been brave enough to try it herself. It was strange at first, like it didn’t quite belong, but after a few pumps of his finger, he added a second and her head fell back against the sheets. He pressed hard, wet kisses to her exposed throat as his fingers worked inside of her. What was this feeling? She had thought it would be like when she rubbed herself at night, but this felt different. Mature somehow, and much more forbidden. She needed more.</p><p class="p1">Rey took a moment to focus. “B-Ben… Please…”<br/>
<br/>
He lifted his head up. “What is it, princess? Do you like it when I finger you like this?”</p><p class="p1">Goddamn, that voice. That sweet, mocking tone of voice. He was making fun of her, and she felt so helpless. The arrogance was dripping off of him now. All that sweet sincerity had shifted away, and for just a second, he was Ben Solo, her arch nemesis. Ben Solo, the school bully, her sworn enemy, was fingering her pussy in her own bed. The thought of that alone made her moan again. Fuck, through all this, she had started to forget who Ben was. Ben, with his leather jacket and ripped jeans and arrogant smirk… His powerful stance and sharp eyes and strong arms. His large fingers that worked in and out of her like he was made to do this, her pussy getting wetter and wetter as he stretched her. Ben Solo was fucking her with his fingers.</p><p class="p1">“B-Ben… Don’t t-talk like…” Rey started, gasping as he shifted his hand and hit something inside her. Oh fuck, what had he just done? It was like a drug hit of ecstasy stemmed from between her legs. Her voice lost its power and her hips were moving of their own accord.</p><p class="p1">His hand stilled. “I think you like it when I talk like this,” he said. His fingers curled upwards against that spot again, making her hips jerk against his hand. He chuckled darkly. “I think you like it when I finger you like this too… You’re so wet for me…”</p><p class="p1">His fingers began to press endlessly against that spot. She felt herself starting to tense around him as he back rose off the bed in an arch. Her mouth attempted to form words, but she couldn’t get more than a weak whimper out as the feeling built and built inside her. “B-Ben!” She gasped, starting to shake from the tension. It was a pleasure she had never felt before, a thousand times what it was like to kiss him the first time.</p><p class="p1">He smiled, eyes half lidded. Fuck, he was enjoying this as much as she was, considering the way he was panting and smirking at her. “Let go. Cum for me.” He pressed his palm against her clit hard, and it sent her right over the edge. Her muscles tensed to the point of shaking, her mouth opening wide as if she was screaming, only managing a strangled whimper and soft moan as she settled back down to the bed. She could still feel his fingers inside her, surrounded by the fluttering of her walls.</p><p class="p1">Gently, he removed his fingers and slid them over her clit one last time, still coated in her slick. She jerked, oversensitive from his stimulation. Panting hard as he removed his hand from her completely, Rey immediately crushed herself into him, hiding her flushed face in his chest. His arms quickly enveloped her, brushing over her back calmly.</p><p class="p1">“You okay?” he mumbled against her hair, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. She hummed an affirmative, still breathing shakily. So that was an orgasm. Rey had seen them in videos and read about them in her dirty stories, but that… that felt so different than ones she had felt before.</p><p class="p1">The two laid in her bed a while quietly as she came down from her high. After a few deep inhales of his cologne, Rey tilted her head up to meet his eyes. They were closed and his lips were parted slightly, breathing slowly. It was rare to see him so relaxed and… content? Why did it send such a thrill through her that the school brute, a man who could snap her in half if he wished it, was calmed by her touch? She experimentally reached up to stroke her hand across his cheek, only to have him tilt his face against it, nuzzling her knuckles. It was like befriending a wolf, a lion, a bear, a wild beast who had love and affection only for her.</p><p class="p1">Shit, that word again. It washed over her heart in a way that wasn’t completely unpleasant, but frightened her. But in a way, it was true. They definitely had loving tendencies toward each other, but the word by itself felt so permanent and loud. His face shifted and he nipped at the tip of her finger, pressing his lips softly to her. Even in his calm state, he wanted to annoy her somehow.</p><p class="p1">She smirked and shifted up to kiss him, letting out a small squeak. Ben had pulled her close, a hand groping her ass, and his eyes shot open.</p><p class="p1">“Not finished, love?” He purred, eyes locked on hers. Something in them, a spark, made her unwilling to look away. “Aren’t you insatiable?”</p><p class="p1">A thought appeared in her mind that she couldn’t quite shake. He snaked a hand down between them as his parted lips inched closer to her own. Before she could stop herself, Rey pinned the bully’s wrists to the sheets and flipped them so she was atop his hips. The air exhaled from his lungs with a harsh sound, and the sharp arrogance in his eyes faded to a wide curiosity. Fuck, this was somehow worse. The soft plump pink of his lips were so close to her and he looked so helpless - A lie, of course, but he was playing nice for the moment. He seemed shocked by her boldness… and aroused considering the growing hardness against her crotch.</p><p class="p1">“I want…” she started, unsure how to word this. Her eyes darted down across his chest as she found the words. “Do you trust me?”</p><p class="p1">A soft smirk grew into the corner of his lips. “Implicitly.”</p><p class="p1">Rey ignored how her toes curled at the way he drew out the word and wrapped it around her. Focus, bravery, Rey. Her lips pressed to the column of his throat and she felt him relax under her, his dark locks flowing out around his head against the sheets. Gradually, her hand traced down against the soft texture of his shirt, following the lines of his muscles. With a sharp inhale, she shifted her hips downward and undid the button of his pants. A low moan vibrated through his chest as his hand reached up to trace her shoulder with a feathery touch.</p><p class="p1">She slowly shifted off of him, her lips and tongue lavishing his neck with attention as her fingers hesitantly undid the zipper. They laid beside one another now, with heartbeats steadily quickening. Unexpected, but not unwelcome boldness.</p><p class="p1">As she slipped her hand inside, she finally let herself indulge in the size of him. She didn’t have much in the form of reference, besides the few naked men she had seen in television and porn, but the size of him seemed large in her hand. Fuck, what was she supposed to do here? Her face brightened as she gingerly let her hand rest across it, marveling how it seemed to fit naturally in her palm. The farther she went in this forbidden realm of life, the more natural it all seemed. He let out a soft hiss at the pressure of her hand, stroking her hair absentmindedly.</p><p class="p1">Fuck, fuck, fuck. Something in his half-lidded bliss and the vulnerable state of him made Rey’s heart pound in her chest. The lines between lust and affection started to blur the moment she allowed herself to look at him in this state. The soft groan that escaped his plush lips as she squeezed his length nearly undid her completely.</p><p class="p1">She slipped her hand into his boxers, wrist bending uncomfortably due to the stronger elastic. His length felt warm and silky in her hand, but the muscles beneath were hard and pulsed with his heartbeat. She experimentally stroked him, hand gripping too hard, causing a strangled groan from him. By the furrowed look on his brow, it was painful.</p><p class="p1">Rey started to pull her hand away from his length when his larger hand gently caught it. His soft eyes focused on hers as his body shifted, slipping his pants and boxers down to give easier access. As much as Rey secretly wanted to look down and see him, something in his chocolatey stare captivated her. He raised her hand to his lips and softly kissed her knuckles.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Let me show you.</em>
</p><p class="p1">He turned her hand over and he licked her palm, leaving a thick coat of saliva. Her core tightened at the feeling of his wet tongue on her, unable to react much beyond a quiet, high-pitched groan. He guided her hand back down to wrap around him, his warm hand covering her own. He instantly hissed and sunk his teeth into his lower lip, muscles tensing. Ah, so this is what he liked. Rey stroked slower, with a gentler touch, and his hand jumped from her own to the blanket.</p><p class="p1">She managed a peek down as his eyes slid shut again. The skin of his cock was more yellow and tan in tone than the rest of him, with a soft pink head. Beneath the soft skin were a few raised veins that snaked down his length and a modest trimming of dark hair nested around the base of him. Her hand fit around him comfortably, with a few inches to spare in length. A small white bead of liquid sat at the very top, and his hips jerked upwards as her thumb brushed over it. Oh… So he liked that? She did it again, settling into a rhythm of stroking him and running her thumb gently over the reddened tip of his cock.</p><p class="p1">His breathing suddenly became erratic, and a soft red blush tinted his cheeks and neck. “F-fuck… Rey… You’re so gentle…” His hips jerked again with a hiss. “Close…”</p><p class="p1">If she could have bottled the look on his face, she would have kept it forever. She didn’t stop, even when one of his hands shifted his shirt up to reveal his stomach. Suddenly, a low, strangled sound rumbled through him and his fingers dug into her back. “Rey!” He moaned, finding her lips with his as his cock pulsed in her hand, a liquid spilling over her fingers onto his abdomen. She nearly jumped at the feeling, but calmly stroked once more before letting his cock slip from her grasp.</p><p class="p1">He inhaled and exhaled heavily, eyes blinking open as he fumbled for the box of tissues on her bedside table. Rey blushed as she looked at her hand, the sticky lubricant-like substance coating her fingers. A thought rushed into her. All those videos… Women seemed to like this stuff. Maybe… She tentatively brushed the tip of her tongue against her middle finger, tasting him. Huh. Bitter, salty, not as good as they made it seem.</p><p class="p1">Ben’s eyes were wide and his mouth gaped in awe. He had paused in his cleanup to stare at this unknowingly erotic display. She caught his eyes and a soft groan left him, refocusing to clean up. She blushed, cleaning off her hand and throwing away the evidence.</p><p class="p1">Ben righted his clothing and grabbed onto her, lips centimeters away. “I want you. So badly.” Rey blushed but pressed herself close to him, enjoying the haze that seemed to have fallen around the room. “Rey, I-”</p><p class="p1">A noise downstairs. Fuck, her parents were home - she had completely forgotten they weren’t alone in the house. Ben exhaled, a strange look on his face. Frustration? Defeat? He said nothing else, just pulled her to close to his chest and stroked her hair. Homework could wait until tomorrow. Right now, Rey just wanted Ben.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey yall! Hope you enjoy this chapter... Phew, I love these two, but goddamn tension is a helluva drug. </p><p>Anyway, I went to the mall recently and all I could think of were ways to cosplay these two. So that may be a thing at some point. </p><p>Leave me some love!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Springtime Blues</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Springtime is always just a touch more grim when it's your last one together.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spring had finally sprung, and the high school students were enjoying every moment of it. The harsh winter chills were warming into rainstorms, and the snow had begun to melt. The boys had begun to wear athletic shorts, while the girls had ditched the cardigans and fluffy sweaters for light jackets and hoodies. Ben himself had taken to a lighter leather jacket and sneakers, while many in his crew had forgone their jackets and heavier coverings altogether. He didn't know what it was about the jacket - it just felt right to wear it. </p>
<p>Today was a big day, however. Spring had begun to blossom, and the school had started to transform. He was never one for "school spirit" or anything, but Tennis season was around the corner. Whispers of a sports rally had begun and posters for the spring musical had started to pop up all over the school. The only thing Ben hated about spring were the prom-posals. They were always so garish and unnecessary - why make a big deal out of asking someone to a dance? It wasn't even that important...</p>
<p>At least, he thought so until he had decided to go.</p>
<p>He had battled himself all spring break about what to do about prom. His own mother requested that he go, even just with his friends, to make her happy. And Hux and the boys were renting a limo with their dates and invited him to come with them. At first, he had declined, but then he saw that stupid facebook post. Rey had posted asking about where to buy a prom dress. Since then, he hadn't quite gotten the image to leave his mind. The thought of her draped in satin, hair done up, holding onto his arm... He hated to think of himself as romantic, since he definitely wasn't, but he couldn't quite shake the smile on his lips when he thought of it.</p>
<p>Taking a breath, he stalked into the cafeteria. Eyes on the prize, eyes on the prize. Get in, get out, easy. Finally, the nerd- Rey's table. Even after all this time, self-correcting was difficult. Shit, she wasn't there... Only that little mousy stage-manager, Rose, and that nerdy kid, Finn. They'd be perfect for each other - couple of space cases. </p>
<p>"Hey, uh, Rose," Ben started. How the hell was he supposed to talk to her?</p>
<p>The small, round-faced girl poked her head up and managed a polite, yet bewildered smile. "Oh, uh, hey Ben! What's up?"</p>
<p>"Have you seen Rey?" he asked pointedly.</p>
<p>"Rey?" she echoed. "I think she's in a student council meeting this lunch period."</p>
<p>He frowned. Rey hadn't said anything about that... He forced himself not to slump or frown too much. He cleared his throat. "Uh... Thanks. Hey, Rose, you're on the prom committee, right?"</p>
<p>The girl nodded twice. "Mmmhmm! Me and Rey are both on it!"</p>
<p>Fuck, force a smile, try and keep this casual. He ignored the burning stare from Finn, who was clearly only pretending to scroll through his phone. Ben leaned against the table. "So do committee members have like, some special VIP thing, or?"</p>
<p>"What? No!" Rose giggled. Good, she seemed to be opening up. "No, we're all just kinda coupling off, like anyone. I'm bringing Beebee, Poe is bringing his boyfriend, Jannah hasn't figured it out yet, Rey's going with Finn..." She kept talking after that, but Ben didn't hear her. His eyes slowly traced from Rose's face to the smirk on Finn's lips. His fingers flexed harshly around the strap of his bookbag. Fuck, he needed to punch something. He didn't even manage a goodbye as he stormed away from the table, shoving a freshman out of his path.</p>
<p>God. Fucking. Damn it.</p>
<p>He stormed out, past the trembling freshmen and crowd of seniors on their way to class. He needed to think, to be alone, to get himself together-</p>
<p>A hand wrapped around one of his biceps. Without much thought, he turned towards the person, about to tell them off. Those hazel eyes stopped him in his tracks and he felt the knot in his stomach jump into his throat.</p>
<p>"Hey Ben!" Rey greeted cheerfully. A beat, then she frowned. "Ben? Are you okay?"</p>
<p>The stare felt like it lasted a century before he shook her hand off of him. He didn't want her to touch him, maybe not ever again. What the fuck was this? He grit his teeth and shook his head, unwilling to give in to the pressure building behind his eyes. "Don't talk to me, Rey." He let himself have one last selfish look at her pale face before storming off, through one of the emergency exits, running all the way to his spot behind the shed.</p>
<p>He fell onto the bench and gripped his dark hair in his fists. Fuck, what was happening to him? A few months ago, he hadn't planned on going to the stupid prom at all. A few months ago, he would have just kicked the shit out of some freshman when he felt this angry. Was it anger? Maybe, but that didn't feel right. Jealousy? Ben Solo didn't get jealous - he had everything he could ever want.</p>
<p>Except her.</p>
<p>Goddamn, since when did he even want her? Such a dumb little thing like a kiss in a school play had him almost in tears. What had happened to him? This was such soft, gushy bullshit. And her! How could she go to prom with Finn? They hadn't talked about it, but they were friends, weren't they? Why didn't she say anything? God, he was a moron. She just wanted to feel rebellious for a while before hopping right back on the goody-two-shoes train before graduation. The pressure behind his eyes grew and he pressed his palms into them. How could he have been so stupid?</p>
<p>And now he was crying. God, what a pussy. Why would he... He took a breath and stood to face the shed. Picking up a rock, he hurled it as hard as he could against the shed wall, listening to the deafening reverberations. Suddenly, he punched his fists against it, over and over and over, listening to that deafening sound between his own cries of anger. One of his knuckles split open - he didn't stop. After a few minutes, he slowed and rested his forearms against the wall.</p>
<p>Fuck... He cared about her. He cared about her so goddamn much that even when he was beyond angry, he still wished she was here. Rey always knew how to make him feel better... </p>
<p>And for the first time in his life, Ben Solo admitted, to that shed and that bench and the countless burnt out cigarettes that littered the floor, his greatest secret and let himself accept it.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Rey had been having a fine day until Ben had decided to be so rude to her. At first, she rationalized. Maybe it wasn't even about her - It could have been a bad grade or a teacher or a detention. But then he was ignoring her texts, her calls, even her pointed looks during class. He sat as far away from her as possible, even skipping a few classes they shared. And the way he had said her name, "Rey", like it was poison or something... What had she done?</p>
<p>Ben was just being Ben, she realized sadly, picking at her lunch. Suddenly, the terrible cardboard strips they called spaghetti didn't look appetizing at all. The rest of the table was buried in their phones or discussing the latest episode of some television show. She hadn't heard a word of it. All she could think about was the leather-clad brute sitting six tables away that hadn't kissed her in over a week.</p>
<p>She wanted to run over to him, slap the angst from his angular face, and kiss him until he stopped his goddamn attitude. Lord, he always did this. Got her so riled up and angry and upset. Why did she even bother? There were plenty of guys in this school who would go out with her. Plenty of guys who didn't constantly push her away. </p>
<p>Finn, for example. Yeah, he had a crush on Poe, but he liked Rey too. At least, enough to ask her to prom. It was sweet how he had done it to: No frills or big gestures. The group had been hanging out at Poe's place, just playing some games, when he handed her a fake flower and a card that read "Be My Prom Date?". It was goddamn adorable. At first she had been worried about saying yes, since she knew Rose had feelings, but she had reassured Rey that she already had a date. Her friend went to a school that didn't have prom, so she was bringing him so he could experience it. Besides, it wasn't really a couple's thing anyway, just a group activity.</p>
<p>At least Ben wouldn't be there. He had made his feelings about dances and prom and school activities very clear: "If I don't have to be there, I'm not."</p>
<p>"But Rey doesn't actually care that much, do you Rey?"</p>
<p>Her head snapped up. Finn was looking at her with desperate eyes, nodding. Fuck, she had not been paying attention at all. "Sorry, I totally zoned out, what?" She faked a smile, attempting to gain context from the faces of her friends.</p>
<p>Finn gave her a smile so fake that it hurt. "Poe's date for prom dumped him this weekend. He already bought two tickets, and since you get to go for free... You wouldn't mind if me and Poe went together, right?"</p>
<p>Rey was torn between hurt and laughter. The desperation and pleading in Finn's eyes was bordering on pathetic - the idiot was head over heels. But he had asked Rey. And they had planned to attend together - she had already told people. A lump formed in Rey's throat. First Ben, now Finn? Her mouth opened to give her honest answer: She was pissed, hurt, and definitely was not okay with that idea. But then she looked at Poe.</p>
<p>The curly-haired teen looked goddamn heartbroken. Poe was generally such a happy, outgoing guy with energy and conversation to spare. Right now, he was looking at her through red-rimmed eyes and his face was pale. Fuck, he really had gotten dumped, hadn't he? And Poe had been one of her first friends in this town. He was like a brother to her and he had always looked out for her, no matter what. Goddamn it. </p>
<p>She inhaled deeply and smiled sadly. "Yeah, of course not. You two should go together - you'd make a cute couple. Finn's a great guy, Poe."</p>
<p>Rey watched the world through a window - it was like she wasn't even there. Poe sniffled and nodded, while Finn wrapped his arm around the teen to console him. Rose grinned and started talking excitedly with Jannah about... Rey couldn't even pay attention. Now she would be alone again. She would go to prom, alone. Go home on Friday night, alone. God, in what world was that fair? She had bought the dress, the shoes, the accessories. She had planned the whole stupid event. A boy had actually had the guts to ask her, even if it was just as friends. This was supposed to be a night she would enjoy, that she could remember for the rest of her life. All she really wanted was a few cute photos with her friends, a proper slow dance, and a kiss goodnight. Maybe some pictures she could get in the yearbook or print out and hang on her college wall. The date didn't even have to lead to anything - she just wanted something memorable and be able to say she went to prom with someone that cared about her.</p>
<p>As fun as going to prom in a group was, Rey still wanted to attend with a date. She sat the rest of her lunch period in silence.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Everything and Nothing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I think this chapter is the one most people have been waiting for.</p><p>Don't worry, there's one more after this that is the OTHER thing people have been waiting for.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Hey."</p><p>Rey felt the phone buzz beneath her leg. Tearing her eyes from the trashy television show, she glanced down and typed out a quick reply.</p><p>"Hey Ben."</p><p>She rolled her eyes and tried to get back into her show, but her heart wasn't in it. Fucking dick - it had been days since their scuffle in the hallway and now he was gonna text her with one word? Stuffing another handful of popcorn into her mouth, she eyed her phone again.</p><p>"Sorry about the other day. This week kinda sucked for me and I just wanted to be alone - sorry I didn't wanna talk earlier."</p><p>Rey sighed and paused before typing back. "Are you okay? You really made me think I pissed you off."</p><p>A fast response this time. "I'll be fine. Honestly, I was just pissed at myself for being an idiot. Missed opportunities."</p><p>The clock read 6:30. Rey was supposed to be at prom a half hour ago, helping to set up. After sobbing to Rose about her feelings, she said she would cover for Rey somehow. No one on the committee or student council was happy with her, but for once she was going to do something for herself. They didn't really need her - the rest of the group would do fine without her.</p><p>"Yeah," she typed, "I get that. It's okay, I'm glad you're doing better. I missed you." She topped it off with a little heart emoji.</p><p>A slower reply, taking a few minutes. "How's set up?" he asked.</p><p>"Wouldn't know. Staying home." Even after all this, she still didn't want to talk about her decision to stay home. Her parents weren't happy with her, but they couldn't force her to go. No, she had resigned herself to lying on this couch all night watching crap television. Later, she may head to Rose's sleepover to get the gossip, but even that was pretty tentative. After everything she had done to prepare for Prom, even the thought of seeing her friends tonight sent a harsh pang to her stomach.</p><p>Her phone buzzed several times.</p><p>"Wait, what?"<br/>"What happened with Finn?"<br/>"What are you doing rn?"</p><p>Three texts? Ben barely managed a double text most days. Rey sat up and leaned against the overstuffed armrest. "He's going with Poe. Long story. Decided to stay home instead of going stag, just watching TV. Wanna hang out?"</p><p>After fifteen minutes passing, she tossed her phone across the couch. Asshole couldn't even manage to text back? He was probably out with the boys or something, maybe there was a party in another town that didn't have prom. Whatever. Rey pulled up her blanket over her fuzzy socks and flannel pajama bottoms, cuddling in deeper to her couch. It was nice of the makeup and hair people at the mall to return her deposit after she explained what happened. And while she couldn't return the dress, there would be other occasions. Or maybe she'd send it to her cousin next year. Her mind strayed off on a stream of consciousness, only half awake in front of the TV.</p><p>---</p><p>At 7:15, there was a loud knock at the door. Rey stretched from her spot, wondering if her parents had ordered takeout. They better have ordered online if they weren't going to leave her cash for a tip. Though she could probably scrounge up a few dollars if the guy was patient-</p><p>She opened the door. No words came to mind as she took in what she was looking at: Ben Solo was standing at her front door, dressed in what would have been a very well-fitted tuxedo if it wasn't for the pouring rain that had soaked him to the bone. At first, neither of them said anything. His hair was drenched, sticking to his forehead despite his efforts to push it back.</p><p>After a long pause, Ben finally spoke. "Go to prom with me." The words came out, tumbling faster than he meant them to. Rey cocked an eyebrow, mouth still parted in confusion. Ben cleared his throat and tried again. "Sorry. Rey, will you go to prom with me, please?" He tried tacking on that "please" with as much sweetness as he could manage, but he still rushed through his words. </p><p>It was like the blood had rushed to her head all at once, making the world spin under her feet. "What? What are you doing here?"</p><p>Ben inhaled deeply, looking down at her feet. "I... This was probably a dumb decision, but that's not new for me. I came here because I want to go to prom with you." His fingers fidgeted a bit at his sides, like he wasn't sure what to do. This was again a new Ben - a Ben who was second guessing himself.</p><p>Rey shook her head and wiped a hand over her face, leaning against the doorframe. Her immediate instinct to let him inside, out of the rain, had dissipated. Reassuring herself that he was truly there and this wasn't a dream, she continued. "Why would you want to bring me to prom? I thought you said that prom was stupid."</p><p>The dark-haired boy's head fell back and his groaned softly, clearly having some internal frustration. Rey parted her lips to speak again, but he cut her off.</p><p>"Because that's what a boyfriend does, Rey!"</p><p>A beat. A longer beat. Silence.</p><p>What... had he just said? She must have been hearing wrong - there was no way he could have said... She took a long, hard look at him. His soaking wet hair, the well-fitting tux, the shoes. Her eyes ghosted over his chest. He was panting, like he had been carrying a weight and had finally dropped it. Boyfriend... He really had said boyfriend. And he really did want to take her to prom. After all that bullshit though! After ghosting her and throwing her aside for a week - and beyond that, their countless arguments and constant drama and how angry he was and how angry he made her-</p><p>"What happened to 'relationships are hard'?" she spat, a touch more acidly than she meant to.</p><p>All pretense of strength and tension left his face as he finally looked her in the eye. His brown eyes locked on hers, and he muttered on an exhale, "Life is a hell of a lot harder without you."</p><p>The weight of the everything that had happened finally hit Rey in the chest. Finn ditching her, the price of the dress, the disappointment of her parents, letting the committee down... No, she was upset because she wanted a high school story. She just wanted to feel normal for once, for people to see her like she was. Not just some goody-goody kiss ass who people pretended to like. She wanted... everyone to see what Ben saw.</p><p>Rey swallowed back the lump in her throat. "You are such an asshole. A completely clueless, thoughtless, oafish brute." He cringed at her insults, but said nothing. The damn broke and her finally let a few tears break. "And a complete romantic cliche for asking me now." She wiped at her eyes and a grin started to form on her lips. </p><p>His anticipation of anger morphed into hope at her expression, and with a beat to confirm her smile, he lunged forward. Ben's arms wrapped around her small waist, picking her up and kissing her hard, lips desperately claiming her own. Rey barely registered the rain soaking through her pajamas as he kissed her and held her tightly against his chest. His. She was his. And she had him all to herself.</p><p>Once he had his fill and needed to breathe, Ben set Rey back in her doorway. "So will you go with me? As my girlfriend?" The word came out strangely, as if he was still deciding if he liked how it sounded. This would take some getting used to. His arms were locked around her, refusing to let her go. One week was far too long to be away from her now, and even ten seconds was too long to not be kissing her. If happiness was a drug, he was more than addicted. Had he ever been this happy? Not a single tennis victory, nor perfect grade, nor kickass party had ever given him even a fraction of this. All he wanted to do was kiss her and hold her and show her off to the world. His girl. His. </p><p>The grin she gave him nearly had him on his knees. "We're going to be very late."</p><p>He shrugged. "Who the hell shows up on time to a party?"</p><p>---</p><p>The next forty-five minutes were stressful, for a multitude of reasons. At the sound of the commotion, both of Rey's parents had emerged from the kitchen to find their daughter tangled up in the arms of a soaked-through punk they had only met twice before. After giving a (very brief) explanation, Rey's mother was over the moon for her daughter, rushing her upstairs to help her get ready. And that left Ben alone with Rey's father. After giving Ben something to dry off with, they had a very, very long talk. This was the part Ben had never done before - Lucy's parents were never around so he never had to have the shotgun fear before. As their conversation concluded, the sound of Rey's mother coming downstairs was a thankful interruption.</p><p>Rey's father put a hand out to Ben, shaking the younger man's hand. "Take care of her. What time is the event over?"</p><p>"Midnight, but I have a sleepover at Rose's."</p><p>The voice came from the bottom of the stairs, and Ben nearly lost his balance. A goddess stood at the bottom of the stairs, draped in cream and white. The neckline met in a sweet v, not to daring or plunging, paired with sweet butterfly sleeves. It was the skirt that made Ben swallow hard in his throat - the draping fabric had a slit up one side, all the way to her mid thigh, showing off the strappy golden high heels she wore. Ben sunk his teeth into his tongue to keep from reacting - he would have time in the car.</p><p>Her father kissed his daughters cheek, having her spin for him. "You look beautiful, sweetheart!" </p><p>Nearly immediately, her mother began snapping pictures of them, much to Rey's chagrin. "I love you both, but do we have to do this?"</p><p>Ben pulled her in closer, holding her back gently against his chest. His other hand fished in his pocket, handing his cellphone to her mother. "Actually... can you take a few with this? I..." He sighed dejectedly. "I promised my mother."</p><p>Finally, after nearly an hour, the pair escaped the house and nearly ran to Ben's car. The rain had stopped, leaving only a light sprinkle, but any more time under the watchful eye of her parents was going to make one of them explode. Panting, they finally sat back in the car, quickly driving off alone towards the hotel listed on the invitation.</p><p>After ten minutes, the silence was driving Ben insane. At a stoplight, he turned his head to devour her with his eyes. "You look FUCKING gorgeous, darling."</p><p>A pink tinge spread up Rey's neck and face, looking at her fidgeting hands. "Do you have to say that?" She scrunched her nose in faux annoyance, slightly smacking Ben's arm. </p><p>He caught her hand with his own and kissed her knuckles, almost too tenderly. What had happened to Ben the asshole? Ben the brute? He let her fingers slip from his and gently let his hand rest on her thigh, squeezing gently. "I believe as your boyfriend, I am the only one who gets to say that. And that the slit in that dress reminds me how badly I want your legs wrapped around me." The smirk on his face read perfectly clear as he continued to speed off. Ah, there he was. No matter - the way he said boyfriend and kissed her fingers made her heart bloom. He had nurtured a garden in there since that first date and it only grew as time went on.</p><p>Stupid Ben.</p><p>Before long, Ben was pulling his car into the parking lot and turned off the engine. There weren't very many students around, as the prom had a strict no re-entry policy, and the lights from the inside of the hotel were bright and garish. Exactly as she had planned it to be.</p><p>Rey fought the urge to bite at her lip and ruin her makeup. "Ben?" she asked, eyes glued to the hotel entryway. "Are you sure you wanna do this? Like... tell everyone?" He was quiet in response, only shifting in the driver's seat. Turning to look at him, she immediately regretted the question. The hurt in Ben's eyes said more than enough. Fuck. Sweetly, she grabbed him hand in hers. "Not like that! I just... I don't want to start a fight. Poe doesn't like you and Hux clearly doesn't like me and I just... I don't wanna argue tonight."</p><p>Ben shifted to lace his fingers with hers, nearly encompassing her tiny hand. "Hey. We're gonna be okay. I care about you, and you care about me, and we're dating. And if anyone in there has a problem with it, that's on them. We're going to have fun anyway. Okay?" She nodded and offered a shy smile, squeezing his hand. "Rey... I-"</p><p>A screech of car tires from the adjacent street caused them both to jump. Rey let her hand fall away and opened her door. "We should head inside..." Secretly, she was thankful for the interruption - that one syllable had sent a strange knot to her stomach and she wasn't sure what it meant yet. Being with Ben did such strange things to her. The knot only tightened when he wrapped his arm around her as they walked inside.</p><p>Rey quickly made a beeline for the check-in desk, allowing Ben to take her jacket to the coatroom while she handled the tickets. Being class president had its perks - one of them being free tickets to school events. The judging eyes of her fellow classmate volunteers burned through her skin as she picked up two tickets and handed one to Ben at the door. One more breath to steady nerves, and the two stepped into the ballroom, hands locked together.</p><p>The party was in full swing already, perfect to slide in undercover. The ballroom was huge, plenty of space for the dozens of tables, buffet of appetizers and drinks, and huge dance floor. At the moment, some top forty hit was blasting from the DJ's speakers to a crowd of a few hundred teenagers. Most were seniors and juniors, but a few underclassmen had schmoozed their way into an invitation, as well as a handful of people who Rey didn't recognize. The room was decked out in scarlet and silver, their school colors, in balloons and streamers and confetti. It was classy, sure, but still definitely a high school party.</p><p>And on opposite sides of the ballroom were their friend groups: a table in the back corner with Finn and Poe, and one right up front with Phaedra and Hux. </p><p>Ben quickly led Rey over to one of the only empty tables left, pulling her chair out for her. As expected, she raised an eyebrow. "Listen," he said, a mocking defensiveness in his tone. "I haven't done this 'nice-guy boyfriend' thing in a while. I... I want to be good at it. So... let me?" Their stoic staredown lasted only half a second before she smiled and put her handbag on the table. "I'm going to go get us some drinks, okay?" With a wink, he disappeared off to the food tables.</p><p>Before Rey could even touch up her lipstick or text her parents that she had made it alright, a familiar voice called out her name. </p><p>"Rey!" Rose emerged from the crowd, holding the wrists of Poe and Finn as they attempted not to lose each other in the dense crowd of teens on the dance floor. Looking a touch sweaty, but the trio was dressed to the nines, all fine fabrics and perfectly coifed hair. Rose quickly let the boys free before wrapping her arms around Rey. "I thought you weren't coming!"</p><p>Rey smiled and stood to hug her friend properly, moving to give each of the boys a warm hug. "Yeah, change of plans! I... I was convinced to come. No sense in missing it, right?"</p><p>Poe pressed a soft kiss to her cheek before spinning her. "You look goddamn breathtaking, cher! Look at you!"</p><p>Rey only managed a blush before Finn offered a hand to her. "Hey! We have a table in the back with Jannah and them. You coming?"</p><p>-</p><p>Thankfully, with most of the student population on the dance floor, the trip to the food tables was more a matter of dodging chairs and fallen coats rather than battling the crowd. Couple of sodas, a quick snack, right back to Rey. What Ben would have given for just one little nip of vodka. With a sigh, he quickly gathered a plate of appetizers and a few drinks - thanks to this whole mess, they had missed the dinner. </p><p>It was just as well since the knot in his stomach was likely going to stop him from eating anything. God, she was a princess in that dress, a dream come true. And he had been biting his tongue ever since she had agreed to be his girlfriend. Fuck, she was his girlfriend. Sure, he had dated people before, but this felt miles beyond what he had had with Lucy. She actually gave a fuck about him, and he... He had nearly broken down in the car, telling her everything. What an excellent way to scare her off.</p><p>A tap to his shoulder shook the teen from his thoughts. A flash of perfect ginger hair, the smell of stolen cologne, and a familiar arm around his shoulders.</p><p>"Hey Solo, you made it!" Hux greeted cheerfully. </p><p>He didn't even seem tipsy - Ben was impressed. Usually their group was fried when it came to school functions. Ben smiled politely. "Hey Army," he teased. "I'm shocked I do not smell whiskey on you."</p><p>"Whiskey dick, brother, can't risk it," the smaller man explained cooly. "Linda decided to take my dad out for a little date night, so I have the whole house to myself. If you need a spare room..." Hux trailed off suggestively, punching Ben's arm playfully.</p><p>Ben smacked him back, leaving the provisions on the table. "Nah, man, I'm good," he replied. "Who you here with anyway?"</p><p>Hux grinned widely. "Rae Sloan."</p><p>Ben's jaw dropped. "She went with you? You, and your short-ass, ginger-ass, second string-ass-" The two burst into laughter. "Holy shit, dude, congrats. I cannot believe she didn't have a date." Ben cracked one of the sodas and knocked back a sip.</p><p>Hux gestured over to the table, where Ben could see Phae and a few other girls sitting. "Sit with us. We have a few girls who are here stag, if you're interested," he offered.</p><p>Ben's world froze. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. For the first time, he was going to have to say no to Armitage Hux, his best friend since the third grade. They had done everything together - hell, they were both working as interns at the same company the following summer. Any other time, Ben would have jumped at the offer and they would have walked out of prom as absolute kings. Ben could have had any girl at that table, all tall and slender and gorgeous. </p><p>He sighed. "I, uh... I can't. I'm not here stag."</p><p>-</p><p>"I'm sorry guys, I can't!" Rey replied, trying her best to keep her eyes on her friends and not on the floor. How desperately she had prayed they wouldn't find her, at least not alone. She knew that they would have this conversation eventually, but it all felt more dangerous now that she was alone. At least if Ben were here, he would take some of the heat off. She could hold his hand to ground herself.</p><p>Finn cocked his head a bit, eyebrows furrowing. "What? Is the committee making you sit here or something?"</p><p>"I can talk to them if you want!" Rose interjected. She started to look over where some of the committee members were hanging out by the entrance to the ballroom.</p><p>Rey simply shook her head. "No! I..." A deep breath. "I'm not here alone."</p><p>Poe smirked and did a small shuffle towards her. "Oooh! Last minute date or did you just not tell us?" He playfully batted her shoulder. "Who's the lucky guy?"</p><p>"Or girl!" Rose piped up again.</p><p>"Right, or girl. Or person. Who is it?" He started to eye the crowd around them, searching for an answer.</p><p>Finn pouted dramatically. "And why can't they sit with us?"</p><p>Suddenly, Rey wished that floor would open up and swallow her whole. Where the fuck was Ben?</p><p>-</p><p>Hux cocked an eyebrow. "So who are you here with?"</p><p>Why the hell did this feel so strange. "With..." A beat. This was one of those before-and-after moments, Ben could feel it. "Rey."</p><p>The eyebrows furrowed seriously. "You're with the narc?" Ben braced himself as his playful tone faded into a harsher one. "You're with the fucking narc? Ben, what the fuck has gotten into you? Ever since that damn play, you've changed. One minute, it's you and me, Ben and Army, Hux and Kylo, just kicking ass and fucking around. And then you turn around and start hanging out with the class president? Letting freshman walk by us? Saying thank you to teachers? What happened to you?" Ben and Hux had only ever fought once, back in middle school. Ben had been so angry about his parents separating that he had punched Hux in the face and thrown him into the mud behind the school. Right now, Hux had the same expression as back then - Hurt.</p><p>Ben looked up and threw a hand over his face. "Dude, you don't get it!"</p><p>The smaller boy took a step back, a step away from Ben. "Don't get what?"</p><p>Ben's voice grew louder, more passionate. "That I-" Fuck, not here. He caught himself. "That I'm her boyfriend, okay? We're dating. Rey is my girlfriend."</p><p>The hurt on Hux's face only grew deeper and his voice dropped to a low murmur. "And you didn't tell me?"</p><p>-</p><p>Fuck, this next part wasn't going to be easy. It wasn't like she didn't really like Ben, and she wasn't ashamed, she just hated that there was no way to have this conversation without an argument. Romeo and Juliet, star crossed lovers from opposing houses... Except she didn't have a nurse to help her and neither of them were desperate enough to fake their deaths. Well, at least not yet.</p><p>Rey swallowed thickly, now wishing that she had walked to the punchbowl with Ben. "I'm here with Ben Solo."</p><p>The trio was silent. Poe stepped back from Rey, eyes narrowing. Six years of trust came crashing down with that one sentence, and he said it all with that one look. Rose's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates, quickly darting between the two boys to gauge their reactions. Rose herself didn't look to angry - she looked afraid. And Finn didn't even look at Rey, staring down at the table cloth with his shoulders slumped and jaw tense. Fuck, fuck, fuck.</p><p>"You really came here with that asshole?" Poe spat, taking a small step to get in front of the other two. Rey recognized it immediately as marking his territory - Finn and Rose were now his friends, not hers. Slowly, Poe's eyes traced over her face and figure, desperately searching for some kind of punchline. </p><p>Rey shook her head slightly. "He's not like that. You don't know him-"</p><p>The taller boy tensed completely, looking back at her as if he were in pain. "I know Ben Solo plenty, thanks. I can't believe you'd fall for this, Rey. I thought you were smarter than that."</p><p>What? Immediately, Rey's stance went from apologetic to defensive, taking her own step back. "Excuse me?"</p><p>"This is what guys like Solo do," Poe drawled, the words falling acidly. "They find some sweet, innocent, good girl and convince her to fall for him and then the minute they do, Solo gets what he wants. And then they leave. They're called assholes, Rey, look it up. Ben's fucking textbook and you're falling for it."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>-</p><p>"Since when do you give a fuck who I'm with?" Ben shot back. "I told you I was into her months ago and you said you didn't care!"</p><p>The two were trying valiantly not to make a scene, but failing, especially as Hux was getting even more angry. "Because I didn't think you were going to be obsessed with her!"</p><p>Ben scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Right, obsessed. Sure."</p><p>"You hang out with her like every fucking day, Ben! It's gonna be fucking Lucy all over again!" Hux spit acidly.</p><p>Ben flashed back to last year, when he and Lucy had started to date. It started in the middle of the summer, when neither of them had much to do. Hux had scored a job at a summer camp, Phae was a lifeguard, and Ben was busy dog-sitting for his father and doing odd jobs for his mother. Then Lucy walked in. One kiss at a party and they were smitten... Well, smitten wasn't exactly right: they were slobbering all over each other and rode around town blasting music through the speakers in Ben's car. When school started again, they spent every single weekend partying at her school, until they finally broke up after Christmas. It took a long time to get Phae and Hux back after ditching them for months...</p><p>Ben sighed and lowered his voice. "You're right." Hux opened his mouth as if to hurl another harsh word, but stopped, cocking an eyebrow. Taking a breath, Ben squared up to his friend. No more dumb teen bullshit - he was being called out and he'd take it. "I fucked up with Lucy. I really did. And I haven't been hanging out with you as much, and that's on me. Maybe I am a little obsessed, but she means a lot to me. I would have brought her around, but you were kind of a dick to her. I really like her, man. And I want you to like her too."</p><p>The ginger took a breath and gave Ben a half-hearted smack to the chest. "You really like her that much?"</p><p>Ben smiled. "Yeah. She's... She's amazing, man."</p><p>Hux ran a hand through his hair and let his head hang back dramatically. He groaned. "Fine. But I refuse to like Dameron." He stuck a finger into Ben's chest. "And I better be the best man at your wedding still. And you're coming to my house for dinner tomorrow - my mom misses you."</p><p>The two snorted simultaneously. Hux's mother always doted on Ben, especially after she found out that his parents had separated around the same time as her own divorce, and often acted as if she was his second mother. Even Hux's cat, Millicent, seemed to perk up when Ben was around. Neither of them had any siblings and never wanted any, not since their fateful meeting in Mr. Jinn's fencing class.</p><p>Hux smacked Ben's shoulder as they began walking back towards the dance floor, only stopping for Ben to greet Phaedra and a few of his other friends before venturing back to Rey. Ben scowled, eyeing the small crowd around his table.</p><p>Ben stepped forward, placing the snacks and drinks on the table. One millisecond glance around the table at everyone's expressions, and he knew what had happened and what was likely to come next. Rey was outnumbered, with her three friends on one side of the table and her on the other - Ben took his spot beside Rey, placing a hand on her lower back.</p><p>"Is there a problem here?" he asked, voice dangerously low. Rey jumped at feeling his hand suddenly on her, but her expression was grateful. Dameron, on the other hand, looked like he was about to explode. Poor Rey, how could she be friends with this guy?</p><p>Poe narrowed his eyes. "Oh, look, it's King Kong. Speak of the devil and he shall appear," he quoted, cocking an eyebrow.</p><p>An urge to swing his right hook came and went. Ben had to refocus - Rey, Rey, Rey. No matter what happened, it had to be what was best for Rey. What she wanted. And that meant probably not punching her friend in the face, even if he was being disrespectful. Maybe.</p><p>"Dameron, why don't you leave my date and I alone? I'm not here to start shit with you," Ben replied coolly, eyeing the other boy carefully. He had at least half a foot on the other boy, and at least fifty pounds. He didn't need to get territorial - Ben just stood up straight and looked down, detached. Rey's night wouldn't be ruined by a dumb fight.</p><p>Poe's face was getting red. "Why don't you go be a nuisance with your other dumb minions over there and leave my friend alone, Solo?"</p><p>That was it! Ben let Rey go and took a step around the table towards Poe, who met him instantly. There was barely a foot of space between them as they both squared their shoulders and sneered at each other. Ben's fist clenched at his side, itching to knock the other teen off his feet. But there was something on his face... Dameron's eye brow quirked, just a degree, daring Ben to punch him. Fuck, this was a trap. If Ben punched him, Rey would leave him for sure, and then Poe would win. </p><p>With a deep breath, Ben lost the stare-down and relaxed his stance. "Listen." Poe seemed caught off guard, but stood firm. "If you have a problem with me, fine. I was a real dick to you and your friends and I admit that. I was an asshole, and I'm genuinely sorry. Middle school grudges are hard to let go of. But that doesn't mean you get to ruin Rey's night. She cares about you, she cares about me, and we both care about her. So I am going to walk away, and if you care about her at all, you will too." Ben grit his teeth and carefully emphasized the last words. "So. Leave. Us. Alone. You and I can fight this out another night."</p><p>A realization seemed to sit the other four teens at the same time as Ben took a step back. Ben had apologized. And admitted he cared for Rey. Like a guard dog being called back, Ben swiftly found his spot behind Rey again, resting his hands on her hips and nudging the top of her head with his nose. Not a stance of ownership - a stance of loyalty and affection. He didn't look at the trio again, only looking down where Rey's hand gently rested on his own.</p><p>Poe took another step towards Ben, but Rose reached out and snatched the back of his collar. "Leave them be, Poe. She likes him. She's allowed to like him. Let her have a life." The two boys stared at Rose like she had grown another head, but she simplytook both by the wrist and began to drag them back to their table. She paused right as she walked past Rey and Ben. "You two look really nice together and I really like your dress. I hope you guys have fun and I'll see you later, okay?"</p><p>Rey nodded and smiled gratefully and Rose returned the grin. The trio marched off to their table, and Ben inhaled and exhaled harshly.</p><p>The tiny brunette turned in Ben's arms and wrapped him in a hug, grateful for the slight heel in her shoes. He was confused, but he held her. Any excuse to hold Rey in his arms was enough for him. The kiss to his cheek, right beside his lips, made his ears turn a bit pink and he furrowed his eyebrow.</p><p>"What was that for?" he asked, unwilling to let her part from him.</p><p>She giggled as she placed her hands on his chest, straightening his tie. "You apologized to him. And you defended me. Thank you."</p><p>"Anything for you," he said instantly. Fuck, was that too much? "I mean... It's what a boyfriend does." God, he really had to watch himself - he had felt fairly light headed ever since she had agreed to be his and it was making him sappy. Fuck, he needed an excuse to stop talking...</p><p>Ben carefully took Rey's hand and, with all the confidence he could fake, walked out with her to the dance floor, a slower pop song starting to play. Without a word, he gently rested one hand on her hip and the other met her palm, pulling her close to him. The small noise of surprise she made cracked his confident mask, making him smile.</p><p>"I didn't know you danced," she offered, resting her small hand on his shoulder. The world had already disappeared entirely. There weren't any other students, no prom, no school. Just them. </p><p>"There's a lot you don't know about me," he replied, letting his forehead gently brush against her own. </p><p>God, she was beautiful. More than beautiful. Every part of her was so tiny and sweet, so unlike his own hulking form. And yet they really did seem to fit together, like they were supposed to be like this. And to think he had stopped himself for so long from telling her how he felt, what he was thinking.</p><p>His mind flashed back to eighth grade. Rey had sat in front of him in World History, and he spent every single day memorizing the back of her head. She would turn and smile at him when she passed papers back, and she always handed him a pencil when he forgot. It was the only reason he had perfect attendance that year - just to stare at her for forty-five minutes a day. They barely said a word to each other, and he never let his walls come down, not an inch. But he was absolutely smitten with her, and had taken every opportunity since to be closer. After nearly five years of trying to get her attention, and failing miserably, he finally had her in his arms.</p><p>He savored every little centimeter he got to lean down, and every instant as his lips met hers. There may as well have been fireworks going off around them - he didn't notice at all. Every whisper and murmur from the other students was just muffled noise. Ben Solo, the boy who wanted for nothing, finally had everything. And her name was Rey Jackson.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Three Little Words</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rey's ears pounded slightly as she finally settled down in the passenger seat of Ben's car. While they had been dancing and socializing, the music had been blaring incredibly loudly, and now her ears were ringing as the silence of the parking lot welcomed her back to the real world. Prom had been everything she had hoped - an amazing DJ, a perfect date, some post-worthy photos. And now she got to have a quiet moment with her man. Her boyfriend. What a strange concept, boyfriend. She looked over to Ben, who had leaned his seat back a few degrees and was resting his eyes with a soft smile on his face.</p><p>He was everything, wasn't he?</p><p>Rey sneaked her hand into his lap to find one of his own, lacing her fingers with his. It just felt right to touch him now, though she wasn't sure when that need started. After one more quiet moment, he raised her hand to his lips and fixed his seat.</p><p>"So," he started, turning the ignition and backing out of the parking space. "Am I taking you to Rose's?"</p><p>"I actually was thinking of skipping that. I'm not sure it's where I want to go now," she replied, looking out her window.</p><p>Ben furrowed his brow at the traffic. "Where am I taking you, then?"</p><p>Rey bit the inside of her lip to calm the redness in her face. "I... I was thinking your house?" Silence. "I mean, if you want?"</p><p>He coughed in surprise, nodding. "No! No, that sounds... Sure. Yeah. My place." Out of the corner of her eye, she watched him try and hide the grin that grew across his lips and fail miserably. The knot in Rey's stomach tightened as he started the route to his place, passing the turn that would take them to her neighborhood. Was it normal to feel antsy?</p><p>---</p><p>Ben's bedroom was cleaner than Rey had expected. No laundry on the floor, shelves were tidy, no soda cans or fast food wrappers. It was a lot like his car in that way - sleek, clean, and oozing wealth. A dozen installed shelves lined one wall, leaving only space for the headboard of his queen sized bed. A desk with three monitors and a comfortable looking leather chair sat in the corner. A large tv stand and flat screen sat opposite the bed with a few black bean bag chairs neatly tucked in front. A great hang out space, though she had never been in the room before tonight.</p><p>Quietly and almost effortlessly, Ben whisked Rey upstairs and locked his door behind them. Rose had promised to cover for Rey if her parents called, sounding a touch more enthusiastic over the phone than Rey had expected. And now Rey and Ben were completely alone in Ben's bedroom, with Ben's mother asleep on the opposite end of the house. Privacy.</p><p>And anxiety. Rey's stomach twisted as soon as Ben had turned on the lights. He seemed to enjoy his aesthetic lighting - a soft glow came from behind his headboard, his monitor, his TV. It was enough to see by fairly well, but it definitely set... a mood. Fuck, Rey nearly wanted to walk back out the front door the farther she went with this plan. Ben slipped his suit jacket and tie off, hanging them over the back of his desk chair.</p><p>He caught her watching him and she stood awkwardly in the center of his room. He cocked an eyebrow, "You okay, princess?"</p><p>She nodded quickly, but followed it with a sigh. Lying to Ben always left her feeling worse. "I... I'm not really sure how this is supposed to go."</p><p>A soft laugh burst from Ben's throat and he sat on the edge of his bed, untying his shoes. "Your guess is as good as mine."</p><p>The words hung in the air, the meaning slowly getting clearer as the seconds ticked past. After all those "lessons", after all the rumors, the big talk, the confident attitude, the cockiness... "You're a virgin?" Rey's stance relaxed as her lips parted in shock. "You?"</p><p>Ben finished undoing his shoes and let them fall onto the rug. He took inhaled deeply and shrugged. "You got me." Rey stepped out of her sandals and set her purse beside them, taking a few steps towards Ben, who stood to face her. He put a hand up to prevent her from replying. "I... Okay, look." His large hand rubbed over his eyes, grimacing. "I didn't tell anyone. I let everyone go around saying whatever they want about me. But... Yeah. I've never had sex."</p><p>The smaller girl's hands rested on her hips. "But what about all that stuff you said? And you were pretty good at everything... How did you, you know, know how to do that?"</p><p>"I didn't say I was completely new at this. I've... messed around with a few people, but I've never... Done this." He gestured to the room and bed. "Lucy wanted to, but... I dunno. I know it's cliche or whatever, but I wanted to wait for the right person. Maybe that was dumb."</p><p>Shaking her head quickly, Rey reached out to rest her hand on his chest. "No! Not dumb at all!" Her eyes lowered as a small smile turned up her lips. "Actually... I think that's really sweet." </p><p>His arms moved to wrap around her waist, pulling her closer and resting his head atop hers. "Well... You're really special to me, Rey. No one's ever made me feel like you do." His plush lips kissed her forehead and he held her closer, crushing her against his body affectionately.</p><p>Rey was thankful that she could bury her face in Ben's chest. "So... What do we do? I don't think I'm supposed to ask that question-"</p><p>She could hear him clearing his throat and feel him tense up. "I could... Help you out of that dress?" One of hands drifted from her waist to her hair, smoothing it out with his large fingers.</p><p>Trying to hide the growing redness on her face, Rey turned in his arms and moved her hair over one shoulder, showing him the zipper of her gown. He hesitated briefly, leaning down to press a soft kiss to her exposed neck as he undid the zipper, moving his mouth along her skin as he nudged the sleeves off her shoulders. The dress fell to the floor in a heap at her feet, and Ben's arms wrapped around her, softly caressing the warm skin of her stomach.</p><p>She hadn't even realized the shaking until he mentioned it. "Rey? Are you okay?" His words were hot on her ear. Fuck, she was shaking. Somewhere between the nerves and the cold of the room, she surmised. </p><p>She nodded. "I'm just... cold, I think. Could we be under the covers, maybe?" If he couldn't see her body so openly, maybe it would feel less scary. Maybe.</p><p>He nodded, turning her to kiss her forehead again before nodding over to his bed. Rey immediately leapt from his arms onto his soft, thick comforter, reveling in the luxurious sheet against her bare skin. The black sheets were fitting, she mused. They matched his jacket, his backpack, his hair- As he started to unbutton his shirt, her mouth ran dry. Was she supposed to watch or look away? His eyes were looking out the window, apparently lost in thought as he slipped the shirt and undershirt off and onto his chair. Fuck, Rey would never get tired of looking at him... When he hands drifted down to undo his belt, she buried her face in the comforter. Maybe she wasn't so ready for all this.</p><p>After a moment, she vaguely saw the lights dim in the corner of her eyes and felt the bed dip as he climbed under the covers beside her. Something in her gut still didn't let her look at him. Maybe this was all a bad idea.</p><p>"Rey?" His voice broke the heavy silence. "You okay?" His tone was quiet and gentle.</p><p>"Um... Yeah. I just... I'm nervous, is all," she replied, still curled up on herself. She was just cold, she lied. Just cold.</p><p>A shuffle, and his body was facing hers, lying on his side. "We don't have to do this, you know. Just because it's prom and we're dating or whatever, we don't have to have sex-"</p><p>The knot in Rey's stomach twisted and she looked up to face him. How could his body language be so calm? "No! I want to, I just... I dunno, it's big, you know? And I... I'm just scared that maybe I'll do something wrong or something." Rey grimaced as she felt the knot move from her stomach to her throat.</p><p>Cautiously, Ben reached out a hand to stroke her cheek with his knuckle. "Why don't we just cuddle for a bit, okay? See how we feel? If it still feels like too much, I'll lend you a t-shirt, no pressure, okay?"</p><p>And just like that, the knot started to unravel. Rey nodded and squeezed her eyes shut to stave off any threatening tears. His arms were warm and inviting, and his chest smelled like his cologne. The first few seconds felt a bit strange, but as his warmth spread through her body, she began to relax. This was really... nice. It didn't feel sexy or sensual or whatever - it was just nice. Comforting. Between his shampoo, his cologne, and his warm, masculine scent, it was so easy to nestle in close to him. On of his arms rested around her waist, while the other cradled her neck and jaw. His eyes shut and they just laid there a while, breathing the same air and tangling up with one another.</p><p>Finally, Rey's heart slowed and her breathing calmed, her skin warm now that he had held her. They could take this one step at a time, right? The bases, like Ben said. One little step at a time, stopping whenever she wanted. Slowly, she pulled him closer, pressing her lips softly against his. The soft groan in his throat felt encouraging, as did the way his hands grazed over her body. His soft tongue parted her lips as he kissed her deeper, not battling her but exploring her. It was so easy just to melt into him.</p><p>His lips parted from her own as quickly as they had met. He groaned softly and brought a hand to his face, rubbing at his eyes.</p><p>Rey panicked. "What?"</p><p>Ben shook his head. "I..." He sighed deeply. "I gotta tell you something." Rey didn't respond, only stayed curled up in his arms, listening with rapt attention. "Even if this means we don't do this or you leave me or whatever, I have to tell you. I can't do this if I don't tell you the truth."</p><p>Her mind raced with possibilities. He was moving. He already had a girlfriend. He was gay. He lied... about something. He fucked Jannah. No, he kissed Jannah. He definitely lied.</p><p>He inhaled slowly, eyes fixated on hers. It was that look again. That same, strange look he had given her when he had cornered her on the stairs in his basement. The thoughts that buzzed in her head died out into silence.</p><p>"I love you, Rey."</p><p>The world stopped. No sounds, no sights, no sensations at all. Part of her screamed that she hadn't heard him right, that this wasn't real, that something was wrong. Even as he cringed, awaiting rejection, she didn't register it. Nothing. He had said that. And he wasn't kidding either. It wasn't like the movies, with those words echoing in her head or anything so dramatic. It was so simple, those silly words, and yet the garden overflowed in her heart. Not a flower or vine, Ben had planted and cultivated and cared for an entire greenhouse within her. It wasn't clear how much time had passed, but a careful smile bloomed on her lips.</p><p>Her eyes were the last thing to react, meeting his eyes that had widened in fear. "Rey? Are you-"</p><p>He was cut off with her kiss, so confident and sweet on his lips. His body was frozen underneath hers as she kissed him over and over, the smile not fading one degree. As the adrenaline gradually faded and the world came back into view, she curled up under his chin and let his arms envelope her completely.</p><p>"I love you too."</p><p>His arms squeezed her, nearly too tight, and she heard the quietest sniffling above her. As much as she wanted to wipe any tears from his face, he was too proud for that. She gave him a minute to himself as she traced winding patterns into his back with her fingers, eyes closed as a wave of relief washed over her. Love. She had known it for weeks, though perhaps a lot of it had been wishful thinking. None of that mattered now - she had Ben. Ben, her boyfriend, someone who loved her. The very thought of it sent little sparks of joy through her veins.</p><p>After a long moment, Ben shifted to kiss her. This was different than before - determined, needy, hungry. His lips moved against hers with a certain new desperation and she could taste the salt from his tears on his lips. He was running off pure instinct and emotion now that the barriers between them were broken. His hands slid lower to grip her ass, shifting to have her straddle his hips as she sat on top of him. </p><p>"Rey..." he groaned breathily, roaming her slender form with his eyes. His hands rested on her thighs, massaging them and running his hands over her skin. "I need you, baby. Fuck... You are the sexiest goddamn thing in this universe and I'm the luckiest man on earth." There was nowhere to hide the redness on Rey's face, not in this position, so all she could do was stare back at him and burn crimson. It was impossible not to watch closely as his tongue traced over his teeth and he smirked. "Get that pretty bra off for me."</p><p>Rey obeyed, trying her best to relax. This was what she had wanted, right? To be in bed with Ben Solo? As she felt the clasp of her bra come undone in her hand, she tried her best to focus on the warmth of his palms as he stroked her thighs. They ran over the skin hypnotically, reassuring her. Beneath the lustful glint in his deep brown eyes, there was a spark of concern for her wellbeing. Her sweet Ben.</p><p>Without allowing herself to overthink it, the bra fell away from her body. After a moment of wrestling with the straps, Rey let it fall off the edge of the bed. And there they were - second base. Shirtless, only a little fabric separating them now, faces flushed. Fuck, this was really happening, wasn't it? As if sensing her tension, Ben sat up beneath her, circling her with his arms, and pressed her into his chest. The hug was comfortable and tender, though his hands brushed her back hesitantly.</p><p>"Is this okay?" he murmured, pausing to breathe. Ben was shaking almost imperceptibly, only obvious now that they had both stopped moving.</p><p>"Yeah. Are you okay?" she asked, pressing soft kisses to his temple.</p><p>He inhaled slowly and cleared his throat, shifting to look her in the eye. "Yeah, sorry about that. Just..." He trailed off, eyes falling to her shoulder.</p><p>For all the tough-guy, machismo bullshit that Ben gave off, he was just as scared as she was. No, fear wasn't the emotion here - it was anxiety, nervousness, excitement. Everyone always made it seem like men were made for sex and to have ten tons of it, while women were supposed to be virginal, demure, coquettish. Funny how behind closed doors, Rey had never felt more of an equal to anyone than she did to Ben Solo.</p><p>Instead of letting him wallow in his anxiety, Rey swiftly captured his mouth with her own and pressed his palm against her breast. He started under her hands, but quickly caught on to her intentions. Words were hard when they were both so wound up - actions were easier. Their mouths worked in tandem, an easy dance they reveled in every single time. His hand carefully grasped at her bare breast, tweaking the nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Rey's voice was not her own as he pulled soft moans and hums from her throat. Cautiously, her hips ground down against his own, causing him to groan deep in his chest.</p><p>He let his lips trail down her neck and chest before capturing one of her pink nipples in his mouth. He was absolutely relentless, lips and tongue never ceasing. At the graze of his teeth, a high-pitched lewd moan escape her bruised mouth, causing her to blush and his eyes to roll back. He really enjoyed this, didn't he?</p><p>Confidence started to surge through Ben and he carefully changed their position, laying Rey on her back and kneeling between her legs. His mouth still suckled carefully at her breasts, nipping and licking, as his hands gently caressed the soft skin of her stomach and hips. It was much easier to relax now that he wasn't looming over her or staring at her so intently. Slowly, her eyes drifted closed and she gave into the spark of his mouth on her skin.</p><p>A knot twisted in her stomach suddenly. Ben's fingers deftly dragged along her hips, bringing her soft cotton panties with them. Fuck, fuck, fuck, this was a step they had yet to take. Sure, he had fingered her that one time but... This was different. He could see the soft tangle of dark hair between her legs, the pale skin of her thighs... As he slid them down, his mouth abandoned its post at her breast and began kissing delicately at her stomach, pausing to nuzzle her skin affectionately. As nervous as she was, he really was doing his best to calm her. With a shaky inhale, her eyes stayed shut and a hand drifted to his hair. It grounded her - he was so familiar now, like an anchor to keep her from drifting...</p><p>The sudden feeling of a wet muscle between her legs shocked her eyes open. Her hips tried to buck upwards at the new sensation, but Ben's large hands pinned her hips down. He was gentle and unsure at first, darting his tongue out and giving careful licks between the lips of her sex. Whether purposeful or not, the light grazes against the smaller girl's clit were torturous. Her panting became more intense and her heartbeat stuttered as he continued his soft, teasing licks. </p><p>Never in her wildest daydreams had she imagined Ben eating her pussy like this, but now she was flooded with the idea. Is this what he had meant about her legs around him? Slowly, she let both her thighs rest on his shoulders, testing his reaction. A deep groan vibrated from him and his hands dug into the meat of her thighs, pulling her even closer. Fuck... That beast-like demeanor took over, causing him to kiss and lick her like a starving man. His tongue wedged deep inside of her, forcing her back to arch in pleasure. That familiar heat started to burn in her cheeks. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Words were impossible, especially once she let herself look down at him.</p><p>Ben, her boyfriend Ben, only minutes ago looking the perfect gentleman, was nearly feral. Hair mussed and wild, brow furrowed in concentration, mouth moving fervently against her sex... Rey teetered on the edge of orgasm at the sight of him so desperate. As if he could sense her stare, his eyes opened. There was a raging blaze in those eyes, hunger, desire, need. Orgasm ripped through her, her hand muffling her cries as wave after wave of pleasure shot through her veins. It was as if Ben hadn't cared or noticed - he was insatiable.</p><p>After an eternity, he finally let her rest, gently moving her legs from his shoulders and adjusting to lay beside her. His tongue deftly licked his lips clean, wiping away the excess with the back of his hand. He grinned, incredibly satisfied with himself, letting out a deep exhale.</p><p>As Rey finally caught her breath, she smiled deliriously. "How long have you been wanting to do that?"</p><p>"Truthfully?" he asked. His smirk grew wider. "Last spring, you wore a pink pleated skirt to class. And it look every ounce of my self control not to throw you on my desk and eat you out right there and then. Goddamn, it was worth the wait."</p><p>Usually, a comment like that would have sent blood rushing to Rey's face, but instead she let out a soft laugh. "I love you, Ben."  She hadn't registered the words before she had said them. Is this what love did to her brain? Just a blissful haze with sweet words and reassurances?</p><p>His smirk broke, smile becoming smaller and more shy. "I love you too, Rey."</p><p>That blissful haze wrapped them both up comfortably as they kissed, more gentle and sweet rather than fiery. There was no need to rush or try and rile the other up now. Everything felt so simple and natural now. Hormones and pheromones were working their magic, anxieties started to recede, hands wandered and lips tasted, and everything felt heavenly.</p><p>After a near eternity in this hazy, orgasmic heaven, Ben parted from her and went to his bedside drawer. Oh, right. He came back with a small foil square, clearly trying not to draw too much attention to it. Right, condoms. In her haste, she honestly would have forgotten - lately her careful nature had started to wane. Without much ceremony or conversation, he opened the packet and methodically slid the latex over his hardness. </p><p>And then Ben was naked and above her, hands planted on either side of her head, cock resting just above her clit. For a moment, they just looked at each other and a strange sense of deja vu came over Rey. "Can I...?" he asked quietly, voice barely making a sound. That same anxiety from when they had first kissed in her basement washed over her. She nodded slowly, reaching up to kiss him once more. A little familiarity before they braved new territory. His dark locks were soft in her fingers, and she kept her hand gently twisted in them even as he pulled away to look down between them.</p><p>The head of his cock against her clit sent electric sparks through her, though she willed her hips to stay still. Slowly, gently, he rubbed the tip against her entrance, causing them both to let out a soft gasp at the new feeling. Something about the size and smooth skin of his cock felt foreign and different. Once he was sure he had his angle right, Ben kissed her chastely once more before slowly, carefully pushing inside.</p><p>It wasn't pain exactly, but the feeling was definitely less than comfortable. They definitely should have used lube or saliva or something - the friction was a bit too much and Rey whimpered. After a moment though, her walls relaxed and he slipped all in the way inside.</p><p>"Rey... Holy fucking God..." he breathed, voice tight. He was trying his best to stay still, but she could feel the small jerk of his hips. His eyes had screwed shut in the overwhelming sensation, but slowly he opened them again to meet hers.</p><p>And there they were. Ben Solo was deep inside her, naked and tangled up in his bed. They had lost their virginities to each other. The anxiety had built it up to be so much more than the event itself - while it was different, it didn't feel like a huge leap. It felt... really nice. Like they were as close as two people could possibly be to each other. He simply fit inside her, like a puzzle piece she hadn't realized she was missing. Her walls throbbed around his cock, causing her hips to move suddenly.</p><p>At this, Ben growled and set a deep rhythm. Fuck, that felt very different than anything else she had experienced. The constant friction against her sensitive nerves and the sound of his soft growls and breaths was almost overwhelming. Fuck, fuck, fuck, her ability to even think was disappeared rapidly. Soon, she was only able to speak his name. It was like a prayer on her lips and he was her God.</p><p>"Rey... Fuck, baby, I'm... close..." he managed, voice tight and breathless. His thrusts sped up and lost their rhythm, getting more desperate. His hand snaked down to her hip, holding her still as he fucked her. It felt like every bit of tension he had built up over the years was finally coming to a peak and he was losing control. "Rey... Oh my God..." The sight of him so on the brink of absolute devastation was hypnotizing. His teeth grit and the muscle in his jaw twitched, his hand grasped onto her almost too tightly, and the deep growl of her name resonated deep in his chest. </p><p>She felt his cock twitch inside her and his muscles completely relaxed. He caught himself on one arm, as not to crush her, and let his forehead rest against her shoulder.  He was sweaty and exhausted, though his skin nearly glowed with warmth and his satisfaction. His lips pressed a lazy kiss to her jaw before slowly removing himself and rolling off of her, letting out a breath as his back hit the sheets. </p><p>So that was sex. Rey breathed deeply, trying to will her heart rate to go down. It was definitely as fun as everyone said. Sure, she hadn't "gotten off" but she had read enough trashy fiction to know that was somewhat typical. Besides, she wasn't sure she could after he had lavished her with his tongue. She smiled and curled up to face him, pulling the blanket up to cover her. Without Ben's scorching hot skin against hers, the room felt cold.</p><p>Slowly, her beast came back to the world of the living. He shed the condom and tossed it in the trash, before pulling the blanket over himself. It was another minute before he spoke again. "Are you okay?" His tone was laced with anxiety. Where had the orgasmic bliss gone?</p><p>"Yeah. Are you?"</p><p>"More than. Fuck that was... incredible. I-" he cut himself off. "You didn't cum, did you?"</p><p>Rey pondered a lie. She knew this could be a hit to a guy's ego - but lying had historically been a disaster with Ben. "Well..."</p><p>Ben pressed a hand to his face. "Fuck. I swear, I'm not usually... You're just so..." He sighed and offered an embarrassed smile. "You just feel so fucking good, Rey."</p><p>Rey shook her head and moved closer, curling up against his chest. "Shush. You can pay me back next time."</p><p>Another echo of their past. Ben let his eyes shut as he wrapped his arms around her comfortably, letting out a small yawn. "I love you, Rey Jackson. I love you, I love you, I love you." His words slowed and slurred as his exhaustion started to overcome his consciousness.</p><p>"I love you too, Ben," she mumbled. "My Ben."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ah, we have finally reached the end. I may write more in this universe - as high school lovers rarely ever play out smooth. Major Explicit vibes in this chapter.</p><p>And gosh darn it, I'm 1k short of my goal. Well, you can't win em all. Enjoy.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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